Long-Term Relationship Laziness We All Experience

September 25, 2018  |  
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Long term relationships changes

Gettyimages.com/Romantic scene of a young beautiful couple in the kitchen.

I looked in the mirror the other day and thought, “Wow—I would’ve never let my boyfriend see me like this when we first started dating.” I had a giant, fluffy robe on, a shower cap (polka-dotted, might I add), and mascara smeared all over my cheeks from the shower. For the record, I wasn’t just like this for a brief moment while getting ready for the day—I’d been hanging out like this, around my boyfriend, for a few hours. That’s what being together and living together for many years looks like. Whoops! Should I make more of an effort to appear to be that angelic, saint-like, “effortlessly” beautiful individual he started dating? Meh. Things seem to be going just fine. That being said, if you’re in a long-term relationship then you know how some gestures and habits just sort of fall by the wayside after a while. Like these.


Hiding the beauty regiment

Per the introduction, you know that I do not hide away from my partner until I look presentable. Looking presentable is for, let’s face it, everyone else in our lives. But he can see me looking like a swamp creature.


Listening, completely

I used to listen so intently when my boyfriend would talk about his day, you’d think I was transcribing his life story. Now I just…turn the volume down on my TV show a little, with one eye still on it.


Doing the other’s chores

I just wanted to do anything I could to make my man’s life easier when we started dating. I’d do his laundry, move his car for him on street cleaning day, and stock his fridge. Now, we both bicker, trying to convince the other one to do stuff for us.


Always giving the airport ride

It didn’t matter what time my boyfriend was going to the airport when we first started dating—I’d get up with him at four am and drive him there, bushy-tailed and happy to help. Now, if anyone has a flight before 9am, that person will be taking a cab and we both know it.


“We’ll watch whatever you want”

We were both martyrs about what movie we went to in theaters or what we watched on Netflix—it was all, “Whatever makes you happy!” Today, for the record, I will not spend the $16 on a movie ticket for anything I am not less than very excited to see. And as for Netflix, we spend more time arguing about what we watch than we do watching something.


Watching something together—at all

Let’s be honest: we usually end up watching separate shows, in separate rooms. But every 20 to 30 minutes we pause what we’re watching to go bother/snuggle the other because, we do still love each other.


“We’ll eat whatever you want”

We would also happily eat whatever the other person wanted to eat, just to make them happy. Now, well, let’s just say on nights we plan to order delivery you can find us eating frozen pizza and eggs, respectively, looking annoyed.


Always finding the strength for sex

We would do it like bunny rabbits when we started dating. Now we play this game where we try to make it seem like the other person is the reason we aren’t having sex, when secretly, neither of us is up for it. We’ll come up with every excuse in the world.


Taking an interest in their hobbies

I dedicated a lot of weekends, and money, to doing things I had zero interest in when I started dating my boyfriend, because he was interested in those things. Look, we’ll do that occasionally for each other now but we have a rule—it has to be very important to the other person. My boyfriend can drag me to one event a year related to his hobbies.


“Let’s sleep together, even if you’re sick”

We used to be so romantic about it when one person would be sick. The healthy one would insist on staying by the sick one’s side the whole time. Now, I quarantine my boyfriend to the guest bedroom and bathroom when he’s sick.


Meeting their enthusiasm

If my boyfriend was excited about a story when we started dating, I’d find it in my heart to be just as excited. Now, we’re both willing to say, “I’m sorry—I’m just not on your level with this one.”


“I got the bill” “No, I got it”

We used to do this adorable thing of fighting over who’d pay the bill. Now, like business associates, we itemize that sh*t and make sure everyone just pays their own part.


Always shaving, just in case

I used to shave my legs and more private areas every time I showered, just in case there’d be sex that day. Now we schedule sex so, I know when I do and don’t need to shave.


Concealing special alone time

Ooh the dances we’d do to make sure the other person did not know we masturbated. Now my boyfriend will just text me and ask, “What time are you coming home? Was going to j*#k off.”



I mean…there are only so many BJs a woman can give in her lifetime. And they seem to run out in the first two years of a relationship.

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