What is the Status of the Relationship?

I feel like for the most part, I’m the pursuer (or at least they allow me to believe that I am) which means I will pay on the first date. Typically after the first date, whoever calls and asks the other out for a second (which is still usually me) should pay. This is the way I’ve prettymuch always done it and it has worked. Now once we’ve established that we’re in a relationship then I have no problem paying because I get the honor of sporting her as mine. While dating, I may be paying and some other dude may be sitting across the room licking his lips at her behind my back and when I go to the bathroom, he gets the digits and after I drop her off at home he’s making his move and she’s gone. So I’ve spent all kinds of money on her and he gets the prize. But I’ve been lucky enough to find women that don’t mind paying or asking me out so things have worked out pretty well so far.

I feel like for the most part, I’m the pursuer (or at least they allow me to believe that I am) which means I will pay on the first date. Typically after the first date, whoever calls and asks the other out for a second (which is still usually me) should pay. This is the way I’ve prettymuch always done it and it has worked. Now once we’ve established that we’re in a relationship then I have no problem paying because I get the honor of sporting her as mine. While dating, I may be paying and some other dude may be sitting across the room licking his lips at her behind my back and when I go to the bathroom, he gets the digits and after I drop her off at home he’s making his move and she’s gone. So I’ve spent all kinds of money on her and he gets the prize. But I’ve been lucky enough to find women that don’t mind paying or asking me out so things have worked out pretty well so far.

I feel like for the most part, I’m the pursuer (or at least they allow me to believe that I am) which means I will pay on the first date. Typically after the first date, whoever calls and asks the other out for a second (which is still usually me) should pay. This is the way I’ve prettymuch always done it and it has worked. Now once we’ve established that we’re in a relationship then I have no problem paying because I get the honor of sporting her as mine. While dating, I may be paying and some other dude may be sitting across the room licking his lips at her behind my back and when I go to the bathroom, he gets the digits and after I drop her off at home he’s making his move and she’s gone. So I’ve spent all kinds of money on her and he gets the prize. But I’ve been lucky enough to find women that don’t mind paying or asking me out so things have worked out pretty well so far.

If he asks,he should pay. But these days, men expect a little something something in return if they do. So id just rather pay my own way until there’s a solid understanding.

Men are generally in control of the pace of the relationships with women. Most often men get the deciding vote on when the commitment begins and whether or not an engagement or marriage results from the relationship. Also, men have a general reputation for dating many women at once and for promiscuity. These are some of the reasons (amongst others like financial stability predictors, etc.) why women expect men to pay for dates. A man’s willingness to pay for a date generally corresponds to his level of sincerity about the ensuing relationship. A woman’s expectation that a man pays for the dates is one way of protecting herself from insincere and predatory men. Though, this is only a stop gap measure, and not a cure all against predatory methods, like somebodies’s momma used to say “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
That being said, I believe it is fair for the man to pay for at least the first three to five dates in full. By the fifth date, the parties should know whether they might have a future or are going to call it quits. In a relationship, parties should be generous with each other and should do things for each other just because they are able to and want to show they care. Keeping tabs on who paid last and who should pay next, is not only annoying, but will ruin a relationship.

It depends upon the purpose of dating – if you are a young man then most times you are dating for the experience or for having someone on your arm or hoping to develop a relationship (assuming this isnt a hit it and quit it situation) – i think most men in this situation expect to be pay, and women expect to be treated and yes some women abuse that situation

But as you get older, most men’s attitudes change – if i am meeting for a serious relationship then its Starbucks or somewhere similar so that we can have a discussion about what each of us want and if we can continue forward. After a certain age, wining and dining random chicks is a thing of the past.

And post 40, unless you look like Halle Berry, you will need to ask the men out if you want to have a chance

Give and take situation. As a lady, I am cool with going to the park if the weather permits with some food and beverages (love outdoors)…somewhere where it can be free or low cost and get to know that person more as well different and not the norm of dinner and a movie or just dinner because at the end of the day whether money is spent or not–it does not change on those two people hitting it off or not. And if they do decide to see one another again–then spending a little more money and planning to attend an establishment will be more appropriate.

Sometimes going places that are free or low cost–you can generally tell that persons attitude whether money is really important to them vs. I am excited to talk/see this person…now that I am in his/her presence…lets see what happens (both parties can walk away after the first date with nothing more than a little time lost….well, unless that person is just plain craaaaazy)

Yes, at least the first two dates.

My boyfriend makes about half of what I make (I make more
$ than most people I know even though most people I know are college educated
and gainfully employed). He pays for
most of our dates. Once in a while I
will pick up the tab… maybe 1% of the time (i.e. he’s in the bathroom when the
bar bill comes and its $25, etc.).
However, I contribute in other ways… I cook his favorite meals, iron
his clothes, keep my fridge stocked with his favorite beer, etc.

I am laying the ground work for the relationship “I” want
(different women want different things).
It’s important to me that the man bears the financial burden in the
relationship as I may want to work part time or none at all when we marry and have
children, etc. He was raised in a two
parent home where his father was the bread winner (although his mom worked and
was more educated than his dad but she made less money) so we are on one accord
with how we operate within our relationship.

Also, we have sex every day (sometimes several times a
day when time permits), he claims my head game is sick, I watch MMA and
football with him, etc. I said that to
say that everyone has different needs and expectations from a relationship… I
meet his and he meets mine. He could
care less if I ever picked up the tab but he would throw a fit if I didn’t
throw down in the kitchen at least once a week and allow him to watch football.
And I don’t mind packing his luggage every time we go on vacation as
long as he keeps taking me on (and paying for) our vacations.

Oh, we have been together for two years.