The Severity Behind Every Street Holla

February 17, 2012  |  

I stumbled across this comic a couple of weeks ago and all I could say was “Amen!” This illustrator really and truly gets it.

And by “it,” I mean what it’s like to be a victim of street harassment. For most of us by the time we’ve hit puberty, (if not before), we’ve been subjected to the cat calls, the tactless pick up lines, the comments on our boobs and backsides more times than we’d like to remember.

I’ll never forget being in the mall with my mother one weekend. Wearing a pair of colorful denim shorts, I had to have been about eleven or twelve. We were near a jewelry kiosk when a man on a cell phone interrupted his conversation to state to no one in particular, “Whew, look at that A$$.” The A$$ he was referring to was mine.

That was the first time a grown man had ever made public mention of my body. As a girl I used to daydream about what it would be like to gain the attention of the male kind. I just knew it would be flattering, intimate, and welcomed. Suggestive, yet respectful.

The complete opposite of that mall interaction.

As women, I don’t have to tell you that such attention is annoying, threatening and worst of all degrading. I wish I could say that the foolishness stopped there; but that would be a lie, it only got worse. Today, every time I leave my apartment, I put on what I call my “don’t Fawk with me” face and hit the streets of New York. As much as I loathe the winter, I can’t help but be grateful that my puffy, mid-calf length coat curbs some of the harassment. But not all of it.

Last winter, I stepped out around 6:30 p.m. on what had to have been the coldest night of the year. Ever conscious of my grandmother’s pneumonia warnings, I was bundled up like no other. Literally, the only things visible were my eyes. And still, a man getting off the bus, couldn’t restrain himself. “Aye.” And then louder, when I ignored him, “AYE!”

All I could think of was let me get as far away from this fool as fast as possible. Later, when my fear subsided, I realized these men must not understand how threatening their hollas, their “compliments” can actually be. In reality, I’d guess that most street hollerers aren’t dangerous. They’re just horny men who’ve had luck with that approach a time or two and therefore continue to use it on any and every woman who catches their eye. And that’s the problem.

Didn’t this man getting off the bus that night realize that I was a woman alone on the street, in the dark? Why would he feel that situation was the time to try to approach me, a complete stranger? How many rape scenes resemble that scenario?

I fear that the  street “hollerers” aren’t the only men who don’t get it. As the comic illustrated, when you tell a “regular dude” about the happenings of your day, don’t be surprised if he responds in complete ignorance. This has happened to me personally. He literally said, “I would love for women to hit on me in the street.”

Sure, men don’t receive compliments on their physical appearance like women do and they think that sucks. But they don’t know how good they have it. It’s not complimentary, it’s threatening. What wouldn’t I give to walk the streets in peace? The point is, many men lack a general awareness of how exhausting it can be to just have a vagina in public.

I know I don’t speak for just myself when I say that as women, we spend a lot of our time out on high alert.

As sad as it may seem, there’s always this sickening cognizance and fear of what could happen if you’re not as aware as you should be, if you take a wrong turn, if you walk past the wrong person at the wrong time, hell, if you’re with the wrong person at the wrong time.

As great as it is being a woman, it’s scary too. If more men knew this, I like to think they’d be less inclined to assault us on the street.

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  • habinerenmei

    There isn’t anything wrong with you. Most likely you have resting bitchface. People talk to me a lot less, now that I don’t smile much in public.

  • I’m not at all convinced that they’re clueless guys who’ve found their approach works “a time or two” and keep trying. I think the great majority know exactly what they’re doing. They know they’re not going to “score” and they know their behavior is threatening to you. Street harassment is a very effective way of reminding women where they stand, of making sure we don’t get comfortable or start feeling entitled to having control over our own bodies. By treating us as prey they make sure we think, act and feel like prey. These men are not trying to get a date, they are asserting dominance.

    • Darcampb

      Nailed it.

  • Squeak

    My mother scolded me for getting upset with boys who harassed me and my sister. She said we were being “rude” and “breaking their hearts” and actually tried to get the boys’ phone numbers so we could call them and apologize.

