How Men Tell You They Feel Neglected
Men aren’t always great at letting you know when they want more attention. They’re brought up being told that they need no one, and that they are supposed to be the providers (of everything from resources to emotional support). Their insistence on being stoic even when they’re dying for a little TLC only compounds the issue because when you ask them, “Is everything okay?” they’ll tell you, “Never been better!!” So you think you can go on about your busy life, and continue to put off date night, snuggling, sex, and a good long talk for later. Of course, men do need their partners to pay attention to them, but since they may not feel comfortable saying that, they have to find other ways to show it. So, ladies, this is how men tell you that they feel neglected (without really telling you).
He’s cracking jokes about your (lack of) sex life
He’s been quite the comedian lately, making jokes whenever he can about the fact that the two of you barely have sex. He seems to think it’s the funniest topic, and one he should bring up over dinner with friends and to the barista making your coffee—really anyone who will listen.
He says, “Never mind. I can tell now’s not a good time”
He often cuts himself off at the beginning of his own story and says, “Never mind. I can tell now’s not a good time.” In fact, he hasn’t gotten halfway through a story in a long time. It’s because he can tell you’re not listening—he wants you to say, “I’m listening! Now’s a great time!”
He’s disappointed when you invite friends along
If you tell your partner that you invited friends to come with you to dinner or on your hike or on your trip, his face instantly drops and he’s noticeably sad. That’s because he’s craving alone time with you.
He’s desperately trying to include you in his hobbies
It seems like every hour he’s inviting you to some convention, lecture, exhibit, movie or class that has to do with his hobbies. He tries to sell you on them like it’s his job. He just wants you to know more about what’s happening in his life.
He’s showing up at your work
He never used to show up at your work, but now he’s there—with a picnic lunch, or his own laptop and the idea that he could, “Just work next to you for a while.”
He’s spending more time with his female friends
The poor guy just misses the feminine attention, so he has to get it elsewhere. You’d swear he was one of the girls by the way he was joining them for brunch, Pilates, shopping…
He tries to help when he isn’t needed
Every time you turn around, he’s there, trying to see if he can help in anyway. He tries to cut the vegetables for dinner that have already been cut and help you with a crossword puzzle when you didn’t ask for help.
He makes mundane moments romantic
He is making heart-shaped pancakes in the morning and playing romantic music in the bathroom when you’re both just brushing your teeth.
He’s tried to surprise you with sex
For the first time ever recently, he tried to get in the shower with you and get it on while you were getting ready for work. He even suggested a quickie when you were parked in your parent’s driveway before dinner.
There’s an influx of texts and emails
The cutesie and funny texts just won’t stop coming. You’re wondering how he has time to do anything else since he’s apparently looking up memes to send you every half hour.
He’s doing “man stuff”
Chopping wood, working on the car, doing push-ups in the middle of the dining room floor etc. This is what happens when men realize they’re being needy, then feel embarrassed about it, and need to reassert their manliness.
He gives up on arguing
He apparently has no more opinion on which new sofa you should buy, where you should have dinner or who you should invite over for the holidays. That’s because he knows you don’t listen to him anyways.
He always wants to know what you’re up to
When men feel neglected, the paranoia can sneak in. If your partner isn’t usually jealous or paranoid but has suddenly become so, he probably just feels like you don’t pay enough attention to him.
He’s been saying you two should get away
He’s really been pushing for a vacation, just the two of you. And on the weekends, when you want to hop out of bed to go to the gym, he keeps saying you should both stay in and have a staycation.
He doesn’t want houseguests
He can’t get your attention in his own home so he’ll be damned if he lets your friends and family come stay there and get your attention.