As a grown woman, I’ve come to understand that people have their own personal preferences when it comes to, well, everything, including how they have sex. So maybe I’m getting old and have been out of the loop for too long to ask this question, but when did choking become a turn on for women? I hate the abstract idea of feeling “suffocated,” so to be physically restricted from breathing is a definite ‘hell naw” for me. But according to Instagram posts, it’s all the rage–no pun intended. Just take a look at these memes for example:
Rihanna proudly sang about S&M on her 2011 album, Loud. Sadomasochism is giving or receiving pleasure from acts involving the infliction of pain. Those participating in S&M are seeking sexual gratification — but since when does gasping for oxygen equate to a good time? I can’t help but notice when I peruse Instagram, most women sharing these choking memes are younger — like high schoolers — with a good amount of 20- and early 30-somethings posting such puzzling images as well. So my question isn’t so much about choking as it is whether young women are no longer able to decipher real love from abuse?
There is nothing glamorous about physical abuse in any relationship. There is a gargantuan difference between a woman who “likes it rough” and one who is allowing herself to be roughhoused because Social Media says it’s okay. When it comes to the latter, I worry that these women are seeking pain because they are accustomed to some form of abuse and have decided that it’s not only sexy, but normal. The same can be said of the men who oblige such fantasies or plant the initial seed needed to carry out the act. I’m no psychologist or mathematician, but that’s what I get when I put two and two together.
The phrase “too each his own” sums up how most grown folks feel about each others’ behavior between the sheets, but when it comes to young women entertaining this type of abuse-rooted affection it’s worth questioning whether the desire really is her own or a result of never experiencing love’s fresh air.