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romantic happy young multiethnic couple enjoying morning coffee by the window in their luxury home

Some women are addicted to the chase. That sounds fun, in theory—it sounds active and adventurous. But only taking joy in the pursuit of love, rather than in love itself, is actually a sign of some underlying emotional issues. If you are not attracted to someone for the simple purpose that they are attracted to you, then by simple math, that means you are, in some way, not attracted to yourself. Meanwhile, if you’re extremely attracted to someone who rejects and avoids you, that means you have the greatest respect and admiration for people who do not respect or admire you. That’s not how it should be. When you love yourself, you only like people who see the good in you—because you see it! So, do you only want men who don’t want you back? Here are the signs.

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You approach men surrounded by women

If you see a man at a bar or party who is surrounded by women, you make it your goal to get that man’s attention. He stands out to you like a bright, pulsating light. Getting a man’s attention is no fun unless a dozen other women want it, too.

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