All Articles Tagged "abstinence"
Weeks after Russell Wilson revealed to an audience at San Diego’s The Rock Church that he and new girlfriend, Ciara, have taken sex off of the table in their relationship, the “I Bet” singer is speaking out. According to Cici, they are planning to go all the way with their decision by abstaining until marriage.
“It’s until the deal is sealed. Absolutely!” she told Access Hollywood.
Ciara adds that their decision to withhold sex is difficult, but they’ve managed to keep each other strong.
“I think both of us look at each other, and we’re like – whew! But we take it one day at a time and keep it going with each other, and I’m really enjoying every day that we’re sharing.”
The single mom went on to say that she was okay with Russell sharing their decision publicly.
“It was an organic thing for him and I think he was just being honest about where we are,” Ciara said.
Good for them! We’re wishing these two the best.
In the world we live in today, we watch and laugh at Mimi and Nikko’s shower rod sex tape, listen to Ray J’s “I Hit It First,” and turn up to club bangers that acknowledge knocking a woman’s anatomy out like “fight night.” So when I heard the negative reactions to Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson sharing that he and girlfriend Ciara are abstaining from sex, I was shocked. When did abstinence become so taboo?
The tweets and click bait headlines flooded my Twitter timeline at a moment’s notice before I could even watch the video in its entirety on Sunday afternoon. Demeaning comments sprinkled in with a few words of encouragement and admiration for his statements gave me a foul feeling in the pit of my stomach. Isn’t practicing abstinence a good thing? I finally watched the nearly hour-long Q&A with Pastor Miles McPherson. As I listened intently, I asked myself, “How could people act so harsh towards a young, devout Christian man standing in his truth?” I was utterly perplexed. My own generation’s reactions covered a spectrum of commentary ranging from ignorant to enlightened, but mostly mockery, which revealed their apparent lack of self-awareness.
While many criticized Wilson for his comments, I commend him for putting his relationship with God first. In case you missed it, here’s what he shared with Pastor McPherson:
“I met this girl named Ciara who was the most beautiful woman in the world, the most kind person, the most engaging person, everything that I could ever want. She was on tour and I was looking at her in the mirror, and she was sitting there. And God spoke to me and said ‘I need you to lead her.’ And I was like, ‘Really? Right now?’ And he goes, ‘No, I want you and need you to lead her.’ And I asked her, ‘What would you do if we took all that extra stuff off the table? And just did it Jesus’ way?’”
His honesty and fearlessness to divulge his love for Ciara through his outspoken love for Christ was touching:
“For me, I knew that God had brought me in her life to bless her and for her to bless me. We’re not going to be perfect, by any means. But he’s anointed both of us and he’s calling for us to do something special.”
Honestly, if the tables were turned in this situation and this was a 26-year-old woman saying that she was practicing abstinence, I believe people’s reactions would have been different. Once again, clashing gender roles of what make a male masculine and what makes a woman feminine (and ladylike) come into play. Truthfully, there aren’t many guys who would have had the guts to admit that they are abstaining from sex in fear of being judged. And I’m sure there are guys saying that Wilson is soft because he isn’t trying to sleep with one of the hottest chicks in the game right now. But clearly, Wilson is confident within himself, God and Ciara to have even shared such information, knowing the scrutiny he may face afterward.
I can’t remember the last time myself or any of my friends were involved with or dating a guy who was genuinely in touch with his spirit so much that he didn’t think with his male member. Come on ladies, we’ve all been there when it’s only the second or third date and a guy thinks he’s getting some. Like always, the look on our faces reads pure disgust. But when a man who is mature enough to respect a woman does so and wishes to share his choices with others, he’s shamed. For some, abstinence isn’t a part of their vocabulary while others abide by it, and as with all things, everyone has the right to express themselves. But why are we bashing a man for admitting that he isn’t interested in his girlfriend just for the sex? Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?
