Gettyimages.com/� Artiga Photo, age 20-25, African American, Puerto Rican
We live in a time when plenty of couples date for a long time before getting married, or simply never get married. A lot of people are taking their cues from the Swedes, who simply enter into domestic partnerships but never file any paperwork with the city. It’s quite common to hear a couple say, “We’re practically married” and that seems to be good enough for them. I wish I could say that tradition and societal expectations haven’t affected me. But you really cannot erase hundreds of years of tradition and biological programming from your blood. I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly five years and while I do not want to get married yet (and possibly ever) I am still aware of the fact that we are not married. Unmarried is a part of my identity. It’s this thing hanging around. Here’s what it’s like to date a man for a very long time, without marrying him.
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Weddings become awkward
Attending weddings with your boyfriend can become awkward. The other guests at your table mean well when they ask, “So, how long have you two been together?” But they become uncomfortable when you say you’ve been together for way longer than the couple whose wedding you’re at. And you all know they’re wondering, “Why aren’t you guys married yet?”
