All Articles Tagged "divorce"

Celebrities Who Were Blindsided By Divorce

February 3rd, 2016 - By Meg Butler
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When celebrity divorce news ends up making headlines, sometimes the fans aren’t the only ones surprised. These celebrities said that they were under the impression that their marriages were doing just fine — until they heard about their split because papers were filed.

We know that celebrity schedules can be very busy. But these men and women deserved a little more than just a warning before their partners decided to break the news to the world that they were on the way out the door.

Have you ever been shocked by the abrupt end of a relationship? Tell us your story in the comment section.

Image Source: WENN

Image Source: WENN

Mechelle Epps

When news of Mechelle and Mike Epps’s split hit the headlines, Mechelle said it was news to her — and “shocking” because she and her husband were together as late as last month. She wasn’t sure it was really over until she saw paparazzi photos of the man she thought was still her husband walking down the streets of New York City with another woman.

Open Letter To My Child’s Mom: Stop Harming Our Kid

February 2nd, 2016 - By MommyNoire Editor
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Dear Baby Moms,

What’s your problem?

You and I are a wrap, so much so that the marriage could be mummified in the pyramids of Giza. There is just one issue. We have this young child between the two of us, so we are going linked for quite some time. So now, it is all about the child, right? So, why does it feel that its all about you?

You.

You.

You.

And Me.

A wise man once told me something I already knew. He said, “Make sure you have your own relationship with your child so if something goes wrong between you and the mother, your relationship stands on its own.” You know this wise man and clearly he knew you well too, because it wasn’t long after, you started acting a fool. I think he saw something that my rose-colored glasses missed. See, you know and I know I am a helluva father and, based on how you tried to stop the divorce you initiated, a pretty good husband too. However, you seem eternally miserable and you want to bring the baby into the fray.

The child is not a weapon to be used against me. In fact,  you throw grenades, then pick the child up, hiding from shrapnel. Coward.

I know my child. I should say, we know each other well. So, when I am asked, “Are you OK, Daddy?” it is becoming harder and harder to hide. Your harassing texts. Your attempts to argue in front of the kid. Your manipulative ways that you try to sway the baby to your side. In fact, you have tried hard to preemptively tell lies to anybody that will listen, including the police. As a Black man, I definitely have my issues with the police, but even they have told me straight up – they see through your bullsh… The litany of lies…when will it end?

One thing you did not lie about was when you said you would “destroy me through your child.” Well, you didn’t lie about your reckless willingness to attempt such a mighty feat. I have news for you, sweetie, it didn’t work then and it won’t work now. As a parent, I’m indestructible. I  take bumps and bruises well because, I know the light will shine bright on all of your dark deeds in due time. Moreover, I’ll fight as a father to the death for my kid even if she also serves as an Achilles heel for you. You won’t provoke me into doing something damaging to you so that I can freefall into your silly traps.

The funny thing about trying to dig somebody else’s grave is you often can fall in yourself. My mother told me that one.

The divorce was your doing. No amount of begging could get you to halt that process years ago, and begged I did. In hindsight, I was miserable, but was cool with suffering in silence for the good public look in front of family and friends that saw us as a model family. Certainly, I didn’t want to be one of those relationships struck down by divorce. What a disgrace we were, I used to think. So, in some ways you did me a favor. I’ve found extreme happiness, you know, the kind people dream of.

It seems like you take umbrage with my present state and make it duty to disrupt my merriment.

My new girlfriend…is she the reason your attitude has taken a turn for the malicious recently? Or could it be that our child has taken a particular liking to her? Could it be you’ve realized you made a grave mistake? I don’t know and you would never admit such notions.

I don’t need answers.

I need for you to stop the following:

Stop creating friction in front of the child.

Move on with your life.

Get a man.

Or a dog.

Or a cat.

Or a frog.

Whatever you do -get something to pay attention to.

Get a hobby that doesn’t involve meddling in my life.

Better yet, get a job. Its ok to work.

Stop whispering in the child’s ear. She’s not your little spy machine.

Stop calling the police and wasting taxpayer dollars over nothingness.

The child knows when the police are to be called and its not this.

Get help.

Seek a therapist.

Stop trying to turn a child against her father.