We are bombarded with pop-culture gossip 24/7. From Tyga allegedly getting caught red-handed sending out nude pics and being accused of cheating on his under-aged girlfriend, to the ubiquitous Draya Michele and Orlando Scandrick drama, so little is left to the imagination. But somehow, for me, out of all the stories, the Ciara and Russell Wilson celibacy headlines felt like an embarrassing intrusion.
The public can be hard on Ciara and I never really understood why. She is undeniably an amazing dancer, she’s beautiful, and she seems genuinely sweet, if not a tad bit shy as far as pop stars go. She dated Bow Wow and 50 Cent and went through a very rocky relationship with Future, which left many calling her a big dummy for choosing him. Echoes of her intimate missteps can be heard from many gossip blogs and Twitter timelines: “He got 5 baby mamas. Why would she think she was gon’ change him?” “Why did she name her child after him?” “Bow Wow, for real? lol”
What did Ciara ever do to deserve such vitriol from the public?
She fell in love. Few among us can say that we haven’t fallen for a person who was 100% unequivocally the worst for us at a given time. Chances are you may have even fallen in love with a couple of bad seeds. So why is Ciara always being dragged within an inch of her life for it? Sure, she should’ve known better given the track records of her exes, but “should’ve known betters” usually occur with the gift of hindsight. We can’t choose who we love or don’t love.
But we can choose what information we share with the public. Would people be nicer to Ciara if she had tried to keep her relationship with Future on the low? Does an attempt at privacy garner our respect nowadays? For me it does. That is why I felt some type of way when I came across the headline, “Ciara and Russell Wilson Aren’t Having Sex.”
The story contained a viral clip of Wilson talking with Pastor Miles McPherson about his faith and his lady.
“I met this girl named Ciara, who is the most beautiful woman in the world…She’s the most kind person, the most engaging person…I knew that God brought me into her life to bless her.”
Did she know he was going to put their private sexual decision on blast? Did she feel pressured into this? What happens if this doesn’t work out? I think I’d feel differently if she were next to him and they divulged this information together…
Seriously though, why did this information need to be shared? It was none of our business until they made it our business.
Being celibate in this day and age is deemed equal parts noble and naïve. I’ve always felt that it is supposed to be an intimate commitment between two people who made such a vow together. But over the years, it’s been used as a means to get attention. I thought it was an unbecoming publicity stunt when the Jonas Brothers showed off their promise rings years ago, but that was only the tip of the exploitation-for-public-image iceberg. Publicity-wise, abstinence and celibacy are having a terrible month. Bristol Palin, the literal poster child for abstinence a few years ago, and a woman who said she was going to be celibate after having her son, has done her damnedest to make a joke of the entire thing. She’s not the first, nor the last to do so.
Look, I can understand why two Christian adults with a few troubled relationships in their rear views might try to be celibate, but the public proclamation before the relationship has really collected steam just doesn’t sit right with me.
We live in a transparent time. The Internet allows us to peer in and out of situations that we wouldn’t be privy to a decade ago. We want to know now, and we want to know everything. Some people have dodged many public bullets. With the exception of hackers making celeb nudes public and the occasional video vixen tell-all book, some celebs are able to keep their bedroom secrets to themselves.
There is beauty in a celebrity’s ability to control their public narrative. I love that we only knew what Beyoncé’s wedding dress looked like when she and Jay wanted us to know. I love when celebrities can get married or have a baby without a headline popping up about it until much later. Heck, Janet Jackson is easily one of the biggest stars in the world, and she had an almost decade-long marriage and we didn’t know much about it until it was over. I love Rihanna. As outgoing and active on social media as she is, I don’t know what’s happening in her bedroom. There’s wild speculation, of course, but she isn’t saying a damn thing about any of her purported conquests. She seems as open and carefree as possible in her unique positions (it’s definitely a part of her narrative), but she does manage to keep some things to herself. I applaud that. These people prove that discretion is possible.