    • Darcampb

      Wide eyed blank stare at your mom for that. I’m dirty you were raised by a complete psycho

      • Darcampb

        Should read ‘sorry” not “dirty”

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  • Darcampb

    Hm. My comment was edited in a way that makes no sense. What I originally wrote is that men imagine that the women who would “holler” at them are cute, pretty, petite, se*y women. This is not comparable to the types of men that street harass women.

  • First time I remember being hollaed at was when I was 11. I was still very small and skinny and mostly looked like a pre-pubescent boy. I was wearing a white t-shirt and walking home from the school bus in Panama (my father was military and we were living in Arejan, a small suburb outside of Panama City, Panama) and it started pouring rain, drenching myself, my sister, and my mother. I remember not really understanding what had just happened, but all three of us got very afraid and we just started hustling home. We walked a thirty minute walk in about 15 minutes.

    My husband tried saying that men would appreciate the hollas because they view things very differently than women. And I popped back with the fact that women live in fear. Even when we don’t seem to be afraid, we live in fear. I have a six inch double edged blade that I keep sheathed in my purse, where it will remain until I can afford the gun I want. We view things differently -because- of that. Men will never experience that sort of fear. The closest my husband gets is in his worry for -me- when I go out at night alone.

  • Librarylady

    Speaking as someone who responded to a street holla (when I was young and impossibly naive) from a man who then raped me at gunpoint, I don’t think it’s out of line at all for women to view this sort of male behavior as threatening. Is every street holla a preface to rape? No, but it could be, and how would you know?

  • Naria

    I know this is a sign of how awfully this culture of objectifying women has been ingrained in me, but I’ll say it anyway…
    I’ve never, ever been hollered on the street. I am in my mid-20s, a time women are supposed to be beautiful and sexy. And the fact that I do not get hollered on the street, EVER, but my friends do, makes me feel really self-conscious, and, well, UGLY. I can imagine that these hollers would be threatening, and I am not saying I WANT unwarranted street attention. However, when I hear my girlfriends talk about the attention THEY get and I realise that I’ve never gotten any, I have to pause to wonder what is wrong with me and whether I am attractive at all… I know this is stupid… but apparently there are two sides to this situation, and both kind of suck…

  • The one thing you have to look forward to when you are 50 something, you will become invisible to the street hollerers, well unless you have some work done. Cheers.

  • I can relate to all the scenarios in the comic and your story! Thanks to the author for writing this and MadameNoire for publishing it because in my eyes we don’t discuss this enough. I don’t think men stop to even think if their actions can sometimes make us uncomfortable and it’s unfortunate. It seems like the goal would be to approach us in a way that’s a turn on, not a complete turn off.

  • Maybe its the new york in me but i actually enjoy when men make comments about my body lol

    • Darcampb

      You sound pathetic and insecure. A strange man making comments about your body is the opposite of respectful and complimentary

    • Carmen Haynes

      @twitter-326491094:disqus That’s something I would expect a young girl to say(16-24),you look like you’re at least 43. Get it together and act your age,hoodrat.

  • Nicholas Mann

    To be sure, people shouldn’t be disrespectful to others in public. But this rant is the simulation heuristic at work: you can imagine that a man who would make a comment about your appearance (and ergo violate a boundary of yours) would go on to rape/attack you, but that doesn’t make it so. There’s just not enough evidence for this belief to assign that kind of blame.

    Go ahead and call people out for being disrespectful, but there’s a huge difference between being a jerk and being a predatory criminal. I don’t disagree that it’s frightening to be vulnerable to attack, but the world is a chaotic place and it’s not always a good idea to walk around with your head down. Sometimes making eye contact, as if to say “I now know what you look like enough to describe your appearance,” can dissuade an attacker. The bottom line, however, is that we simply don’t know the best way to avoid getting raped, and the more effort we put into answering that (possibly unanswerable) question, the less responsibility we’re placing on the person who commits the attack.

    To reiterate, I’m not defending the actions of men who make inappropriate comments towards women; I’m simply pointing out that the blame for your exhausting fear of having “a vagina in public” is misplaced here. A man who objectifies you may remind your vulnerability to violent crime, but he does not himself automatically represent a physical threat to you.

    • Kundah

      “he does not himself automatically represent a physical threat to you”

      Except that he does. Schroedinger’s rapist, dude.

