Why Couples Fight So Much While Wedding Planning
When you hear of a couple calling off their wedding, your brain jumps to something dramatic. Maybe the long-lost lover of one came back, or one of them confessed they were gay. Perhaps one admitted to cheating, or to being in love with the other person’s best friend. But not every canceled wedding looks like a scene in a soap opera. Sometimes, couples just call off the wedding because planning the damned thing is causing too many arguments! You’ll notice some couples call off the wedding but stay together—it wasn’t their relationship that was the issue, it was the big day. They realized they were happier before they got engaged, so why not just go back to the way things were? If you’re just getting started on planning your big day, then be aware: here is why couples fight so much while planning their weddings.
The in-laws are too involved
Somebody’s in-laws are talking about this wedding like it’s their own wedding. Every time the couple has dinner with them, it’s all wedding talk, and every sentence sounds something like, “I’ve already made the arrangements for you guys” or “You should do this.”
Nobody will stand up to them
What makes matters worse is the child of those in-laws won’t stand up to her parents. This leaves her groom feeling like she’d rather not upset her parents than make her groom happy on his wedding day.
They can’t agree on the guest list
One person has a much larger family, and the other thinks they should have an equal amount of guests. Of course, the person with the large family doesn’t want to exclude anybody.
They want the money to go different places
One person thinks a large chunk of money should go to the perfect venue; another thinks it should go to the best DJ. Then one person thinks they should invest in an open bar, while the other would rather put that money towards the fanciest catering company.
One wants to keep it small; one doesn’t
One person envisions a giant bash with everyone they’ve ever known, and the other just wants a small gathering of the closest friends and family. The first person feels like their dreams are being smashed, while the second person feels like a bunch of strangers may witness one of their most important milestones.
Making decisions without each other
Tension is high, and deciding on something as small as the colors of the flowers on the tables without the other’s consent can cause a blowout fight. Of course, they aren’t fighting about the flowers, but rather the overall feeling that one person takes more ownership over this wedding.
The bride wants her man more involved
Speaking of taking ownership over the wedding, it’s very common for the bride to wish her groom were more involved in the planning. But let’s be real: at the end of the day, men just don’t know as much about color schemes and centerpieces made from ocean stones.
Everything is about the wedding
Every conversation has been about the wedding. What is meant to be date night turns into opening laptops, looking up vendors, and talking about the wedding. Both people become irritated that they’ve lost their identity as a couple.
A lack of sympathy for each other’s stress
Both people feel like they’re under a tremendous amount of stress and rather than try to find ways to relax each other, they end up playing the, “I’m more stressed out than you game.” This leaves them feeling distant.
The dress can be one of the biggest expenses of the wedding, but should it be? The bride will only wear it once. Meanwhile, their guests might keep the memories of the great DJ or the take-home gifts for a lifetime. These are types of arguments that might come up.
Having it near his family or hers
“Why should it be near your family? I have more family so it makes sense to fly a smaller amount of group to the location.” “Oh yeah? Well your family is wealthier, so they can afford to fly to the destination.”
Special demands of guests
The groom thinks they should dedicate a small budget to having an on-care daycare since a lot of guests have children; the bride thinks the guests should just find their own babysitters and leave the kids at home.
This is, naturally, a big one. Even if neither the bride nor groom are particularly attached to having their religion or culture represented at the wedding, they know they could destroy family ties if they aren’t represented.
All the money has to be for the wedding
As a couple, you feel like you cannot afford to even go out for one fancy dinner or one weekend getaway because you have the giant expense of the wedding coming up.
Ah the prenup: it’s one of those things you’re glad you have when you need it, but you hope to never need. If one person brings it up, the other person feels like they already think this marriage will fail.