I do not think that because of their fame, we the people deserve complete and total access. But when they make the access possible, it gives us the validation to pass harsh judgment loudly with little moral consequence.
While discretion may breed speculation, exposing everything about yourself offers the public an invitation. For some, this may be a good thing as many deem any publicity to be good publicity, but for others it damages your public perception. I root for Ciara. I want her to be happy and if being celibate with Russell Wilson is it, then good for her. I genuinely wish her well. But in the meantime, I will continue to yearn for the time when stars were a little more cautious about what they shared with the world.
You can run, but you can’t hide. There seems to be no escape from it. It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s sex!
Sex! Sex! Sex! It’s everywhere you turn, on billboards, in movies, in music (and in music videos); and if I see another viral YouTube video of animals humping I’m going to scream! We are truly living in an oversexed and over-twerked society.
But there are a few of us still meandering around the universe who remain untouched and free from penetration. To put it plain and simple, we are the virgins of the world (cue dramatic sound effect, “bum bum buuuuuum!”). According to the Center For Disease Control’s Health Statistics Report, four percent of the population here in the United States are, in fact, virgins. Since Millennials (men and women born between 1980-2000) are now the largest generation in the United States, and those born at the beginning of this generation are in their early to mid-thirties, it is safe to say that of that four percent, quite a few of those virgins are in their thirties.
The Dirty Thirty. It’s an age where your concept of what being old is has changed because you are now at the age you once thought was on the precipice of old. You are finally making strides in your career while your student loan payments are devouring your income. You are getting a grasp on your life goals and have set a plan in motion to achieve them. The idea of becoming a responsible adult begins to set in, and the pressure of settling down becomes a reality. With all of the adulthood responsibilities your thirties bring, a few women have added “maintaining abstinence” to their list.
Erica, 34, and Jasmine, 32, are both virgins. Erica and Jasmine have obtained graduate level degrees and have successfully advanced in their careers. I must admit I have known these women for quite some time and didn’t even realize that they’ve never had sex. This confidentiality is mainly because many virgins don’t discuss their virginity with people. Erica says, “The only discomfort I have is sharing the information sometimes. In the past, people got weird when I told them I was a virgin, so I stopped sharing. Interestingly, people like to tell me their sexual history, which I’m okay with, but at times; they talk, I listen.”
Jasmine feels the same way. As she puts it, “I’ve been in situations where I’ll be talking with a group of friends and the conversation turns to sex and people share their experiences. I don’t have any so I’ll be quiet. If it’s at a party or something, I may excuse myself.”
Both women made their decision to remain virgins early in life and want to have something to give to their future husband after saying “I do.” Erica says that she made this decision after watching the way sex affected the lives of those around her when she was young:
“I originally decided that I wanted to wait until I was married when I was in high school. I saw too many people making risky, and life-altering decisions based on sex, not realizing the full consequences of their actions until it was too late. I felt like I had a better chance of having a future if I waited. So I made a private commitment to God that I would wait. No one made me do it. Nothing formal. Just a prayer. I’ve decided to remain a virgin because now I know that the person that I share myself with is going to be someone that will be a part of my life forever. With such a strong connection as that, I want that person to remain in my life and be welcomed in it. I want that person to be my husband.”
Jasmine’s decision originated from what she learned growing up in the church:
“I was raised in the church and was taught that sexual intercourse was reserved for marriage. Over time, I took more ownership of it. I didn’t just stay a virgin because I was told to, but I stayed because I wanted to reserve myself for my husband. I thought This guy is going to be the love of my life, of course, I’d want him to have what no one else has had. It became a personal choice for me.”
Shakia, 27, is the founder of the Bare.Bold&Beautiful Movement and author of an upcoming book that focuses on her decision to be a virgin, as well as the journey of nine other women who have made a similar decision.