  • Rae Louis

    This article is sooo true. I remember being in 6th grade and a guy pulling his car to the side of the road asking me for my number. I was wearing a baggy sweatsuit, a turtleneck, and some sneakers (this was the 90s lol). I ran home terrified! Even to this day, if there is a guy loitering outside of the corner store I feel my guards coming up. And heaven forbid there’s a group of them -__-

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  • RealConvo


  • have you noticed how a nun always gets that respect that you speak of

    even if she is young


    because of her style of dress….she has covered up most of her body…..including her hair which is a big part of beauty for men

    the same goes for those traditional orthodox women….who cover up most of their body

    and the muslim women too…..they are covered up too

    and of course, i dont mean you should cover up your hair and then wear tight jeans which accentuate your figure….no!

    but to cover up…and wear loose clothing

    • Live_in_LDN

      Victim blaming are we?

    • vwells1

      Did you not read the story? Did you miss the part where I went outside in the winter completely bundled up and a man still felt the need to yell at me on the street? It doesn’t and shouldn’t matter what a woman wears. She, like every other human being, deserves respect. The attire is not the problem, it’s the disrespect.

    • Ifuaskme2

      What an idiot! Even nuns get raped. And as a NYer myself I GET IT. Of course Ms Ribbons, your ignorance means you clearly missed the article where a nun was recently murdered in NY. Guess her habit should have had a train.

    • Lisa

      MRF – I’m going to assume you’re a guy, because I can’t fathom any female old enough to get on the internet being naive enough to believe that “covering up” will prevent catcalls and harassment. You’re dreaming. Nuns get respect – usually, not alwasy – because their clothes announce their religious affiliation, and position in the church, and there are a lot of lowlifes who still respect *that*, even though they don’t respect women. Verbal harrassment is the fault of the people yapping, not the people on the receiving end.

    • TheSunIsRelative(Jana)

      I come from a Middle Eastern country, and the hijab will not stop guys hitting on you. They’ll make lewd comment on your figure, if you’re wearing it “correctly”, etc etc. And if you wear a hijab in most states, you’ll get even more comments by Islamaphobic assholes.

  • Candacey Doris

    Thank you! I think the first tie someone hollered at me like that i was 11…I on’t care how grown my body looks, 11 is too young for anything. And it just got worse from then. It’s everyone too! I got hollered at by black men in Brooklyn, Cuban guys in the Bronx, West Indians in Queens, Chinese guys in manhattan and those annoying long islanders that are all the same no matter what race they are. I don’t live in NY anymore but that’s where i learned to wear my stfu face whenever i was out alone. Men need to get a clue, Compliments are totally different than what they’re doing.

    • Sheena Davis

      @google-9daa11a3ef8e99b190ead3a346316b6f:disqus That’s the age most young people in the urban area get hollered at. Every girl hates walking past a pack of young dudes.

  • MixedUpInVegas

    This article gives a true description of how street harrassment feels to a woman.  It is stuff that has long needed saying, too!  I hate to admit it, the a group of black men lounging on a stoop or street corner are a lot more threateneing than a few cat calls from some construction workers 5 stories off the street.  I avoid groups of young black men whenever possible, because it feels so threatening.  And, as many other women have said, you have to put your mean face on or it will only be worse.

    How unspeakably presumptuous and rude! 

  • adrienne

    100% agree with this article!!!!

  • Cutily

    Thank you!!!! When I was talking about that around me, they would say that I only wanted to show how people find me beautiful and stupid things like that.

    Sometimes I’m truly, in some places and at some time when I feel a man could come and do that. Maybe I’m over-reacting, but with what we hear everyday I have to.

    And I just hate that, if I haven’t demonstrated any interest in you, it means that I don’t care. Period.

  • Guest

    Amen.  I can relate to this article 120%. I often put on my “don’t eff with me face”, which consist of me mean mugging and I still get cat calls and “Ayes”. I don’t even like walking around outside since I have hit puberty unless I am with my older boy cousin or my brother or dad, and it even still happens then.  Guys don’t know how intimidating their whistle and cat calls are. If it’s a group of black dudes, I am avoiding them completely.

