Is Your Partner Immaturely Attached To His Friends? - Page 2
Bigstockphoto.com/Fashionable young men laughing and hanging out.
Bromances are a real thing and in some cases a real problem—like when your partner’s bromance with his friends is stronger than his romance with you. It’s great that your partner has friends he has known for years and feels very attached to. That means he is at least moderately stable since he hasn’t burnt all those bridges. But some guys can be too attached to their group of guy friends to the point where their friends get more attention and devotion than their romantic partner. Their long-term romantic partner. If this sounds like a guy you’re dating, then you know the struggle is real. His friends are fun, hilarious and endearing but also…one of them once tried to drunkenly sleep in the same bed as you and your boo. And your boo didn’t say no. So, is your partner immaturely attached to his friends? Here are the signs.
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He must bring them on vacations
Anytime you suggest a trip, your partner immediately says, “Great! I’ll email the guys!” It doesn’t occur to him that maybe you were hoping for a romantic, one-on-one trip. But you let the guys come and before you know it they have planned the whole itinerary for the trip you came up with.
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They’re his emergency contacts
Not you. Not his live-in girlfriend. Not even his mom or dad or siblings. Nope. Paul “Whiskey Tits” Samson is his emergency contact. That is exactly how he wrote it on the emergency contact form. “Whiskey Tits” and all. Nobody has every told you where the nickname came from—they just burst into fits of laughter when you ask.
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They’re his “doctors”
Before your partner considers seeing a doctor, he texts a photo of his, er, situation to all of his buddies and asks them to analyze it. If they say he’s fine, he doesn’t look into it further. If they WebMD it and tell him it’s this or that, he follows their instructions.
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He texts them constantly
At dinner, when he’s riding shot gun, when he is driving, during your cousin’s Briss, during your best friend’s wedding, during your mammogram…He must keep his buddies informed of every funny thought that pops into his head at every single moment. Once he stopped foreplay because he thought of something funny to text his friends.
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His email threads with them keep him at work late
He consistently comes home late from work because he got caught up sending funny videos to his friends all day long, and forgot to finish his tasks. You’ve eaten dinner alone because of panda bear videos.
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He wants one to move in
He softly but regularly pitches the idea of one moving into your guest room. “It could be fun! Like a commune!” he says. Speaking of a commune, he is already planning the one that you will (apparently) be retiring on with him and all of his friends one day.
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He tries to bring them home for Christmas
When you and your boyfriend visit your family for Christmas, he begs you to let him bring one of his friends along. “He’ll be all alone otherwise!” he says. So you’ve had to explain to your parents why some guy named Tod needs a place setting at the holiday dinner.
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He can’t just hang with your friends
It’s impossible to get him just to hang out with your friends. He always wants to make it a giant group thing where he invites his friends. God forbid he takes one evening to focus a little attention on your social circle. It’s hard for him to understand why he can’t bring his buddies out any time you go to a bar or restaurant.
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He doesn’t like when they get girlfriends
He gets noticeably jealous when his friends get girlfriends. He worries that those girlfriends will take away from his time with his friends. He doesn’t realize the hypocrisy in the fact that he has a girlfriend.
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But insists you befriend their girlfriends
When his partners do get girlfriends, he insists you become best friends with them. The idea of you not getting along with them causes him severe anxiety because it ruins his idea of that retirement commune he’s been planning.
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He house hunts based on their neighborhoods
When you start looking to move, your partner blatantly only looks at homes in the neighborhoods where his friends live. He’s willing to live in a tiny, dilapidated house if it means living next door to his best friend even if you two could afford a really nice place just 15 minutes away.
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He throws them surprise parties
He will dedicate months of planning and financial resources to throwing his best friend the perfect surprise party. For your birthday, you got a gift card to a massage place and some Flan.
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He obsesses over their problems
He can’t focus on date night because his friend is going through a breakup or recently lost his job. He just keeps brainstorming ways to help his friend. That’s very nice, but you spent three hours making dinner and you wouldn’t mind if he noticed that.
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He’d lend them your joint money
He has asked you many times if the two of you can invest in his buddies’ (rather silly) business ideas. He believes all of his friends are geniuses and that all of their half-baked schemes will take off.