“I decided to write my book on my abstinence experience when people were continually shocked that I was a virgin. People’s first response after being informed that I’m a virgin is usually, ‘No you’re not,’ justifying their claim by pointing out the way I dress or my outgoing attitude. Then there are people who are confused and ask, ‘But why? You’re pretty’ as if every virgin is a virgin because no one desires them. I began to realize that my look and attitude did not fit the idea of a virgin that many had. So, I decided to share my journey and give a new face, dress and attitude to the virgin. As readers are invited on my journey of abstinence they will realize that I have had plenty of guys who were willing to introduce me to the pleasures of sex and that I have even had to suppress my own urges when my body’s desires were not aligned with my decision. I want to make it clear that there are women and men who are adult virgins not because we are not desired by the opposite sex, but for reasons that all drive the choice that we have made.”
But despite all the shock, confusion, and the lack of support for this major decision at times, many virgins can find and thrive in relationships with people who applaud and respect their choice. Jasmine, who is currently in a serious relationship, is lucky enough to have that in her life.
“I am currently in a relationship. He, like most guys I’ve talked to in the past, was a bit shocked, but he thinks it is a very good decision. He said right after I told him, ‘You are the smartest woman I know.’ With him, I don’t feel any pressure. He’s also marriage minded. We’ve talked about having sex, and he is fine with waiting until the wedding night. He actually keeps me on track.”
I, too, am like these women. I have decided to maintain my virginity until I get married. And though sharing this gift with my future husband is ideal, my decision to wait has more to do with the gift I have chosen to give myself. We all have been given one life to live and the personal choices we make shape the very essence of our lives. We virgins of the world, the four percent, are taking ownership of our bodies, our options and standing by what makes us happy (and our values) in a world where sex is everywhere and in everything.
Normally these two things wouldn't go together but when you're breaking the code you gotta get down to the nitty gritty. Check out what MadameNoire's editors and the fellas of Guy Code had to say about the rules of dating while abstinent versus the rules of sliding up in the booty with your sexual partner. Watch and weigh in.
Mothers and big sisters are usually the first ones to tell their daughters about sex, which can be a good thing and a bad thing. As sensitive a subject as sex is, loved ones should definitely be the first ones to tell adolescents about it. However, our own biases and lack of knowledge can also taint impressionable youths’ vision of sexuality and reproductive health. So in the interest of not leading young girls astray, here are a few things we must stop telling them about sex.
1. Good girls don’t have sex!
Abstinence is great and we all wish that our girls practiced it, but in reality that’s just not the case. So why turn a blind eye to the situation? It only adds to the problem. We need to equip our girls with the truth so they can not only protect themselves but embrace and own their sexuality.
When we categorize sex as something that only bad girls do, we subconsciously send the message that “good” girls should not enjoy sex. The challenge this creates is that as our “good” girls grow up and become women who get married, and still are harboring the “good girls don’t” stigma. As a result, they are less likely to experience sexual pleasure with their partner; which can ultimately contribute to significant problems in their relationship. In addition, many girls who grow up with this belief may suffer from sexual dysfunction which may have been prevented if they grew up with a healthy view of sexuality.
2. Douching helps keep the vagina clean and healthy.
For years women have been told to douche in order to feel fresher, cleanse their vagina and keep it smelling spring time fresh. This belief has been passed down throughout generations and still remains a common practice today. The only reason we are still caught up in the belief that douching is relevant is because the media and companies like Vagisil and Massengill have a product to market and sell. It is their job to make us to believe that the vagina is dirty and nasty and in order to feel good about yourself and your vagina you need to use these products that will help the vagina smell like flowers. Having some vaginal odor and discharge is natural. However, if you notice a very strong or foul odor and/or a funny color discharge, it may be a sign of infection.
In recent years, many studies have shown that douching can actually be very harmful to the internal environment of the vagina. Douching can actually have adverse effects on the vagina by washing away healthy bacteria and pushing harmful bacteria further up into the vaginal canal. This can create an imbalance in the internal environment and make it much easier to get an infection.
