I am no fan of male strippers and last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta reminded me why I’d much rather learn some tricks from a female showing some T & A, then have a man jangle his jewels in my face.

The one thing that was right about the stripper Phaedra hired for Kandi’s 35th birthday party was his name—Ridikulous. Phaedra tells Kandi she knows she’s been on a diet, but  wanted to give her some chocolat, then suddenly, out of a life-sized red box pops a greasy, tatted up man with a Johnson the size of my forearm bulging out of his pants.

Since Phaedra didn’t know better than to pick more appropriate entertainment for Kandi’s event, I thought I’d point out where the southern belle went wrong with this gross display of the male form.

  1. Don’t pick out a stripper only you would like. It’s obvious from Phadra’s husband Apollo that she likes a man with a little hood in him, but Ridikulous was a little bit closer to the gutter. It should never be the case that not one woman has a smile on her face when a half-naked man is in front of her gyrating (unless you don’t like male strippers in the first place). The looks on the women’s faces were classic—instead of saying pleasant surprise, they said total disgust, particularly Nene’s, although who is she to judge?
  2. Don’t have a stripper at an event where the guest of honor’s mother, grandmother, auntie, or any other senior family member will be there. Mama Buress was not the slightest bit amused by the Ridikulous antics (pun intended) at her daughter’s party and she let Kandi have it. Her outburst definitely put a damper on the party mood, besides who wants to get their freak peek on with their mother in the same room?
  3. Don’t invite a male stripper to a co-ed party. Women might be down with watching female strippers, but I assure you the same is not true of straight men watching males take it all off. I don’t think Peter quite knew what to do with himself when the Ridikulous show started. He might have been picking up a few moves, but overall it was awkward for him to be there. Lawrence, on the other hand, probably sent Phaedra a thank you card afterward.
  4. Go over the tricks before the party. Some things are a little wild and others need to be restricted to the privacy of one’s fetish-filled bedroom. Ridikulous twirling his little man around with a tassel on it? Expected. Ridikulous sticking his thang in Kandi’s cocktail? Disgusting. Ridikulous Performing ‘Brain Surgery’ on himself? Vomit-inducing. There’s a way to keep stripping somewhat tasteful and this dude (and Phaedra) just failed all the way around

As a general rule, you should probably always get the guest of honor’s permission before you invite someone to come get naked at their party. Even if you want the stripper to be a surprise, it’s always best to throw the idea out there hypothetically and see if you get the green light. Watch the snippet below of Ridikulous’s moves below if you so choose.

What did you think of Phaedra hiring Ridikulous to strip at Kandi’s party? Was it all in good fun or out of line for the crowd? Have you ever had an unexpected stripper catastrophe at a party? What happened?

 

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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