Just like you’re scrutinizing the profile of every man who likes your page, sends you a wink, is a match or catches your attention online, men are doing the same to your page. Have you ever loved a guy’s online dating profile, but been put off by one little element? Every single detail was checking out but then one thing threw everything off for you. It really was a shame. You almost wanted to ask the guy, “Why did you put a photo of you and another woman on vacation on your profile? You looked so great otherwise!” but you didn’t, because that would be intrusive. The reverse may be happening to you every day, too. Men may look at your page, but see one little thing that makes them think twice about reaching out. Let’s take a look at ways to edit your profile to attract serious partners.
Don’t be done up in every photo
If you want to show that you’re willing to show every side of yourself then actually show every side of yourself. Only posting photos in which you look perfect and have clearly spent an hour putting yourself together tells the world that you aren’t comfortable showing your imperfect sides—inside and out. Only posting gorgeous selfies will inevitably attract superficial men.
Avoid complaining about players
You don’t want any players. You’ve dealt with enough little boys. You’re tired of men who use you and leave. That’s understandable but, unfortunately, you shouldn’t post that on your profile. If you set up your profile correctly, you won’t need to worry about players coming your way. But having a “no players” sign on your profile could also scare away serious guys who worry you’re angry with men.
Watch the interests you list
Tequila-tasting, pilates, shopping, and Zumba. None of those sound bad standing alone, but when you see them all in a row like that (the way you will on your profile) it sounds like you’re all about having the perfect bod, getting drunk, looking good and having the perfect bod again. Unfortunately, sometimes the truth about your interests can make you sound superficial even if you aren’t. I mean, come on; tequila-tasting and shopping are amazing. But for the sake of your online dating profile, edit.
Don’t state that you’re “very independent”
Once again, if you write your profile correctly, you won’t need to worry about clingy men coming your way. But if you go out of your way to state that you’re “very independent” it can sound like you’re not really open to intimacy or a close relationship. It almost sounds like you’re saying, “Leave me alone.”
Watch your bio word count
In the hopes of not being long-winded, you may accidentally keep your biography too short, but that screams of, “I’m here for a hookup, so you don’t need to know much about me.” On the flip side, don’t take the stubborn stance that any man worth your attention will be willing to read 1000 words about you when he has (just like you do) thirty profiles to get to in a half hour. Around 200 words is a sweet spot.
Don’t bash online dating
If you are embarrassed about online dating that’s something you’re going to have to come to terms with privately. You can’t put things like, “I can’t believe I’m online dating” or “This is my last resort” on your profile. Don’t forget that the men looking at your profile are also online dating. Do you really want your profile to suggest that any man on there is a loser?
Don’t call online dating “fun” or “something new to try”
Even if you’re new to online dating, do not tell people that it’s basically an experiment for you. Stating that you’re just online dating to try something new makes it sound like you aren’t being very discerning about who you talk to, but you’re just excited to try the process in general. Nobody wants to be your guinea pig.
Check grammar, for goodness sake
If you can’t dedicate ten minutes to proof reading your profile then how is anyone supposed to trust you to take 40 to 60 years to spend your life with them? Invest as much time into creating your profile as you would into a first coffee date. Like a first coffee date, your profile is essentially a screening process.
Talk more about yourself than partners
Listing off all of the qualities your future partner must have makes you sound picky and judgmental. Furthermore, it makes it sound like you don’t take any responsibility for your failed relationships—that you assume all failed relationships happened because the other person wasn’t perfect. Focus more on telling people who you are in your profile than who they should be, and the right people will come.
Do not up-play your hotness
Maybe you are tired of men only dating you for your looks. Maybe you can’t stand one more message that starts with, “Hi sexy.” Unfortunately, you can’t say this in your profile. You’re just being honest, but you come off as conceited. It reads a little like, “Oh poor me I’m so attractive.”
Be modest in income requirements
Maybe you know you need someone with a certain income in order to build a life together. Do not, however, state this income level in your profile. It reads a bit, well, gold-digger-esque. Besides, you can deduce from someone’s profile, or one conversation, what they do for a living and around how much they make.
Be real about your work
If your work is your life, don’t flat out say that, but let men know that you’re very passionate about your work and dedicated to your career. Failing to mention that can draw in men who are hoping you’ll just be an accessory to their life and career, rather than be your own career woman. Stating how much your work means to you can provide a nice filter for controlling men, or even men who don’t have many responsibilities and want to party all of the time.
No, “Let’s see where this goes…”
You will see where it goes. You don’t need to state that you want to, “See where this goes…” I can’t exactly tell you why, but it sounds like you’re open to orgies or polygamy or a friends with benefit situation. Just read the sentence again—you’ll get it.
Respond in a timely manner
This is just basic courtesy but respond to men in a timely manner. If you can’t take just 15 minutes a day responding to your messages, how can someone believe you can spend several hours on a date? If you want people who are worth your time then show them you think they’re worth your time, too.
Keep your profile as positive as possible. Remember that sentences that just sound measured in real life like, “I have such a full life—I don’t want to spend it alone” sound dramatic and sad online. In order to avoid men looking to prey on depressed women, don’t sound depressed online.