Our nuptials are dead, but apparently you are trying to play zombie. It just won’t work. Put the child at center again and realize that all this drama only serves to harm the psyche of an impressionable, young human being that loves her mother and father. I’m not going to talk bad about you. You have repeatedly told me and others that I am a great father. So, why all of this?  Why?

Don’t tell me. Tell yourself. And check yourself before you wreck your kid.
Truly Yours,

Great Dad

Are You Still Friends With Your Ex’s Family?

January 21st, 2016 - By Kweli Wright
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When you’ve been in a serious relationship with someone for a long time, it’s natural for you to be “in” with their family. Their mother becomes your mother; their pesky siblings become your pain-in-the-butt siblings, and their friends become your best buds forever. So what happens when you and your beau hit Itsoverville and decide to go your separate ways?

If you guys ended on a good note, then you’ve probably opted to remain cordial with your now-ex, maybe even friends. So continuing to hang out with his favorite cousin on the weekends or going on those sporadic shopping sprees with his baby sis’ won’t be so complicated. However, if you and your old boo are now each other’s worst nightmares, then this is a whole other bowl of lumped-up gravy.

A bad breakup can not only make you look at him differently, but his family too. Being all up in his mom’s, pop’s, uncles’ and aunties’ faces will be a constant reminder of (“ilk” face) him. And just when you think things can’t get any more vomit-inducing, you start to hear those, “So when are you and my brother getting back together?” or “So, umm…have you spoken to [insert trifling ex’s name here] lately?” lines. And all the bad blood, pain and horrid memories just flood out your poor ol’ heart and mind.

Some of you may have experienced it already, but I know my friend Arielle can personally vouch for the awkward aftermath that can occur when clinging on to an ex’s family. Arielle was in a situation where she stayed in contact with most of her former headache’s family and friends. She had gotten extremely close to his people while they were together, so it was a natural thing for her to keep in touch with them although Jahmir had ripped her little heart to pieces.

Well, after months of being Jah Jah-free, Arielle began to slowly distance herself from his family, too. Because not only would she bump into him while visiting his parents from time-to-time, but she felt like too many of his people were trying to pressure her to get back with him. It was always, “My son is not perfect Arielle, but no man is. He’s made his mistakes but I’ve never seen him love a woman the way he loves you.” Mix the constant attempts at persuasion from his mother with other little nuisances like his brothers trying to set her up to be in the same place with Jahmir at the same time, and you’ve got the perfect pot of “hell naw!”

In Arielle’s case, there was absolutely NO WAY she was going back to Jah Jah, so she decided it was best to separate herself from his pushy family as well. Although Arielle’s attempt to keep it cute with the fam’ didn’t work out so well, I do know of other instances where remaining friends with the family has turned out good, even with not-so-good separations.

But what are your thoughts readers? Should you remain friends with your ex’s family?

Tichina Arnold Announces Divorce

January 15th, 2016 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Splash News

Splash News

Tichina Arnold will be divorcing her husband of three years, People reports.

A spokesperson for the “Survivor’s Remorse” actress dropped the bomb Friday that Arnold and St. Johns University basketball coach Rico Hines would be ending their marriage. While the representative did not offer further details, it is being reported that infidelity is what pushed Arnold to take action.

TMZ is reporting that Arnold discovered a sex tape featuring Hines with another woman.

“It’s over between Rico and I. This is where I part ways and all bets are off,” she reportedly told friends and relatives in a group text in which she also shared the video.

And according to reports, the tape is only the tip of the iceberg. Sources claim that Hines has been unfaithful with at least 20 women—some with whom he had unprotected sex.

“I can’t for the life of me understand why Rico would video himself f—ing ‘raw dog’ ONE of his MANY extraneous whores that ‘trick’ on him for his money,” she reportedly vented in the text.

Sources also claim that Arnold is deeply concerned about sexually transmitted diseases and has plans to get tested. While it is confirmed that the “Martin” actress does want out of the marriage, her spokesperson would not speak on the cheating rumors, neither would Hines.

“This is a private and deeply personal matter between my wife and me, and I do not want to comment any further at this time,” Hines told TMZ.

Arnold and Hines tied the knot in 2012 in a Hawaiian wedding ceremony.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

A Company Is Offering To Pay For Your Wedding Under One Condition

December 18th, 2015 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Shutterstock

If complete strangers offered $10,000 to pay for your wedding, would you take it? What if there were strings?

That’s the exact kind of deal that a startup company called Swanluv is offering to couples who intend to tie the knot within a couple of years.

