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If your spouse holds another person’s hand, is that a problem? And if you have a problem with it does that automatically mean that you don’t trust them and you’re insecure?

That’s been the conversation behind a picture of actor Lance Gross and glo-up queen Lil Mama, who star together in the new TV One biopic When Love Kills: The Falicia Blakely Story.

Lil Mama Lance Gross holding hands


At the American Black Film Festival premiere of the TV movie earlier this month in Miami Beach, the rapper/actress stood among her co-stars on the red carpet for pictures. At one point, she is seen next to Gross, who plays her character’s toxic love interest in the upcoming film. In case you missed it, he is married to stylist Rebecca Jefferson and the couple have a daughter named Berkeley. But back to the picture.

Lil Mama and Gross hold hands at one point and it looks like nothing, but I guess that depends on what photos you get to see and who you’re talking to. The ShadeRoom shared this image of the pair holding hands, much different from the one above, and asked the question of whether or not it was inappropriate:


The conversation expanded further than The ShadeRoom comment section, popping up on Lipstick Alley and other forums. The responses were mixed. A lot of people believed the image to be innocent.

“I don’t see anything wrong if there was something to hide they would not be doing it publicly,” one commenter said. “It’s innocent, people must relax. No one ‘owns’ anyone at the end of the day.”

“Harmless,” another stated. “And if it’s harm he’s the one holding her hand… always trying to make lil mama the scapegoat.”

But there were others who felt that it was too much on the part of both parties.

“Issa nooooooooo,” someone wrote. “Idc what type of damn relationship they have my man, scratch that my HUSBAND is not another woman’s support system get through the night or go home.”

“It isn’t just the hand holding its how they are looking into each other’s eyes to [sic],” another person said. “Very inappropriate.”

But if you ask me, I don’t see this hand-holding moment as an improper one. Without much of a backstory, if someone tells you he’s married and Lil Mama is not his wife, it would make sense to raise an eyebrow. However, with proper context, knowing that they worked on this project together, knowing that Lil Mama hasn’t had the chance to star in many projects and then stand front and center on a red carpet at the premiere to represent it, you can see why it might be more of a moment of support than anything else. And as the aforementioned commenter pointed out, if they were doing something inappropriate behind the scenes, they likely wouldn’t tip us off by getting in front of cameras and holding hands.

But that’s not the first time co-stars getting close to one another to show love on the red carpet was read as inappropriate. If you’ll recall, Keke Palmer’s confession of a past crush on her Brotherly Love co-star Cory Hardrict made her interactions with him somewhat controversial to people. Those “people” included his wife, Tia Mowry.

is this petty holding hands

Nicky Nelson/

When Mowry heard about Palmer’s crush statements, which she revealed while doing press for the film, Mrs. Hardrict tweeted, “Saying you like married men in interviews in [sic] not cute…Just saying…” before deleting it.

But Palmer made it clear during an appearance on the Wendy Williams Show that she’s nobody’s homewrecker.

“What happened was, I’ve known Cory since I was 10-years-old,” she said. “He auditioned for Akeelah and The Bee to play my big brother in the film. And in the interview I was talking about how the whole Brotherly Love cast, we kind of grew up together…And I was like ‘I’ve known Cory since I was 10 and I was like I’m going to marry this man,’ as a 10-year-old. It was me quoting how I was as a kid.”

“That’s not my style,” she added. “But I do love Cory. I do love Cory and Tia.”

While it may not always be the case (i.e., Brad and Angelina), in Hollywood, it seems that comments of admiration, co-stars holding hands and other affectionate moments don’t necessarily mean that a man and woman are doing more than just being friends. Hell, they could even just be drumming up publicity for their project. Either way, to be that out in the open with it makes the likelihood of an affair all the less likely.

But what about everyday men and women who have no movies to promote, no serious projects to celebrate on red carpets and no reason to stand nervously together in front of the public? Is it still not a big deal if your man holds the hand of another woman and vice versa?

Again, I need context. Call me a hypocrite, but if he’s not helping her down some stairs, into a car or across the street, then that’s definitely going to be a no. Just walking jolly down the street holding hands? Make that a hell no. Even if you find out that your partner isn’t having an inappropriate relationship with this woman or man, just out of respect, why are they holding hands with someone else? Do you know how big of a deal holding hands is for some people? There are women in relationships with men right now who won’t hold their hand when they walk in public. There are people who will have sex with someone but still won’t hold their hand. Melania Trump barely likes to hold her husband’s

There is a strong level of intimacy to hand-holding, hence the reason some people prefer to lock arms or just walk closely when they’re not ready for that “step.” So with that being said, a quick hand squeeze to provide reassurance, comfort, affection or aid to someone may not be a big deal, but if you catch your partner holding hands with someone and neither party seems to be letting go anytime soon, there is cause for pause…

But as usual, that’s just my opinion. What say you? Is a person in a committed relationship holding hands with or holding on tight to someone else inappropriate? 

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