Has rising up the corporate ladder affected your sex life? According to Dr. Andrea Pennington, an integrative physician, meditation teacher, and sex educator, it most likely has–and has so negatively. In fact, she says not only that, but Black women have lost their femininity due to the demands of the corporate world.
She says that African-American women have become Alpha Bs or Alpha Bosses. In other words, they have adopted masculine ways to get ahead in the office, and this has affected their womanhood in the home. “Alpha Bosses are those women who have channeled ‘masculine energy’ to get ahead in realms that have long been dominated by (and still are) sexism and overt masculinity. So Alpha Bosses aggressively pursue their objectives while rarely tapping into their feminine spirit,” says Dr. Pennington, who has been a TEDx speaker and appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show, Dr. Oz show, and CNN. According to her, many women are missing out on having “mind-blowing climaxes” because of this “masculine energy.”
Dr. Pennington has even written a book on the subject. The Orgasm Prescription For Women aims to help “women tap into and reclaim their right to pleasure, to break free from limiting beliefs or shame, guilt and self-loathing of the past.” The book also includes information on Western medicine, Chinese medicine, positive psychology, and mindfulness meditation and is centered around a 21-day program, which Dr. Pennington claims, “helps women to open the door to sexual fulfillment, sensual expression, increased intimacy, and more fulfilling orgasms.“
MadameNoire got more insight on this sexually deprived theory from Dr. Pennington. Here’s what she had to say.
MadameNoire (MN): What prompted you to write The Orgasm Prescription For Women?
Dr. Andrea Pennington (AP): A few years ago I appeared on The Dr. Oz Show to talk about serious diseases found in women over 40, like diabetes and high blood pressure, which often go untreated or are missed due to women failing to recognize or simply dismissing the symptoms. Many people were shocked to hear me say on the show that I recommended my patients have at least three orgasms a week.
To tell the truth, the female orgasm started out as a clever gauge of overall health and wellness. Using the sexual response as an indicator of physical health quickly became an opening for honest discussions about intimacy, pleasure and sexual satisfaction for my clients and members of our online wellness community.
Following that episode I was inundated with calls and emails from women wanting to understand why I suggested three orgasms a week and whether three is the minimum or maximum? If their blood sugar was normal but they still couldn’t achieve orgasm what else could be wrong? Women opened up by telling me about their problems initiating sex due to low desire. I heard many tales of woe from ladies who had adequate desire but low arousal and vaginal lubrication with previously pleasurable stimuli. Other women even expressed frustration that after orgasm they became moody and irritated with their partner for weeks! And so many women expressed deep despair that a lack of sex caused a rift in the precious relationship with their partners.
So, in addition to providing a barometer of well-being, today I see the orgasm is an indicator of personal empowerment, self-acceptance and self-love and an affirmation of one’s right to enjoy pleasure in one’s body and overall life.
For the last several years I have gathered and analyzed the feedback from my patients and conducted focus groups with women who wanted more pleasure and passion in their lives. I have also interviewed sexologists, therapists and my mind-body medicine colleagues to gain new insights to better help women understand how their libido, arousal system and orgasm work, what blocks them from becoming aroused or prevents them from achieving orgasm, and how to create a personalized prescription for enhanced sensual pleasure and greater, more reliable sexual satisfaction.
This has enabled women to improve their sexual health and well-being on multiple levels, while dramatically enhancing the communication with their beloved, deepening intimacy and even saving their marriages and partnerships.
AP: The Orgasm Prescription for Women is meant to empower you, the beautiful deserving woman you are, to know and embrace your sexual self and to find your sexual voice so that you can become an advocate for your own pleasure. Your ability to act on behalf of your sexual needs, desires, and wishes will enable you to have healthy, satisfying intimate relationships with your partners. The orgasm that comes from this investigative play is a bonus.
In The Orgasm Prescription, you will uncover what impedes your orgasm and how to get help as needed. Together we will help you identify clues about your own psychology, hormone status, and brain chemistry so that you can work alone, with your partner, or with a doctor or therapist to get you back into an orgasmic flow. You can now boldly investigate and experiment with strategies to balance your inner and outer chemistry, get direct input from your body, and accept permission to make your pleasure a priority.
MN: Please explain why you feel African-American women are oftentimes put in the category of “Alpha B.”
AP: Many African-American women have stepped up to run their own companies or take positions in the C-suite of corporations, all while being a devoted mom, sister, or daughter. And because many corporations or start-up environments are dominated by a masculine or sexist mentality, they have taken on behaviors and attitudes that allow them to be seen as strong and capable around men. They have risen to the top and are seen as Alpha Bosses, or Alpha B, for short.
Many of us have put our feminine qualities to the side to avoid being perceived as weak or emotional. Whether consciously or not, many African-American women are now seen as aggressive, domineering ‘Alpha B-tches’. Not all of us are, of course, but there’s enough that there is a popular understanding of the term. Some are just called ‘angry Black women.’
MN: What are the pluses and minuses of being seen as an “Alpha B”?
AP: We, of course, are powerful and able to get stuff done with all of the masculine energy and we tend to realize more of our creative potential as a result. However, the downside is that we may lose touch with our feminine allure and find it difficult to ‘be the girl’ in our heterosexual relationships. Many “Alpha Bosses” have trouble connecting with their man on a deep, intimate level (because Alpha Bosses are frequently disconnected from their own sexuality). Sex becomes more of a routine – almost animatronic – performance, instead of an experience gushing with orgasmic pleasure. Emotional connection is often important for sexual satisfaction, so this lack of connection puts a strain on the Alpha Boss’s sex life.
Men will often feel they are not needed and valued anymore and may even feel intimidated and emasculated by a female Alpha B.
MN: How does African-American women’s sexuality or perceived sexuality affect Black women in the workplace?
AP: In the workplace, many African-American women tell me that they are feared or revered. They are seen as domineering and aggressive but they are not necessarily seen as sexually feminine. Instead, they are seen as a femme fatale, much like the female praying mantis, which is known to chew their mates’ head off during or after sex. It’s a running joke which is so not funny.
MN: How can one shed (or should they shed) “masculine energy”?
AP: All of us, both men and women, have a combination of masculine and feminine energy. So the goal is never to eliminate one or the other entirely. Instead, it’s about finding a healthy balance and certainly involves not denying your innate tendencies. So keep the masculine energy that makes you effective and productive, but be aware of your need to embrace your divine feminine energy, too.
As I spoke about on a recent episode of Sensual Vitality-TV, there are several activities or “rituals” you can do that’ll help you transform from a hard-driving Queen Bee to a purring, sex kitten when sexy time comes around. You can re-capture your feminine energy when you want, and you’ll be more receptive to hot, fulfilling sex.
The easiest way to implement these practices into lasting habits is by performing 21 days of sensuality and pleasure rituals. I’ve created a free online version based on the 21-day program in The Orgasm Prescription, which includes audio meditations and daily affirmations. Most women tell me the Erotic Fantasy Meditation really helps!
I also highly recommend having an “I Love My Body” week. This is where you get back in tune with that luscious feminine part of you! Here’s what you do: for one whole week, you’ll dress yourself up, put on your perfume, and adorn yourself as if you’re a sensual goddess. Hook up your favorite speaker and play some music you love – and dance away, around your house (with or without your partner)! Why? Because, by doing so, you’ll be learning your body – learning the sexy, sensual aspect of your being – and you’ll do it in a way that’s playful and loving to yourself. This practical activity helps you appreciate yourself for all of your beautiful, feminine sexuality.