How it works:

Couples submit an application requesting the funds online. If approved, they’re required to sign a wedding fund agreement, and they receive the money.

The catch:

Should you and your sweetie divorce, you’ll be required to pay back the borrowed money plus the interest that has accrued over time. The money paid back to Swanluv by divorced couples will be used to fund the weddings of engaged couples are who new applicants to the program.

According to their website, the program is completely free for couples who stay married.

Of course, the company has been accused of trying to profit from America’s sucky divorce rate; however, they insist that this isn’t true. Instead, they say that they believe in love and want “to keep the dream alive.”

Swanluv insists that they don’t profit from the divorces in any way, adding that they make their money from advertising partnerships.

“100% of the money collected from members who are later divorced is used to provide funds for future couples’ dream weddings. Swanluv keeps the dream alive,” the website reads. ‘

While tempting, I don’t believe that I could bring myself to sign a contract like this. What about you?

Holidaze: 5 Things To Avoid When Your Ex Is Stressing You During The Holidays

December 18th, 2015 - By Chuck Creekmur
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Lets face it, we all have ex’s that are batpoop crazy, for any number of reasons. Some of them are legitimately mentally unstable. Others are scorned, broken and vindictive. And many of them are simply sleeping in a bed harder than the one with you.

So, with it being the holiday season, it is only getting worse. Families are fragmented. People are lonely and cold. Bae might be a memory. Hell, those support payments may have dried up. Whatever the reason, you are the object of their intense loathing.

Here are five things I think it makes sense to avoid when your ex is stressing you during the holidays:

1. For whatever reason, your ex likes to lure you into drama. The reasons are oftentimes unknown. Perhaps they want you back and are secretly vying for your attention. Maybe they’re upset you moved on. Maybe, just maybe they find meaning in life when you give them some attention – any attention.

Don’t fall for it. Getting into arguments with a drama-challenged individual does nothing for you. Sure, you could blast them or cuss them out, but then they would have a “war story” to tell everybody on social media. On top of that, your day is ruined. Hell, if you are in Florida, they may be able to kill you based on the “Stand Your Ground” feeling of being threatened.

2. Whatever you do, DON’T BASH THEM IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS. The kids are smarter than you will ever know. They know your ex is crazy However, it is not up to you to tell them unless they are somehow endangering the child’s welfare. However, that person that’s attempting to drive you out of your mind is still your kid’s mother or father. The kids most likely love them despite their mania.

3. Do not assume anything is past them. Let me tell you, a scorned man or woman is capable of just about anything. They might call the police on something trivial or accuse you of domestic violence. They may show up to your house unannounced, probing for another lover. They may even steal the child’s house key to your home and just…go in. Yes, they are a pesky bunch. I can tell you from experience, they will lie to police, deceive family members and even believe their own lies. Even the children are not off limits.

4. Do not let them go on and on and on without checking them. Somebody has to say something some time or the little scorned ex is going to continue to do whatever they feel they can get away with. There are a number of ways to deal with it, but I do not recommend you give a sketchy dude a bag of money and an address. Write it all down, save messages and if you feel threatened, contact the proper authorities.

5. Here is something to do, rather than not. Pray for their safe return to sanity. Certainly, prayer works. However, it only works if we work. Or if they work. Either way, there are simply some things that are out of your control. Bring the kids into the prayers too, because they know more than you realize.

Happy Kwanzaa!

Brittney Griner’s Divorce Halted By Paternity Dispute

December 16th, 2015 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Instagram

Brittney Griner’s divorce proceedings have lasted longer than her actual marriage, and it appears that, even now, it may be a while before things are finalized. According to our sister site, Bossip, the estranged couple’s divorce is currently at a standstill due to a paternity dispute.

As previously reported, Griner’s wife, Glory Johnson, announced her pregnancy hours before news broke that Griner filed for an annulment. In October, she gave birth to twin girls prematurely. The infants remain in a Tennessee hospital. Griner is seeking to evade parental responsibility of the children, claiming that while she participated in the initial stages IVF process, she was not made aware when the embryos were transferred to Johnson’s uterus. In the divorce petition, Griner argued that she’d been coerced into the entire thing.

Johnson’s attorneys will be required to turn over her medical records from the fertility clinic. From there, the courts will determine how they will proceed regarding this issue and whether or not this case should go to trial. The case will be revisited by a judge next month.

