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When you first start dating someone, you just think about things like, “Does he make me laugh? Is there a physical attraction? Do we share the same values? Do I feel excited around him? Does he have his life at least somewhat together?” Those are certainly important characteristics of any working relationship, and they create the groundwork for something that can really grow. But one thing we often overlook until it’s too late (aka we’re really attached to the person and breaking up would hurt a lot) is how ambitious our partner is.

I’m not talking about success or quick results because the truth is we have little control over when our big break comes. What we can control, however, is how much work and passion we put into our goals. And if you put a lot into yours, but your partner puts little into his…or doesn’t even have goals…your relationship may hit a dead end. Here is the trouble with dating someone less ambitious than yourself.

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They won’t be as social

If you’re career- and goal-oriented, you’re pretty game to meet people and socialize. You like sharing ideas and making connections! Who knows what a new friend may bring. An unambitious partner will want to stay in more and will want you to stay in with him.

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