Rude or Real? Would You Mind A Woman Asking You Where You Got “Your Hair”?

July 13th, 2012 - By Veronica Wells

The conversation started off with a lean and a “girl, can you believe…” So, I knew it was about to get real. The follow up question didn’t live up to my expectations though.

It went something like, “Girl, can you believe this woman just asked me where I got my hair from?”

I sat back and thought for a minute, then said, “… And you were offended by that?”

Though, her weave was expertly sewn into her head, a black woman would have had to be completely ignorant about weave culture to know that this hair didn’t grow out of this woman’s head naturally. I always thought that if you wanted to know where a woman’s hair came from, you simply asked her…politely. It was something I’d seen done often. I would have taken such a question as a compliment. A black woman would obviously inquire because she admired or planned to duplicate the look for herself.

This woman didn’t see it like that. She said, “You go through all this trouble, trying to make it look real, only for people to come up to you and ask where you got it. It’s rude.”

Hmm…now if the woman ran up on her and put her fake hair on blast for all the world to hear, then maybe that’s one thing; but as a woman who’s worn weave before, it’s not something I would have been offended by. I would have taken it as an opportunity to help my fellow sista tap into her own level of flyness. But that’s just me.

We want to know what you think about this.

Has a woman ever asked you where you got your hair? How did you respond? Do you think it’s rude to ask a woman where she bought her hair?

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  • http://profiles.google.com/michaeline.fraser Michaeline Fraser

    i dont mind! i know my hair is fake a lot of the time, but many times ppl even think its real, and when its really mine i just brush it off, its popular in the black culture, we have to help sisters out!

  • heyyall

    By the way the woman in the picture above is wearing hollywood remy hair! I love that hair! lol!

  • PosterGirl

    I certainly don’t mind. A guy asked me the other day about my natural curls, and I took it as the compliment (and opportunity to educate) that it was. Me personally, I can’t get mad if someone doesn’t know.

  • http://twitter.com/girlwonder614 cute_n_ creepy

    I usually get asked that question, but by guys. They give me that quizzical side long glace and ask, “is your hair real?!” I smh, laugh, and tell him yeah, it’s mine. Many of the women who aren’t sure if it’s real or not, just tell me it’s pretty, and ask to touch it, I guess that’s their way of checking for authenticity. But, either way, I dont get upset or offended by the question, I take it as a way of showing other black women we can have long hair if we want to have it!

  • trustmelove

    IMO, the question is annoying because women of other races with long( or even longish hair are not asked if it is theirs or not. People just assume that it is. But if a black woman has long or longish hair the automatic and incorrect assumption is that black women cannot grow our hair. The internet is jam-packed full of how-to advice for naturals, perms, weaves and anything in between.

  • http://twitter.com/Only1SeikoLaRue Seiko

    there are ALOT of women who have extremely long hair and wear a weave
    (Angela Simmons, Gabrielle Union) but they wear weave because their
    natural hair is hard to manage. Its not unfathomable, but Its not a rude
    question either. Just say you got it from Genetics and call it a day.
    But for women who do buy a good grade of hair to get upset when people
    ask where they got it is stupid especially seeing as how women with good
    weaves are CONSTANTLY talking about the next female if her weave is a
    hot mess… Just tell the girl where you got the Hair from so she can
    stop looking like K. Michelle in last weeks episode of Love and Hop Hop
    Atlanta

  • Aolani Kayo

    It’s very rude to ask a woman where she bought her hair. It’s also rude to ask how much one has paid for their hairstyle as well.

  • Jenelle J

    it’s def not that deep. If it’s your hair simply smile and say “sorry, this was God-given” . if it’s weave simply smile and say ” I got it from XYZ” you can even give the name of your stylist.
    Some women go through too much. calm down ladies. no one cares that much.

    I’m never worried about chicks looking better than me if i give them my “secrets”. some chicks be out here looking ratchet the least we can do is tell them where to go in order to look better.
    + I’m all about helping people look their best. So it’s a compliment when someone wants to know about my hair products, styling, skin regimen etc. Why? b/c I know I look good and if you don’t want to know what I’m doing then I’m not “doing” it well.

  • consider this

    I’ll play devil’s advocate on this one ;)
    you can’t automatically assume that the woman mistaking your real hair for a weave holds the belief that black women can’t grow long hair. In actuality, she may have simply noticed that nowadays many black women ( both long and short haired) rock weaves!lol you know? It could be a simple observation. No malice, jealousy, or disbelief ever intended.

  • SuZQ

    I think maybe if a woman said “I really like your hair. If you don’t mind my asking where did you get your hair done/ who does your hair?” Then if the woman doesn’t volunteer weave information or indicate that it is her natural hair you can go straight to the source and ask the professional.

  • Ash

    I don’t mind, because it’s all mine. However, I do mind when people want to touch it. Or when someone says, “I don’t believe you, let me see your scalp.”

    • Ms_Sunshine9898

      great answer. clearly you aren’t as snobby and ready to look down on other weave wearers as some other females. . .

  • Pivyque

    Well, it’s rude to me because I don’t wear weave, so when they ask me I get offended…not mad offended, but they are basically saying that a black woman can’t have naturally long hair. My sister uses it from time and she doesn’t mind at all. She would ask someone if they had a nice weave, so she is fine with that.

  • Miss D

    I don’t mind it at all. I don’t wear weave often, so when someone asks ‘if it’s mine’ they are are just impressed that I have so much hair. No big deal. I usually end up giving them tips on how to grow their hair and it’s a win-win situation.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    i can see this being offense for people with actual long hair.. But if you don’t like getting called out for wearing fake hair then don’t wear it..

  • dee

    I wouldn’t think it’s rude at all. If we treat our hair like an accessory then why feel like it’s rude if someone who is admiring your “accessory” and would love to know where you got it. Would your feel the same way if someone asked where you got your “red bottoms” from, or where you got your fabulous handbag from? I say share the love….what’s the harm, heck the hair belonged to someone else to begin with.

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