Griner and Johnson married in May 2015 just days after a domestic violence incident that resulted in their arrests. Griner filed for an annulment in June. Her request, however, was denied.

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Serious Question: Do You Judge People Who Date Before The Divorce Is Final?

December 14th, 2015 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Bravo TV

Bravo TV

Phaedra Parks appeared on Sunday night’s episode of “Watch What Happens Live” alongside Patti LaBelle. During the show, a fan asked the soon-to-be divorced mother of two whether or not she plans to begin dating again in the near future. The “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star’s answer was simple: yes, but only after the divorce is final.

“Um, when I get divorced,” Parks, whose divorce is “in process,” said before flashing her wedding ring. “I’m still married.”

LaBelle and Parks’ mother, Pastor Regina Bell, who also appeared on the episode, applauded the reality star for that decision. The matriarchs in my family would certainly echo this sentiment if they were in on the conversation. They maintain a pretty solid stance when it comes dating married folk—even if those married folk are in the process of getting divorced.

“No matter how you slice it up, it’s adultery in the eyes of God,” is what they would say if they were a part of that discussion.

Being young and having zero relationship experience and minimal life experience of my own, I didn’t bother establishing my own opinions on the topic. I adopted the stance of my relatives, which seemingly stems from the Bible, without ever really putting much thought into it. But after spending a hot two minutes in the real world, my feelings began to sway, slightly. I got to know a beautiful couple; they’ve been in a loving and happy relationship for about ten years. Both are close to 50 years of age and the man is still married to a woman he tied the knot with in his 20s. His explanation for still being married: his estranged wife won’t grant him a divorce. She lives on the other side of the country, and they split long before he met his current partner, whom he wishes to marry but can’t until things are settled with his ex. I couldn’t imagine anyone looking down on them because of their situation. But perhaps it’s because I know and love them.

While I could certainly see how getting romantically involved with a person while you’re still technically married to someone else could get pretty messy, is it old-fashioned to expect people to wait until the state recognizes that their marriage is over before they try dating again?

Noirettes, please weigh in.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon Are Just Like Us: Co-Parenting Through The Holidays

December 7th, 2015 - By Kweli Wright
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Instagram

This year will mark the first Christmas Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon celebrate after divorcing. And like some moms and dads, that doesn’t mean they’ll set aside their family traditions.

The singer recently sat down with E News! while promoting her new children’s book “All I Want for Christmas” in New York, and opened up about their plans for the holidays.

Mariah says the twins, Monroe and Moroccan, have already written their letters to Santa. “Santa Claus comes every year and real reindeer are there, of course, as well. [We have] too many traditions to name! We go on a two-horse open sleigh and spend Christmas in Aspen usually so I can have a white Christmas, so it’s really nice,” she explained.

As far as how she and Nick plan to co-parent through the special time of year, she says, “I think we’re all just learning as we go. We’re doing the best we can, and it’s all about the kids. That’s it!”

Nick reciprocated her same thoughts in an interview with Howard Stern recently, expressing his happiness over her new relationship with James Packer. “That’s awesome, isn’t it? It happened a lot faster than you thought,” he told Stern who confessed he thought it was all a little bit fast. However, Nick promised he’s just glad to see her doing well. “As long as she’s happy and my children are happy.”

Nick says family comes first. “[I see them] all the time! We’re in the same city together,” he explained. “My house is more in the suburbs, and they’re in the city. We hang out all the time.”

He added, “You know what’s really cool, and I love this, and my daughter will be like, ‘I don’t want to sleep here! I want to go sleep at my other house.’ So we’ll just put her in the car and drive her to Mom’s house. Like even Thanksgiving, it was really cool because we all had Thanksgiving together…At the end of the night my son was like, ‘Yo! I want to go with you!’ And my daughter was like, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow! Come pick me up in the morning.’ So we had a boys night!”

No Drama: What My Children Taught Me About Divorce

December 1st, 2015 - By MommyNoire Editor
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Sometimes the biggest lessons in life come from the littlest people. At a “staggering” five feet tall, I suppose that I would technically be considered one of those little people, but for clarification’s sake, let me just start by saying that the little people I’m talking about here are children– my children. And in this case, that lesson was about divorce.

