All Articles Tagged "abstinence"
Hollywood “it” couple, Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin, are not the least bit shy when it comes to discussing their decision to practice patience in dating and wait for marriage. The happily married couple are now seeking to encourage others to embrace “the wait” in a new book that they are co-writing.
“It’s that waiting period where we really get the most anxiety and the most frustration, so we’re gonna be writing a book that will address that, and we believe it will be very helpful,” DeVon told Sister 2 Sister.
Though the book, which has been titled The Wait, will address waiting for true love, DeVon says that it will also address other crucial waiting periods in life.
“It’ll be called ‘The Wait.’ And it’s all about how you handle the waiting period in life… from the relationship wait to the marriage wait to the career wait.”
The Wait is set to hit bookshelves in 2014. We’re sure the book will offer tons of spiritual advice, since waiting on God seems to be the common message offered by the newlyweds.
“Keep God first. Make sure that the person you hook up with is someone that you feel in your spirit is right for you,” Meagan told HipHollywood over the summer. “Sometimes you think that you want somebody and then you find out that’s not what you really want and you’re stuck and you just gotta get out. So yes, seek God’s face on who you’re with.”
“Don’t do it for any other reason than love,” DeVon chimed in.
“Yes, because you are stuck with them… forever,” Meagan added.
So, will you be grabbing a copy of The Wait when it goes on sale next year?
Jazmine Denise is a celebrity news and entertainment blogger. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise.
It appears that more and more celebs are joining team celibacy. Yesterday we told that Single Ladies actress LisaRaye McCoy decided to practice celibacy after growing weary of running into shallow men who are only interested in her physical appearance. Ironically, during an interview with Hot 97, “Somebody Else” singer, Mario, revealed that he, too, decided to practice celibacy for a year. According to Mario, the experience was spirit strengthening.
“I was celibate for almost a year. It works. It strengthens your spirit. I mean more than anything, when you really start to understand the physical experience that we have as individuals, you understand that the spirit is way stronger than the physical but if you feed your physical more than [the mental], that’s going to dominate,” he shared.
“So, I experimented with that and it’s something that I really wanted to go to a higher level spiritually. I felt like it would affect my music differently. It would affect my career, my surroundings, the people, and it has,” he continued.
Would you ever practice celibacy?
LisaRaye McCoy is almost synonymous with sensuality and sex appeal, but for the first time in a long time, the former First Lady of Turks and Caicos says she’s refraining from engaging in sexual activity.
“I’m in a new place. I’ve tried everything but celibacy, and I really want to know what it feels like to be touched by someone with a mental touch and not a physical touch,” the 45-year-old knockout told CocoaFab while on the set of Single Ladies.
She went on to say that she ‘s waiting for God to bring a man in her life who she can be “mentally intimate” with.
“I want to know what it is to build the foundation of the friendship for real, to have my best friend and not because we’re just intimate, but because we’re mentally intimate. So I’m waiting for that person to come into my life. And when I get myself together, I know God is gonna bless me with that, because I don’t want to come with extra baggage. I’ll come with some, but it’s not fair to him to come with a whole bunch.”
If you’re wondering why the sudden enlightenment, the Chicago native says she sick of running into men who are caught up on her physical appearance.
“When men meet me, they’re in awe of the image. I’m so turned off by that. Automatically I’m like, ‘Boy move.’ You know what I mean? Baby, bye. Because now you’re not gonna give me a real chance because you’re like, ‘You do look good in person.’ It’s like, ‘OK. How many times can I say thank you? But you don’t know I can be a great friend? You don’t know I can cook. You don’t know that I’m a nurturer. You don’t know that I prefer to stay at home and watch a movie and pop my own popcorn. But because the image is the strong, confident woman that’s like, Bam! In your face. Ay, you ain’t giving me a chance automatically.’ So a lot of my guy friends I have to go: ‘A ha ha ha ha!’ the whole time. I can be a good friend. Hello!”