The vagina is actually designed to cleanse itself. Washing the vagina with warm water is enough to keep it clean. Using perfumed bath and body products only irritate the sensitive lining of the vagina as well as the inner and outer delicate folds of the vulva, the labia minora and labia majoria. Utilize caution when using a face towel or luffa on the vulva, especially as they dry, because they can carry bacteria that may be harmful to the vulva as well. If you must use a soap, then stick to using a non-scented, alcohol-free soap only on the outside of the vulva area.
3. It’s not okay to call your vagina a vagina.
Vajayjay, twat, slit, p*ssy, beaver, kitty, punany, coota mama, coochie, black box, deep hole, down there, titties, watermelon, twins, boobs, and jugs are just a few of the slang names that we use when referring to our body parts. When you stop to think about it, many of these names are not cute at all! They are down right negative and derogatory. They send the wrong message about the female body. Not only that, some of these words are very uncomfortable to hear. When we teach our girls to use cutesy names instead of using the correct terminology for body parts and functions, it takes away the value. When we devalue something, we do not respect it and take care of it. This lack of respect or value of their body places girls at risk for sexually transmitted infections, HIV and pregnancy because they don’t value their body enough to protect it.
Using slang terms also limits girls’ ability to have an educated and informed conversation with their physician. Many physicians are not culturally competent. They do not understand the vernacular and slang terms that are sometimes used when referring to body parts and functions. This lack of understanding can lead to not receiving necessary treatment or appropriate quality of care. The bottom line is that if the physician cannot understand you, then how can s/he help you.
4. Don’t touch your body.
It’s important that we teach our girls that it’s OK to touch their bodies — after all they’re theirs. They must learn the body parts and functions, they must learn how to properly take care of their body, and they must learn what’s natural and healthy for their body. Teaching our girls not to touch their body only sends the message that their body parts and functions are something that is unnatural and nasty. It perpetuates stigma and helps create shame and guilt regarding the body. This negative view will ultimately contribute to unhealthy ideals about sexuality.
In order to fully discover, explore, and embrace their sexuality, girls must become intimately acquainted with their body. It’s essential to having power over of their sexuality and that begins by being comfortable enough to explore their body. Additionally it helps lay the foundation for learning to understand, respect and communicate sexual attitudes, beliefs, needs, wants and concerns, not only to their physicians but their future partners.
Lastly, by teaching girls to love and honor their bodies, it helps reduce body image issues and self-esteem challenges. Girls and women who love, respect and value their body are less likely to put themselves at risk.
In a day in age where sex sells everything from diapers to dog food and the media bombards us with oversexualized images of scantily clad women, we can’t afford to remain silent about sex. The danger of not talking to girls about their sexuality is that it doesn’t prepare them for becoming young women. Many adult women have shared horror stories about beginning their menstrual cycle and not having a clue about what was going on or how to take care of themselves. Imagine how terrifying that could be to a girl who has not been educated about her body.
Avoiding conversations about sex does not mean that girls aren’t going to do it. It only means that they are going to sneak and do it. We were created as sexual beings and we will be sexual beings until we die. Sex is a natural part of life. It’s who we are! It encompasses every dimension of our lives. The urge and desire to have sex does not go away. Not properly educating our girls with the knowledge, skills and tools is only creating a recipe for disaster. Ultimately, they will learn the information from somewhere and in most cases what they are learning is not accurate.
When should you start talking to girls about sex….as soon as they start asking questions. Everything should be done in a developmentally appropriate way. Be open and honest. Allow them to ask questions. If you don’t have the answers, find them! Also, please talk to them about all aspects of sexuality, not just about the physical aspects of sex. It’s important to make sure girls understand the emotional, spiritual, social, legal and economic repercussions of having sex. And while education about sex is great, you also need to take it a step further and teach them the skills. It’s great to say “use a condom” but if you don’t teach them the proper steps to use the condom, where to get the condom and how to negotiate safer sex, then it’s useless.