  • Orangestar616

    I just had to contact security in my place of employment today about being stalked entering and leaving my federal building by someone whom I have tried to be politely decline for months. This degenerate thought that by berating, harassing, and badgering me I’d go out with him (WDDDTA) and when I made it clear that wasn’t ever going to happen,  he blew up on me yesterday maliciously and profane after I told him for 1000nd time I was not interested. He is clearly unbalanced and I told security I did not feel safe. My next step is the cops, if FPS and security in my building don’t handle this.

    As for the smiling thing, * eye roll * I REALLY cannot stand that, not because I don’t like to smile but because smiling @ random dudes gives folks the wrong impression as if they have an invitation. 
    Just like being gracious enough to speak to people makes some people think they actually have a chance. You can’t even speak without people being delusional or just leaving it at that.

    So many men feels its ok to disrespect, stalk, harass and berate women, who don;t want them or just don’t wnat to be bothered period.

    The cat calls started for me @ 12 also and the level of ignoragce and disrespect has only gotten worse over the years. All I can say is for mothers to raise your sons to respect women.

  • RedButterfly81

    Also, when a thirsty azz guy hollers at you in a disrespectful way and you give him the stink eye and keep it moving, he’ll call you a b*tch and say “well, you’re ugly anyway, that’s why no man don’t want your ugly azz!”. Oh, poor thing can’t take rejection! Not only I get this BS when I’m alone, but in front of my 3 year old daughter too, like they don’t know how to act around young children. A simple “good morning” or “hi” will do because I’ll smile then!

  • Pivyque

    I agree. Sometimes they approach you in a way that FEELS walking directly in front of you and blocking your way. They just view it as trying to talk, but I view it as this big, tall man blocking my way and all I am thinking about is an escape plan lol I’ve never been the type to walk with my head down to avoid anything though. I usually just keep walking. If a man approaches me in a respectful way, I will smile and let him know that I am married. Lol 

  • Sharie

    Really good article. It’s something women have to deal with on a day to day basis. I don’t mind a polite compliment. But the loud, aggressive, demeaning, disrespectful harrassment is why I keep my pepper spray handy when out & about.

  • blackbane

    Oh  please, yeah SOME guys are thristy but most guys do not bother women like they used too.Some women complain that “black men dont like them” if no one holla. Alot of women like the attention that is why they were skimpy outfits just to go to the store. Don’t act like you all do not like the attention especially on a day when you “feel ugly”. I am from NYC and when I walk down the street I try not to look at females and disrespect them like MOST men do but some females will look at you crazy if you do not pay them attention. Yeah some guys over do it but that is life, not every one will know their limits. Also men of every race do it in their own way(ie. construction workers). If fact some BW prefer getting cat calls from other races of men since it is so rare. 

    • Freebee33

      I guess you would know what women believe or feel, right? Since you walk in our shoes everyday and all…

    • Nina Dashotta

      …..says the fool that probably thinks its a woman’s fault she gets raped because of what she wears. Lemme tell you something pseudo man, Don’t try and justify a man’s lack of self control and mannerism by saying women like it especially if we feeling ugly…GTFOHWTBS!!! If that was the case, we would have men in tampon and maxi pad commercials! And stop hanging around yayo snorting wanna be models in your NYC, because a normal woman does not get pissed because a man won’t pay her no mind WTH kinda women are u around? You sound like you’ve done a research paper on Steve Harvey’s books. And cat calls from other races of men would be more welcoming than these loser black men know why? Because they aren’t trying to be some hybrid thug, blue collar, college grad in a ball of confusion, I have NEVER walked by a group of white men and gotten the “damn baby your azz is fat” one fool even went as far to say my p*ssy was fat when I had on my yoga pants. Even Hispanic men do the same as black men so let me not make it one sided here. I suggest you visit the city again, this time leave your “it’s a woman’s fault” shades at the crib

      • Darcampb

        Brilliantly stated, Nina.

