Events That Motivate Women To Lose Weight (But Probably Shouldn’t)

August 1, 2017  |  
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Bigstockphoto.com/A slim young African American woman in exercise outfit sitting on the floor
stretching her body isolated for white background.

We don’t want to admit it, but we all do it: crash diet and work out like maniacs for certain events. There are just some times in life when our egos are put to the test (and they fail), when our insecurities overcome us and we deal with it by shedding pounds, and when we feel like we’ll have a leg up on a situation by slimming our legs down. Of course, once those events come and go, we realize that having lost a few pounds for them didn’t make the experiences any more enjoyable (or less miserable). In fact, nobody really noticed we lost weight because it’s not like we had time to go through a total body transformation. So let’s admit it now: here are events that motivate every woman to lose weight, but probably shouldn’t.

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Seeing ex-boyfriends

Even if you no longer have any feelings for the guy, even if you know you would (and should) never want to be with him again, and even if you’re already happily in a relationship with someone else, you can’t help but want to look trim when you see your ex. There’s a little ego boost that comes from knowing you look so good your ex is out there wondering if he made a mistake by letting you go.

 

 

 

 

 

Ahem, Black Women Are The Most Educated Group In The U.S.

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High school reunions

Maybe your career isn’t exactly where you want it to be. Perhaps your finances are not all you thought they might be at this point, and you’ll be self-parking your 2004 car far away from the hotel so nobody sees it. And it’s quite possible that you won’t be wearing some giant rock on your left hand the way you’d hoped you would be by now. But you can control one part of your life for your high school reunion: your bod. So suck it Stacey who owns a chain of hotels and has been married for five years—your stomach is flatter.

 

 

 

 

African-American woman with smartphone.

Seeing your mom

We all know that our moms will either criticize us for being too thin or not thin enough, so we’d rather it were the former. It also doesn’t hurt if our moms worry that we don’t have enough money to eat, and treat us to a few very expensive restaurants we couldn’t typically afford to make up for it. Oh, and leave a little cash on our kitchen table before they go. What?

 

 

 

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Vacations

You know you’ll be taking a lot of vacation selfies. You want the world to know (or at least think) that your life is perfect and fabulous. You’re going to take a photo in front of the hotel hallway window that has the great view of the ocean so people think your room has that view…when your room faces the parking lot. You’re going to dress cute for your airplane selfie, even though you’re sitting in coach. And you’re going to make sure your abs are on point to round out this contrived picture of the perfect life.

 

 

 

 

 

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Seeing an old college girlfriend

Remember when you and your college girlfriend could drink full bottles of wine every night, have two dinners, barely exercise and be size two’s? You’d like your friend to think you can still live like that. So you lose ten pounds to look like that. And then you lose an extra five because you know you’ll be drinking full bottles of wine every night while she’s in town.

 

 

 

 

 

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That first session with a trainer

For some reason, even though we hired a trainer because we are admitting we are not in the shape we’d like to be, we want to look good for our trainer. There is just something ego-stroking about that moment when the trainer says, “Oh. We don’t have much work to do here actually.” (Yes, we do. This is the result of juicing for five days, which is not how I really live.)

 

 

 

 

 

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The wedding

Every bride wants to look perfect in her wedding photos! But as we’ve mentioned in a previous article dieting before the wedding isn’t worth it for several reasons.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Pregnancy

If you know you and your partner are going to start trying to conceive, then you know there is some possible weight gain in your future. Many women overcompensate for this by dieting while trying to get pregnant. But this could throw off your hormones and make it harder to conceive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Meeting your partner’s ex

If for some god awful reason you must meet your partner’s ex, you want to make sure you look better than her. You want her to feel like he upgraded. You don’t want her to have a question in her mind about what he’s doing with you. If she does have any residual feelings for him, you want her to take one look at your toned arms and back off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Annual check-ups

Nobody enjoys the conversation with their doctor when they find out they need to cool it on the saturated fat and cut out some of the alcohol. For some reason, we feel like if we drop a few pounds before our physical, we can escape without having to change our diets per doctor’s orders. Of course, your blood work reveals your true lifestyle choices. Dammit.

 

 

 

 

 

Woman in therapy. Photo: Shutterstock

Meeting a new therapist

You may be going in there to tell your therapist that your life is falling apart, that you feel less-than perfect, that you don’t know why you can’t find a successful relationship, and that you feel unstable, but you’ll be damned if you don’t look good. You want your therapist to look at you and think, “Well clearly none of these issues are related to body confidence because this client has it going on.”

 

 

 

 

 

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The 30th birthday

Somehow, shedding some pounds before the big 30th feels like you’re fighting aging. You want everyone to tell you that you don’t look a day over 25, and you’re thinking dropping 25 pounds will do the trick. But you crash diet, maybe lose eight pounds, and wind up so cranky on your 30th birthday from hunger that people whisper, “Age has really taken its toll on her. She’s in a terrible mood.”

 

 

 

 

 

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Meeting the boyfriend’s friends

You know that your boyfriend’s friends have a mental catalogue of every other woman he has dated. You want them to file you under the category, “Hottest ones” or something like that. In fact, you wouldn’t mind if they were even a little jealous of your man for snagging you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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New jobs

When you walk into a new job, you can feel like you don’t have a handle on anything. It’s all new territory, you don’t know which coworkers to avoid and which ones to befriend and you don’t know about the glitches in the computer systems. But the one thing you feel like you can control is your figure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Meeting an online date in real life

Even though this person has already seen plenty full body photos of you, and even shared in a few Skype sessions with you, you want to surprise him on this first date. You want to walk in and have him think, “She’s even hotter in person!” But you already got him on the date, just as you are, so don’t show up hangry. Then he’ll feel like you pulled a personality switch on him.

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