To all the men out there, please also talk to your daughters! Have a no-holds-barred conversation with her from the male perspective on sex and sexuality. Educate them on the qualities and characteristics men look for in a woman he is serious about. Take your daughters out on a date! Become the standard of what she should look forward to from a man by demonstrating how a man should respect and treat a woman. Your actions will make the difference in the type of relationships and behaviors she engages in. It just might save her life!
While I do understand that having conversations about sex can be very uncomfortable, they are critical. If you are uninformed or uncomfortable talking about sex, then seek out the assistance of someone who is professionally qualified to have the conversation.
Dr. TaMara loves nothing more than talking about sex! At the age of 13, she told her mother she wanted to be a Sex Therapist! Her passion is deeply rooted in spreading messages about healthy sexuality. Dr. TaMara is a sexologist, sex therapist, educator and motivational speaker with more than 20 years of experience speaking, writing and teaching about sexuality. She travels the country helping individuals embrace and honor their sexuality. Dr. TaMara has published numerous books and articles. She is the owner of L.I.F.E. by Dr. TaMara Griffin Live Inspired Feel Empowered LLC-LIFE Follow her on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, www.drtamaragriffin.com or www.projectcreatesafe.com.
Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin have been quite vocal about their decision to postpone sexual activity until after they exchanged vows. Now, the couple is ready to share with the world exactly how they were able to stay committed to such a difficult vow through their upcoming book, “The Wait.”
“We’re writing a book called ‘The Wait,'” Meagan recently told Jimmy Kimmel. “It’s basically about, well, we waited to have sex before we got married.”
Of course, Jimmy was intrigued by the “Think Like A Man Too” actress’s discipline in that area and wanted to know more.
“I had been in a couple of relationships and I was like, ‘You know, this isn’t really working for me.’ I wanted to do something different and spiritually, it’s what I believe I always should’ve done. So I was like, you know, let’s try it this way. It was very different and it’s been amazing.”
In “The Wait,” Meagan says readers will learn about all of the techniques and tricks that she and DeVon used to keep from hopping in the sack before their wedding night.
“Obviously, we all know that it’s tough, but there were tricks that we learned that actually helped.”
Among the techniques they used was knowing when to say goodnight.
“One of the tricks was knowing when to part ways. You know, if you feel it’s getting too hot and heavy and you just have to go.”
She also shared a hilarious story from their wedding day where it seemed like the ceremony was being prolonged and of course, they were eager to finally consummate.
“We wanted the wedding to be right when the sun went down. It was supposed to go down at like six or seven o’clock that evening and it didn’t. The sun was off schedule, which was really stressing me out. So we waited like an hour and a half, which worked out fine because I had a bridesmaid who didn’t show up until 20 minutes before we walked down.”
To add to the humor of the night, Meagan says that their decision to practice abstinence was a major highlight for everyone at the ceremony.
“That was like the topic of all the speeches,” Meagan explained. “It went really, really left. Needless to say, that was the topic of everybody’s speech.”
Watch Meagan’s interview below.
Hollywood “it” couple, Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin, are not the least bit shy when it comes to discussing their decision to practice patience in dating and wait for marriage. The happily married couple are now seeking to encourage others to embrace “the wait” in a new book that they are co-writing.
“It’s that waiting period where we really get the most anxiety and the most frustration, so we’re gonna be writing a book that will address that, and we believe it will be very helpful,” DeVon told Sister 2 Sister.
Though the book, which has been titled The Wait, will address waiting for true love, DeVon says that it will also address other crucial waiting periods in life.
“It’ll be called ‘The Wait.’ And it’s all about how you handle the waiting period in life… from the relationship wait to the marriage wait to the career wait.”