      • blackbane

        I am an average black male from brooklyn,NY and I am an observant person. You can give me all the excuses but I have seen women go far lengths to get male attention just as much as SOME men are thristy. Normal women are usaully the ones that want the most attention actually becuase they want to feel special or unique. You are bold face lying if you cant admit women dont like attention from men. . If you have a problem with what these men then dont wear yoga pants and keep it moving.But with the way you described black men , which is ridiculous you probably would not mind being cat called by a man of another race.Some of you just hate black men PERIOD.BW are not innocent either, Whenever are group of black women are aroung they get bold too and will laugh and make jokes in front of a mans face if there gear is not tight or the man is not good looking to them. So it goes both ways.

        • Hey Mr. Average. Do you really think all attention from men is equal? Polite, courteous, respectful attention from men can make a woman feel wonderful. Catcalls and remarks on her a** and how much a man wants to f**k her make a woman feel threatened. How do you want to make a woman feel?

      • blackbane

        One more thing you mention that if women wanted attention then men would be in maxi pad commercial which does make sense since tampons and maxi pads are for  personal use not to get a mans attention.I dont think I see women bending over showing off there tampon Later you mention Steve Harbey book, which is funny because his book was successful. And WHY was it so successful because Women wanted to know how to get the attention from men.BINGO

        • Yazzie

          Now i will admit there are thirsty females in the world that are looking for male attention, but many men (NOT ALL) don’t seem know the difference. They will make advances at anything with a vag, even young girls which is down right sicknening. And as for the yoga pants comment, women don’t usually wear yoga pants to be “cute” it’s either for working out or being to lazy to iron or put on jeans so we shouldn’t have to stop wearing them because men can’t control their hormones. That’s like saying men should stop wearing sweat pants because women said so.

      • Cutily

         Hahaha! I swear when I was living in NYC I thought my name was “mami”!

    • I agree!

      lmfaoooo this guy is bold

  • Mt0324

    Excellent article…

  • Ebonydiva82

    Street harassment sucks. Instead of saying, “damn, you look good”, why not say, “that’s a nice (shirt, jacket)” basically something that does not attack your body parts. Whenever I see a group of men standing around doing nothing on the street, I always cross over because I don’t want them looking at me or harassing me. It is what it is.

  • tastythoughts

    this article is really really good. well said sista

  • Lorenzo

    great article, a lesson revisited.

  • Smacks_hoes

    Finally a good article!! I agree. When I see a group of guys and I’m alone I just turn and go the other way…if I’m with a group of girls they don’t usually approach me, they just glare thank god! Ugh I hate that

  • sweetie

    Absolutely loved this article, hit the spot

  • Sue

    It can feel threatening, especially if you are alone. I actually saw a guy punch a girl in her face because she would not talk to him on Worldstar…It doesn’t make any sense…And since when is hollering like that attractive? Doesn’t these guys know that the dude who is always hollering never gets any play?

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  • Mrsadkiah

    My favorite is “Aye AYE!…oh ok f*** you then b**** you ugly anyway” So annoying. My mother taught me never to be snobbish to these men b/c I could get hurt. Once my sister and I were walking and a guy let his dog out on us b/c my sister wouldn’t give him the time of day. So I always just politely say “hello” “no thanks” type of things but still I get this foolery. Ridiculous. 

    • Harsh Reality

      Bwahahahah!! Did you run from that dog?!! Lmaoo

      • Mrsadkiah

        Lmao of course! It was ridiculous. 

  • Calling me se*y while rubbing his hands, licking his lips, and looking me up and down….that has got to be one of the creepiest things a man can do….ewwwww it makes me feel so dirty, I just wanna hop in the shower and wash with some bleach. Who on earth said it was ok for guys to talk and behave so disrespectfully to women?

  • Calling me se*y while rubbing his hands, licking his lips, and looking me up and down….that has got to be one of the creepiest things a man can do….ewwwww it makes me feel so dirty, I just wanna hop in the shower and wash with some bleach. Who on earth said it was ok for guys to talk and behave so disrespectfully to women?

    • Msmykimoto2u

      OMG YES! You just drew out almost every man that has shouted out to me. That is so not sexy its just…ugh!

  • Nati

    Amen, sister. Sometimes I dread walking by groups of men (black men in particular….unfortunately) because of this. It’s so obnoxious.

    •  White women get the same treatment from white men.  They complain too.

