Things Cynics Say About Relationships (And Why You Shouldn’t Listen)

February 9, 2017  |  
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Cynics have their purpose for sure. Sometimes, when you’re flying too high or letting your fantasies get the best of you, it’s good to talk to your cynical friend so she can bring you back down to earth.

But don’t forget that you probably act as your own cynic plenty enough. If negative thoughts have been frightening you from dating, intimidating you from ending a bad relationship or committing further to a good one, or simply rendering you kind of b-tchy in your dating life, you don’t need your cynical friends in your ear, adding to the chaos. They may still be there though, so be prepared. Here are things all cynics say and why they’re wrong.

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“I’m just telling it like it is.”

Cynics love to work under the guise of being honest and open. Yup, somehow the friend who just made you feel really down and depressed is also claiming they deserve some reward for honesty.

 

 

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Why you shouldn’t listen

Maybe they are telling it as it is but the truth is if we all “told it like it is” most people would be too gloomy all of the time to try to change the way things are. Reiterating the negative state of things is a not productive. You know how it is, now swiftly move past it and ask yourself how you can change how it is—whatever that might be.

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“People never change.”

Cynics love to believe people never change. If you’re considering getting back with a boyfriend you dated years ago because he seems to have changed, your cynic friend will tell you you’re a moron.

 

 

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Why you shouldn’t listen

Cynics take comfort in stating that people never change because that gives them an excuse to remain lazy about their self-destructive habits and never change themselves. People can change; it’s probably just the cynics who can’t.

 

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“In every relationship, somebody is settling.”

Don’t sit next to a cynic at a wedding because they’ll point out all of the ways the bride or groom is too good for the other, and clearly just settling so they won’t end up alone.

 

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Why you shouldn’t listen

Cynics say this because they probably always settle. Why? Because they do not love themselves and are not brave enough to do the personal work it takes to love oneself and then pursue the people you actually want to be with. When two, whole, happy, self-loving people come together, nobody has to settle.

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“She’s with him for the money.”

If one person in a relationship is very wealthy, you better believe your cynic friend will tell you the relationship only exists because the poorer person wants the wealthier person’s money.

 

 

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Why you shouldn’t listen

The cynic is just jealous! Does it totally rock to fall madly in love with someone who happens to be able to provide a comfortable life? Totally! But cynics can’t stand the possibility that a person could have their cake and eat it too (i.e. truly love a rich man). Why? Because they personally are so worried about what others think that they intentionally write off wealthy men who they actually really like for fear of having the same thing said about them.

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“You have to protect yourself.”

Another guise cynics love; being the “protector.” They tell you not to tell someone you like them, not to be affectionate and not to be giving because you may get hurt.

 

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Why you shouldn’t listen

The cynic is weak! They probably have been affectionate, got shot down, and were never able to get over it and realize it wasn’t personal. You, however, are strong. You know the only way to find a good relationship is to put yourself out there and if your feelings aren’t reciprocated, it’s not personal—it doesn’t have to destroy you the way it did the cynic.

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“Everyone is guilty until proven innocent.”

Cynics are impossible to talk to if you don’t know them—don’t have them play your wing women. They approach new men as if they’re interrogating them about a crime. Their entire approach to life revolves around the fact that most people are sh*tty and should be treated as such until they prove otherwise.

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Why you shouldn’t listen

Cynics behave like this so that they don’t (God forbid!) be nice to someone who didn’t deserve it. Cynics are always playing an immature game—they never want to be “got.” If they treat men like they’re all jerks, then they can be right when men turn out to be jerks. But you know what else? They’ll repel all the nice guys, too.

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“You should check his phone.”

Cynics love doing crazy things like checking boyfriends’ phones, email accounts, Facebooks and so on. They believe everyone is up to something and the way you “win” in this life is to prevent them from being up to something or catch them in the act.

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Why you shouldn’t listen to them

Cynics cannot experience a happy relationship for this exact reason. Relationships aren’t about one person winning and one losing; they’re about everyone wanting the same thing and achieving that (hopefully, loyalty). Cynics, however, choose men they can’t trust so that those men can fulfill the cynic’s preconditioned ideas about men. It’s dizzying, I know.

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“You spend too much time with your boyfriend.”

Cynics love to tell women who are in happy relationships that they’ve become terrible friends. If your cynic is gossiping about somebody, you can bet it’s someone in a happy relationship.

 

 

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Why you shouldn’t listen

The reality that people can just be in happy relationships without it disrupting their world or somehow throwing things off balance is too painful for cynics. Why? Because they haven’t found that for themselves. So their brain rejects the idea by always finding fault in people who are in happy relationships i.e. they’ve become bad friends.

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