The Wait is set to hit bookshelves in 2014. We’re sure the book will offer tons of spiritual advice, since waiting on God seems to be the common message offered by the newlyweds.
“Keep God first. Make sure that the person you hook up with is someone that you feel in your spirit is right for you,” Meagan told HipHollywood over the summer. “Sometimes you think that you want somebody and then you find out that’s not what you really want and you’re stuck and you just gotta get out. So yes, seek God’s face on who you’re with.”
“Don’t do it for any other reason than love,” DeVon chimed in.
“Yes, because you are stuck with them… forever,” Meagan added.
So, will you be grabbing a copy of The Wait when it goes on sale next year?
Jazmine Denise is a celebrity news and entertainment blogger. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise.
It appears that more and more celebs are joining team celibacy. Yesterday we told that Single Ladies actress LisaRaye McCoy decided to practice celibacy after growing weary of running into shallow men who are only interested in her physical appearance. Ironically, during an interview with Hot 97, “Somebody Else” singer, Mario, revealed that he, too, decided to practice celibacy for a year. According to Mario, the experience was spirit strengthening.
“I was celibate for almost a year. It works. It strengthens your spirit. I mean more than anything, when you really start to understand the physical experience that we have as individuals, you understand that the spirit is way stronger than the physical but if you feed your physical more than [the mental], that’s going to dominate,” he shared.
“So, I experimented with that and it’s something that I really wanted to go to a higher level spiritually. I felt like it would affect my music differently. It would affect my career, my surroundings, the people, and it has,” he continued.
Would you ever practice celibacy?
LisaRaye McCoy is almost synonymous with sensuality and sex appeal, but for the first time in a long time, the former First Lady of Turks and Caicos says she’s refraining from engaging in sexual activity.
“I’m in a new place. I’ve tried everything but celibacy, and I really want to know what it feels like to be touched by someone with a mental touch and not a physical touch,” the 45-year-old knockout told CocoaFab while on the set of Single Ladies.
She went on to say that she ‘s waiting for God to bring a man in her life who she can be “mentally intimate” with.
“I want to know what it is to build the foundation of the friendship for real, to have my best friend and not because we’re just intimate, but because we’re mentally intimate. So I’m waiting for that person to come into my life. And when I get myself together, I know God is gonna bless me with that, because I don’t want to come with extra baggage. I’ll come with some, but it’s not fair to him to come with a whole bunch.”
If you’re wondering why the sudden enlightenment, the Chicago native says she sick of running into men who are caught up on her physical appearance.
“When men meet me, they’re in awe of the image. I’m so turned off by that. Automatically I’m like, ‘Boy move.’ You know what I mean? Baby, bye. Because now you’re not gonna give me a real chance because you’re like, ‘You do look good in person.’ It’s like, ‘OK. How many times can I say thank you? But you don’t know I can be a great friend? You don’t know I can cook. You don’t know that I’m a nurturer. You don’t know that I prefer to stay at home and watch a movie and pop my own popcorn. But because the image is the strong, confident woman that’s like, Bam! In your face. Ay, you ain’t giving me a chance automatically.’ So a lot of my guy friends I have to go: ‘A ha ha ha ha!’ the whole time. I can be a good friend. Hello!”
“So I want someone to know me, to learn me. I want to start dating the man that I’m gonna marry. I want to start having some fun with someone that I know I’m gonna be with. I don’t play any games. I’m too old for that. I’ve been there, I’ve been around the block. I’m cultured, I’ve done a lot of things. I’m famous. I have money. I am polished, you know what I mean? I am a woman and I need a man, not a boy. I don’t want to be a teacher. I’m not trying to be your mother, I want to be your significant other.”
We can’t say for sure if any of this was triggered by her rumored relationship with Bishop Noel Jones, who is preparing to star in Oxygen’s new reality show, Preachers of LA, but it wouldn’t be surprising. Either way, good for her!
Follow Jazmine on Twitter @jazminedenise.