“So I want someone to know me, to learn me. I want to start dating the man that I’m gonna marry. I want to start having some fun with someone that I know I’m gonna be with. I don’t play any games. I’m too old for that. I’ve been there, I’ve been around the block. I’m cultured, I’ve done a lot of things. I’m famous. I have money. I am polished, you know what I mean? I am a woman and I need a man, not a boy. I don’t want to be a teacher. I’m not trying to be your mother, I want to be your significant other.”
We can’t say for sure if any of this was triggered by her rumored relationship with Bishop Noel Jones, who is preparing to star in Oxygen’s new reality show, Preachers of LA, but it wouldn’t be surprising. Either way, good for her!
Follow Jazmine on Twitter @jazminedenise.
By now, you’ve heard Wale’s song “BAD” and probably let your head sway along with that smooth chorus. But did you really catch the lyrics?
[Hook: Tiara Thomas]
Is it bad that I never made love, no I never did it.
But I sure know how to f#%k.
Hmm is that bad?
If you caught last week’s episode of “The Game,” you saw the shock on Brandy and Boss Lady’s face when Keira (Lauren London’s character) revealed that she was a virgin. A 25-year-old virgin was laughable. But why? Why wasn’t that admirable? Why was she encouraged to gon’ and give it up?
Why is having sex by the time you’re a certain age, whether you’re married or not, expected? I’m a 25-year-old virgin. Am I missing something? Or am I waiting for true love? I know that may sound corny, but what if we have a shallow view of our body’s worth? What if having sex without love is not all it’s cracked up to be? From every angle I’ve seen, including a few scenes of “Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta,” all sex before marriage seems to do is just complicate things. Then again, I don’t even have to go that far, I see what it’s done to friends and family members. We’re not just sexual beings, we have emotions and souls too. So, don’t all those elements get intertwined when one has sex? For women, it definitely seems so. And if not, if you say you are able to have sex without feelings, doesn’t that mean you are dehumanizing yourself to merely an object to please others and be pleased? Are you really okay with that? I’m not. And I don’t think any of us should be. I think we should want more. We should want to experience the giving of our precious bodies to another under a lasting covenant. Sure, marriages are failing left and right, but does that mean that our bodies are now less valuable as well?
I could say at least wait to make love, but even that is selling yourself short if that “love” is before marriage. Imagine a world that waited ’til marriage and kept their vows. Think about the pain that wouldn’t exist in so many hearts. All of my friends who have been sexually active and now are waiting and praying for God to send them a husband they can worship with (yes, worship is what they call it) tell me that I should be glad I’ve waited. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have desires just like the next person, but I also have to have boundaries. They may sound like rules and regulations, but sometimes boundaries prevent us from forsaking great for good enough. I’m sorry, but Joan’s three-month rule (Girlfriends) and Steve Harvey’s employee probationary allegory that also applied a 90-day rule, shouldn’t be enough for us. We’re not talking about a job here, our beautifully and fearfully made bodies are on the line.
Considering that I’m a virgin, I’m sure some would argue I don’t know any better. But what about someone who does — from experience? It just so happens that my best friend—an up and coming songwriter whose written for and with some accomplished artists and songwriters —has another way of looking at love and sex. In her remix of “Bad” Natalie Lauren asks, is it bad that I want to find love?
Anyone who has ever attempted to date while practicing abstinence can tell you that it’s not an easy task. Navigating through the dating world can be challenging enough, but making the life-changing decision to close the shop and hold out on the goods in some ways makes things even more complicated. Entrepreneur and founder of Blackcelibacy.com, Jeremy Billingsley, however, is seeking to make things a bit easier for abstinent singles with his new site. According to the company’s vision statement, the goal of the site is not only to connect celibate singles, but to dispel untruths and stereotypes placed on people who practice celibacy.
