Do You Wear the Pants? 7 Signs That Say Yes!

November 19, 2011  |  
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The term “wears the pants” refers to a dominant, powerful and decision-making individual.  Of course the term originates with men, when historically men wore pants, and women were always in dresses or skirts.  Since these times, women have gained confidence, independence and financial security apart from their male counterparts.  In this case, the woman can become the reigning partner in a relationship and therefore “wear the pants.”  So are you wearing the pants in your relationship?  Take a look at these seven signs that you might be forfeiting your dainty dress, and slipping into a pair of pants, instead of your man.

1.  He’s quick to apologize

When you and your man get in a fight, does he always crumble under stress and apologize first.  If that’s the case, then look for a belt because you are definitely wearing the pants in the relationship.  Every one knows that typically women are the emotional beings and are more likely to try to smooth things over, compared to men.  But if your guy over compensates after a fight and apologizes his eyes out, then he’s likely the weaker link in your bond. (That, or he’s cheating and is struggling with a guilty conscience!)

2.  He dropped the “L” bomb first

Who said, “I love you” first?  If your man dropped it on you, before it had even entered your radar, then chances are he is the emotional one between the two of you. Showing vulnerability and transparency is a hard task to do, especially for men.  This should not be taken as a bad thing, however; but does reflect how in touch your man is with his feelings, which could come up in other areas of your relationship.

3. Your friends are now his friends

If your man has become a part of your existing social group, then he is most likely leaching on to you because you tend to be the dominant presence in the relationship.  A man who is willing to boycott all friendships and insert himself into your group shows that he is flexible to rearrange his life for you and is willing to take on you, your friends, your likes and your interests.  Be cautious that he doesn’t transform into a stage five clinger and loses his identity all together.  It’s nice to have your man hang around with you and your friends, but it’s quite another thing if he is always with you…

4. You bring home the bacon

Money makes the world go round, a sad but true fact.  In relationships it’s often the decision-maker and prominent partner that earns more money in the workplace.  Obviously women are typically underpaid in most careers, making it more likely that your man’s check is bigger than yours.  However, if you are the career driven, go-getter type, then your man might not be at your level.  It takes a secure (and smart!) man to give his partner the reigns when it comes to earning more money.  If you are the one dishing out dough for weekend getaways and dinners on the town, then you are very well in control.

5. You chose

Whether it’s figuring out what movie to watch or what restaurant to eat at, if you are typically the decision maker, you are probably also wearing the pants in the relationship.  It’s polite for a man to ask his date where she wants to eat, or what she wants to do, but if you are always having to plan the day and figure out the movie time for what you want to see, then you might be leading the relationship. And that’s okay.

6. He’s quick to tears

Some women are attracted to men that show their emotions more than hide them away.  It’s a great mix to find a man that does express feelings, but can also enjoy a day full of football, fried food, and beer.  If your man is quick to cry at a sappy movie, or when he sees a baby, you can be pretty sure you are playing the “man” role in the relationship.  If you have a water-works of a boyfriend, keep a box of tissues near you and be especially prepared at the end of “The Notebook.” It’s okay for you to emotionally support your boo.


7. He asks for permission

If your man constantly confides in you about where he should go to meet up with buddies, or what he should do with a free afternoon, you might be wearing the pants more often than you think.  Men are typically independent and confident in making their own decisions.  When this power is passed to you, it indicates that your man actually values your opinion more than his, and needs you to help him.  It’s a vulnerable move to ask for help or suggestions, and most men are very opposed to it. (Have you ever seen a man ask for directions?).  If you are open to dictating his life and explaining his every move to him, then go for it!  But if this kind of behavior grows tiresome and you want an independent dude, try to build up his confidence and approve any ideas he comes up with on his own.  It might be time to ween your man off of you and watch him fly on his own. Whoever wears the pants, what is most important is the love between you — and if you are comfortable in the leading role. Are you?

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  • Me

    Well, many of those conditions don’t apply to me. I don’t cry, I don’t hang around with my wife’s friends like a clingy kid. But overall, I’d say yes, my wife wears the pants. I tried wearing them for awhile, but she kept taking them back. So now she wears them exclusively. She gave me a dress and apron and said, I was going to be playing the role of June Cleaver.

  • x1134x

    My wife wears the pants. She makes more money, gets the remote control and decides what we watch, buys my clothes and tells me what to wear, never gives in during a fight, and makes me come crawling back. She loves it. I’m the miserable one.

  • Getit!

    Who would date him?

  • Vee

    This list sounds like a guy who no longer has any balls left, and probably will still get left. Most women don’t want a man that can’t stand up sometimes. Suppose he might have to fight for you and he start crying instead. lmao

    • Girliusmaximus

      lLMAO Or runs away! I have seen that before and man is it embarassing for the woman. You are right that this list sounds like some spineless scary dude that just waits on his woman to tell him what to do. I thought that was the kind of man I wanted until I was with him. Such a punk. And would get upset over the oddest stuff. “You had an angry expression on your face while you weer talking to your friend and it hurt my feelings…” WTF???

  • Girliusmaximus

    Well I find that not wearing the pants tends to lead to better things of mutual benefit for me and my hubby if you know what I mean…

    I’m not entirely convinced that these examples means the woman wears the pants. These are characteristics of guys who like to avoid conflict and are people pleasers in my opinion.  

    • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

      yeah some of these I didn’t really agree with either, especially the “if he says ‘I love you’ first” one…not that I actually follow the “advice” from any of these relationship articles (I’m happily married and just find them interesting to read), but most of them say that a woman should never be the first one to say “I love you”, and I tend to agree. When a man says it first, as he should, that makes him “weaker” and means that the woman is wearing the pants?? I call bs