      • Darcampb

        not really. Certainly not on the level that black women receive this garbage from black men. I’ve even had my white female friends point out to me that white men do not take their street harassment to the level that black men do with us. Now that’s just embarrasing and sad

        • V2

          So, did you white female friends do some kind of scientific survey on this with a large sample size and valid methods to come to this conclusion? Or did they do what I think they did and just generalize based on a few limited interactions?

          • Darcampb

            I would assume they are speaking from observation and experience. And that their interactions are far from limited.

          • Bwadsjhfjhdshf

            I don’t know about them but I can tell you that after 14 years of getting harassed by boys and men all over the city of Chicago (it started when I was 10), the overwhelming majority of them were and are black. Second place is hispanic men, third is middle eastern men, and white men are a very, very, VERY distant fourth. (I’ve never been hollered at by an asian man.) Usually, the only time white men do the street holler to me is when they’re drunk.

            I will say that the first man to actually holler out of his car while I was walking, pull a U, park, and get out to talk to me was white. (Scared the sh*t out of me.) I told him I was 10 and he was out of there like his a** was on fire, thank god.

            Another thing I’ve noticed–once again, in MY experience–is that hispanic men are very likely to holler from their cars and even slow down to follow me, whether or not it slows or even stops traffic, or even if they have KIDS in the backseat! Black men usually just yell from the street or make a comment while walking by, but rarely drag it out.

            There’s my two cents.

            •  That’s because white men don’t holla at sistas.  That’s why you don’t get harrassed by them

              • Darcampb

                thats generally true. THANK GOD.

        •  Haha…that’s a lie.  I hang with white boys sometimes and they have ZERO respect for women.  Most Black women SWEAR white men are nice and sweet and nothing could be further from the truth.  I don’t know where they get that lie from, sounds like brainwashing to me from generation to generation.  Tell your white friends how we don’t kill Black women and dump them in the woods like white boys do them the next time you hear that lie.

        •  Click on the cartoon and go to the page it originally came from which has a white audience and see what white women are saying about this article. You did notice the people in the cartoon were white right? Which means this a white cartoonist describing the white woman’s experience. Get your head outta the clouds sista… white men are rude like any other man.  Hate to bust your bubble and ruin your fantasy.

          • Darcampb

            My “bubble” is neither burst nor my “fantasy” ruined. White men for sure have a plethora of issues and are disrespectful to women as well. What I’m discussing here is street harassment SPECIFICALLY. And that black men who do engage in street harassment seem to do it much more aggressively than other groups of men. If you don’t yourself engage in street harassment there is really no reason to be offended here.

          • Darcampb

            Also, if you click on the link you will be directed to the original page of the artist who drew the cartoon. The artist states that the woman is meant to be Latino and that the men pictured are supposed to be of a variety of races. Although that isnt easy to see from the drawing.

          • Darcampb

            Learn to read comprehensively- This was copied directly from the article.

            Ampersand says:

            September 1, 2010 at 4:26 pm

            Hi, Emily.
            A combination of the coloring scheme and my inadequate drawing makes
            it seem like all the characters are the same ethnicity, but that wasn’t
            my intention (in hindsight, I should have included clear racial cues on a
            couple of characters). In my mind as I was drawing this, not all of the
            harassers were the same race, and the protagonist is Latina.
            I hadn’t thought of doing a panel set in a crowd, and now that I’ve
            read your comment, if I did this over, I’d set one or two of the panels
            in a crowd. (But not more than that, because crowds are a lot of work to
            draw. )

        • Spitfire

          I’m not going to pretend that WoC don’t have vastly different experiences than me and that the intersectionality of being both black and a woman doesn’t make their experiences uniquely difficult in ways I can imagine but I get harassed on the street. A lot. And I’m not the only white woman. Do I get harassed by black men? Yeah but I also get harassed by white men and Latino men and Asian men. Mostly the problem is a group of men who are either young and trying to look macho to one another or lower class and… I don’t know, expecting me to be a prostitute or something. Sometimes with the lower class groups I think they LIKE the fact that they have the power to make women uncomfortable. The things that make me tense when I walk past a group of strange men transcend race but by and large don’t transcend either age or class which is disconcerting. But unless I’m walking at a time when no one is out in my city (which is possible in my neighborhood) yeah, I’m likely to have men shout things at me. I think this is an experience most women share though I wouldn’t doubt that upper class women experience it far less frequently than middle and lower class women.
          There is a good chance that WoC might experience MORE street harassment than white women, I really can’t be the judge of that and would never try to. I just know that I experience it frequently enough that I ALWAYS have to consider where and when my path of walking is going to take me I want to feel safe from this sort of behavior.