“At BlackCelibacy we are dispelling the antiquated notions about celibacy for Black Singles, such as celibate people are unattractive, celibate singles are scarred emotionally, or if you are celibate you can’t date. Black Celibate Singles and Black Singles are joining at an alarming rate and finding love. Black Singles practice Celibacy for a number of reasons, such as: Spiritual, Ethical, avoiding STD’s, Self Discipline, Self Discovery, or just simply trying to avoid Premature Relationships. BlackCelibacy is more than a dating site with a niche of celibacy for Black Singles. Our dating site connects with Black Singles from a Spiritual, Ethical, and Social stand point.”
During a recent interview with Essence.com, Billingsley revealed that he’d actually received inspiration for the site while listening to a sermon one Sunday.
“I was in church and the pastor was preaching about love and and he was really trying to direct the sermon to the singles there, and I though to myself, outside of the church there really aren’t that many places where celibate singles can go that embraces that lifestyle and meet others on the same accord as them. When like-minded singles can get together you’re going to get better results.”
He went on to say that the alarming percentage of Black children being born into single-parent homes and people being plagued by STD’s serves as a driving force in his efforts to promote celibacy awareness as well.
“I’m married with three kids. One of the reasons I did this is because over 70 percent of Black kids are born into single-family households and the HIV and AIDs crisis. I wanted to do something different that would make a difference in the future but we’ve been deeply embraced within the Black community.”
Billingsley was also sure to communicate that although Black Celibacy is faith-based, the site is open to anyone who practices or is considering practicing celibacy.
“We are a faith-based site but our mission is celibacy. BlackCelibacy.com is for anyone who is celibate or considering celibacy. And it’s for those looking to meet others with the same values. We’re growing now. There aren’t just Black people on there. We actually have people of all races on the site.”
What do you think? Would you try out a site like Black Celibacy?
I Used To Be A Hypocrite! DeVon Franklin Says He Was A Backsliding Preacher Who Engaged In Premarital Sex
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, chances are you’ve heard at least a tiny tidbit about Meagan Good’s courtship and marriage to her Hollywood executive hubby DeVon Franklin. What made their relationship stand out so much in the sea of other Hollywood unions was how openly they discussed their decision to practice celibacy before tying the knot. During a recent interview with Let’s Pray TV, the newlyweds were asked about how they were able to discipline themselves to refrain from having sex before their wedding night.
“I had made a commitment of celibacy a long time before her [Meagan] and I had started dating. What motivated the commitment is also what helped me to keep it once we started dating. As you all know I preach and what happened was, I was kind of living a double life. I was preaching one Gospel, but then not living it. Trying to be two people started tearing me apart. I was like ‘Man, this just does not feel good in my spirit.’ So here I am doing this with this one woman and I’m going out preaching something different. Once I got out of that relationship, I made a commitment to God, ‘Once I’m out Lord, I’m done and I’m not going to do this until I’m married.’ I need to live in peace and I can’t live as two different people. So the desire for peace and harmony was the motivator. The other thing was the thought that if for some reason my disobedience were to disqualify me from God’s purpose for my life, would the activity that I was engaging in be worth it?” DeVon expressed.
“When Meagan and I got together I was already pretty strong in my walk and my commitment. Now this is Meagan Good so I had to do some prayer. I had to know myself and say ‘Alright, we just gonna hug right now and maybe kiss ya on the cheek.’ You have to know yourself. You have to be honest with your triggers. You also have to be vocal about your commitment. We talked about it. I didn’t know she was on that page, but I was blessed to learn that she was and it was just a matter of helping her stay strong in it,” he continued.
His honesty is refreshing, especially since some church folk like to pretend that they’ve been saved, sanctified, holy ghost-filled and baptized in the blood of the lamb since they left their mama’s womb!
Turn the page for footage of their chat and to hear Meagan share how she stuck with her commitment. Thoughts?
It seems that being close friends with power couple Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin, in addition to his role in the 2011 rom-com Jumping The Broom could have possibly be rubbed off on Laz Alonso. In a recent interview with Sister 2 Sister, the Deception actor discussed the success of the Franklins’ courtship and commitment to celibacy and how they’ve inspired him. He also shared his own views on celibacy and entertained possibly even practicing himself. Check out some of what he had to say.