From the moment my ex and I decided to separate, I obsessed over how we were going to break the news to the kids. When we’d do it. How we’d do it. The first thing we decided was that it was going to me and not we doing the talking. Not necessarily because I’m better at these things than he is…. No, that was it. I’m just better at these things than he is. And I imagined that if it were both of us, it would be this Huxtable-style family meeting that we’d go into with good intentions, but come out with four children forever traumatized by the sight of all of us sitting in a circle with our tacky sweaters and Jell-O pudding pops, crying.

That was my view of it. But the truth is that growing up, I never had to go through anything remotely close to this, and I couldn’t even imagine what it was going to be like for the kids; how much their lives were going to change from the instant we said the words: “We’re getting a divorce….” The years of therapy they’d spend talking to a psychologist about how I’m the root of all of their problems in life (which will likely happen divorce or no divorce).

For days I cried, and cried…and then cried some more. I stressed, and stressed…and then stressed some more; because I knew that however I did it, this was something they’d remember for the rest of their lives.

Because I was dealing with two older children and two younger ones, I thought it would be best to tell them at different times so I could handle two different kinds of questions that I knew I probably wasn’t going to be able to answer the right way anyway.

I talked to the older kids first.

I walked down the hallway to my oldest’s bedroom where the two were playing video games (a rare moment where they were actually getting along). I stood in the doorway and asked them to pause the Xbox for a minute.

Not giving myself the chance to back out, I blurted, “We’re getting a divorce,” and I braced myself for the tears and the screams of “Why God? Why?” Because after all, they are my children and they have my tendency to be a little on the dramatic side. There weren’t any tears though. It was just quiet. I thought that maybe they were expecting me to say something else. So I did.

“It just wasn’t working out,” I said. “So your dad’s gonna be moving into his own apartment.”

More silence.

“We’re still friends though!” I rushed to add. I thought it was important that among all things, they knew that.

I waited for them to respond. They both stared at me, and then the younger one finally spoke.

“Can we un-pause the game now?”

It definitely wasn’t the question I was expecting, but I was relieved that at least it was one that I could answer.

“I guess. Go ahead,” I told them. “Just don’t say anything to the little ones. I haven’t talked to them about it yet.” By that time they were already mesmerized by Madden again.

I didn’t chalk that one up as a success for me, but I was glad it was out of the way. The only problem was that I knew the two younger children were next.

I waited a couple of days to talk to them. In part because I needed to give myself a mental break, but I also wanted to wait for the weekend when I’d have more time with them to dry their tears and help them process all of their emotions; even though I hadn’t been very good at processing my own.

Once again I walked down that hallway not knowing what to expect after I said those words.

I can’t say that I even remember what came out of my mouth to start the conversation, but I’m sure that whatever it was, it probably wasn’t the best thing that could’ve been said at the time. The important thing was that I said it. It was out there.

“What does divorce mean?” my daughter asked.

“It means that mommy and daddy won’t be married anymore.”

“Do you have a boyfriend? Because I don’t want two moms and two dads.” That was my son; always one to cut the crap and get straight to the matter at hand.

“Nobody is getting married again right away. You don’t need to worry about that right now,” I assured him. But what I needed was someone to assure me, because all of a sudden I was freaking out on the inside, terrified at the thought of being replaced.We talked a little about how daddy and mommy were still friends; how they’d still see him all of the time and other important things that I can’t quite recall.

I do remember, however, that there weren’t any tears. No “Why God? Why’s.”

There was only one more question: “What’s for dinner?” Dinner. All of this going on and they wanted to know about dinner.

Did I do it wrong or something? Should I have made it out to be a bigger deal than I did? And what is for dinner? Later, as I was cooking, I thought about it all over and over again.

Why weren’t they broken up about this like I was? Why didn’t they have all the questions that I had?

I’d like to think that a large part of it was that I might have actually done something right. But I think there was also something those little people knew that I hadn’t yet figured out. In all of my obsessing over what went wrong in the marriage and whose fault it was, I didn’t realize that I couldn’t spend my time dwelling on things. It happened. We got a divorce. But life goes on.

Madden has to be played. Dinner has to be made.

As the days have gone by, there have been questions. I know there will probably be many more. And it’s likely that I may not always have the answers. But that’s okay. We’ll get through it. We’ve made it this far, and we’ll go even further as we live our lives. And as for whether I did it wrong or not– only time and their therapy bills will tell.