  • Nati

    Amen, sister. Sometimes I dread walking by groups of men (black men in particular….unfortunately) because of this. It’s so obnoxious.

  • guest

    I can really relate to this article. I hate getting harassed even though men feel like they are complimenting me. Even though I wear a wedding ring do you think they care nope. I have had to resort to putting my head down to avoid attention.

  • guest

    I can really relate to this article. I hate getting harassed even though men feel like they are complimenting me. Even though I wear a wedding ring do you think they care nope. I have had to resort to putting my head down to avoid attention.

  • Miryah

    I cosign with this article 100%… The crazy thing now a days is majority of these men who are ignored tend to be so disrespectful in a sense that kinda hits, most of the time Ill argue back, I will hear the word b**** and kindly remind him if I am a b**** yo Mama is a b**** as well.

  • Miryah

    I cosign with this article 100%… The crazy thing now a days is majority of these men who are ignored tend to be so disrespectful in a sense that kinda hits, most of the time Ill argue back, I will hear the word b**** and kindly remind him if I am a b**** yo Mama is a b**** as well.


    Nothing is more annoying than hood boogar men yelling “Yo Ma What’s Good?” Ugh I’m not your mother I didn’t give birth to your dusty butt don’t call me Ma.

    • Hood boogar & dusty butt? Really? That had me ROFL

    • Hood boogar & dusty butt? Really? That had me ROFL

    • jwallace

       Hood booger! I’m going to steal that from you, if that’s okay.

  • RedButterfly81

    The one thing that p*sses me off is when a man tells me to smile, when I either had a bad day or just tired. Look, don’t tell me what to do with my face, that makes me frown even more! Also, if I’m on the street and I see a group of ninjas, I’m crossing the street so I can get to school in peace.

    • Smacks_hoes


    • Cocolicious

      I had a popular campus athlete do this to me in college, then comment to other people that “I don’t smile”. People on campus harassed me about the expression I had on my face. S**t, I nearly starved in college. Unlike other individuals, I chose not to f*** for my meals. Nah, there wasn’t anything to smile about with 18 hours on my plate.

    • Freebee33

      Girl that is one of my biggest pet peeves! I will smile if I like to, maybe I’m not smiling because I don’t want to be bothered by some random fool lol

    • Pivyque

      Lol I think it depends. If I am mad then I don’t want to hear it, but if I am in a good or regular mood, then I don’t mind guys telling me I should smile.

    • jwallace

       Oh my. So it’s not me being paranoid and/or bitchy when guys tell me I “need to smile”. I hate it when the guys bother you on the street, and then try to make it seems as if you’re the one without manners.

    • anon

      I went to college with a certain, now famous, celebrity who would tell me this. They didn’t even know me. I’m practically starved in college, a place with stark socioeconomic lines drawn and campus athletes were kings. Then he went and told EVERYONE that I wasn’t smiling and I had an attitude. He didn’t know me. And everyone, male and female, played into it.

      And, yes, girls were raped on that campus; and it was swept under the rug. Survival of the fittest.

      There are plenty of women who condone and facilitate this type of behavior in men. Oh, they might march against it, for the public facade of social consciousness, but many women/females facilitate this b.s. – problem #1.

      • Kaitlyn

        who is it????

        • Anonymous

          Why do you care?

    • Kaitlyn

      I don’t quite understand the ninjas part of this comment.

  • RedButterfly81

    The one thing that p*sses me off is when a man tells me to smile, when I either had a bad day or just tired. Look, don’t tell me what to do with my face, that makes me frown even more! Also, if I’m on the street and I see a group of ninjas, I’m crossing the street so I can get to school in peace.