On the decision to become celibate:
“I think it’s everybody’s choice. You know, people have different ways of going about their emotional and their personal lives. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer. It’s all opinion and what works for you. I think what worked for Meagan and DeVon has obviously worked very well because they’re madly in love with each other and they are a role model couple for me. I can’t really force feed my opinion down anybody’s throat. I just think whatever works for you works,” expressed the 38-year-old actor.
On the possibility of practicing abstinence:
“I mean they [Meagan and DeVon] got married. So maybe I need to try that approach.
I think that it is absolutely beautiful how Meagan and DeVon can inspire those around them. Whether by merely provoking people to consider celibacy; which is something they may have never even considered before or making the decision to become celibate. We can’t say for sure whether or not Laz will be hopping the abstinence train anytime soon, but it’s cool that he’s open enough to consider it.
Check out footage of Laz talking celibacy on the next page. Have you ever practiced or considered practicing abstinence before?
For some women, there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their man. Although love should be unconditional, many women feel the need to prove their love to a man, even if it means compromising their beliefs, safety or even their freedom to show them what a “down A$$ chick” they are. However, a man who truly loves you will never ask you to do anything you’re uncomfortable doing in order to prove your love to him. Your love and devotion should simply be enough, and couples who share true love will never have to prove anything to each other. However, if your man begins a sentence with, “If you loved me, you’d…,” run because most likely, nothing good can come of it. Showing your love shouldn’t be shameful, painful, humiliating or illegal, and while you may think you’re assuaging his insecurities, you’re actually just allowing him to manipulate you. Think there is no limit to showing him how far you’ll go to prove your love? Think again. Here are 10 things no woman should do for a man, simply because he asks her to.
There’s a certain level of tackiness that is to be expected when one accepts an invitation to appear on Howard Stern’s radio show, but I’m sure most of us really could have done without the intimate details Nick Cannon spilled on his wife, Mariah Carey, and their sex life.
On the show, the “America’s Got Talent” host was asked about the couple’s abstinence period before they got married. Just to be clear, there were only six weeks between the time the pair met and jumped the broom April 30 of 2008, but during that month-and-a-half, they didn’t engage in any type of sexual activity at all. For most women, this wouldn’t be a big deal, but you know how men are, so Nick was asked if he was worried about Mariah’s bedroom skills at all before tying the knot. He gave Howard this graphic answer:
“It was Mariah Carey. If Mariah Carey gave a bad b**w job, I’m still going in. In my mind, I’m wit it,” he said. “Either way she’s still one of the most beautiful women on the planet.”
Nice save on the last part, but unfortunately Nick’s responses got gradually worse. It appears to be the thing these days to ask celebrities whether they get it in to their own music, and Mimi’s husband admitted that they do. But what’s a little more over-the-top, is Nick saying that he pleases himself to Mariah Carey tunes, and that “Hero,” of all songs, happens to be his favorite to get off too. I know the bridge in that song is pretty powerful, but c’mon Nick, really? “Hero?”
I’m curious what Mariah thinks about her husband’s recent late-night interview. While it may be flattering that he handles his business to the tune of her voice, I would not want, not just my man, but my husband and the father of our children, talking about our sex life and how he felt me up like a sixth grade virgin on national radio, especially a kinky show like Howard Stern. Being the diva that Mariah is, I would’ve thought she’d feel the same, but she also likes attention and this is definitely giving her a lot of that.
Check out the bleeped up video of the convo on the next page if you so please. How are you feeling about Nick’s interview and these TMI details?
We can all make a compelling argument for why we SHOULD have sex. After all, it’s fun, it feels good and is good for you, and it’s the most intimate way you can share yourself and your love with your partner. But there is a flip side to that frisky coin, and varying attitudes towards sex show that there are plenty of reasons why you should hold off on doing the do. If you’re on the fence on whether or not you should have sex with a new guy, or for the first time ever, here are some things to consider before going all the way.