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People who tend to be on the shy side of insecure probably know when they’re acting insecure. They don’t try to cover it up or overcompensate for it; they just try to, well, hide. But then there are people who overcompensate for their insecurities by acting extremely confident, feigning enormous intelligence, and doing whatever they can to position themselves above others. They don’t know how to operate on the same level as other people; they fear so deeply that they are below people, that they do anything they can to appear better than them. So, if you’re someone who thought you were doing a good job at hiding your insecurities, you may find out that you’re actually putting them on display. And, if you’re on a date with, or getting to know somebody who displays these behaviors, take a little pity in them; they’re desperately insecure. Here are 19 behaviors that scream insecurity.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Needing to know what your friend is wearing

You cannot dress yourself for an event unless you know exactly what your friends are wearing. This includes simply going to get frozen yogurt. You dread looking like you “didn’t get the memo” on wardrobe.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Needing to know what your date is ordering

Instead of just ordering what you feel like ordering, you insist on knowing what your date is ordering. You want to know if he’s super healthy, if he likes international dishes, if he likes to indulge in fatty foods, and then you want to mimic him.
take him back

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Changing your mind a lot

Simply changing your mind a lot–from how you feel about a movie to how you feel about a major political issue-screams insecurity.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Asking 12 people for advice on the same thing

You cannot make one decision–small or large–without consulting 12 friends about it first. You’ll spend an entire day on back-to-back phone calls, telling everybody all the same details, over and over again.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Needing to approve the picture

You won’t let someone take a photo of you until you can stand on “your good side.” And you won’t let them post a photo until you’ve approved it. And you won’t leave them alone until they delete the photos you don’t like.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Gossiping

Partaking in gossip, whether that’s starting it or spreading it, screams insecurity. Secure people don’t really care about the private business of others. They don’t need to partake in making others look bad, to look good.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Listening to gossip

Even listening to gossip is insecure. Secure people will tell the gossiper to stop talking–even if it makes them look bitchy.

Running late because you’re getting ready

If it was more important to you to have perfect makeup than to get in your cab on time, pick up your friends on time, and ensure that five people got to see the movie they bought tickets for on time, then you’re very insecure. And a bit insensitive.
A troubled wife turns to Reddit for advice after struggling to forge a relationship with her new husband's ex.

Shutterstock

Talking constantly about yourself

People who are secure in themselves don’t need to sing their own praises to the world. They know their good attributes will come out naturally, whether they discuss them or not.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Never asking others about themselves

People who are insecure are usually too busy talking about (read: proving) themselves to ask other people about themselves.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Making everything about yourself

If someone does get a word in edgewise, the insecure person finds a way to make the story about themselves.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Getting defensive over things that don’t matter

If someone simply says something like, “You’ve been wearing the same perfume for ten years” you go into a rage, listing every other perfume you’ve ever bought. You always think the smallest comment about you is a criticism.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Needing lots of information about the event

You want to know who will be there, what type of music is playing, what the food is like, what the decor is like etc. You absolutely dread doing anything that would make you stand out too much, or look like you weren’t “in the know.”
don't judge challenge

Shutterstock

Telling your friends how to behave

Telling your friends to stop dancing, stop being so loud, or to just behave some way that isn’t natural to them makes you look insecure. It shows that you need to control your surroundings to feel secure.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Reading into everything

Believing that everything people say is some sort of dig at you, or has some deeper, secret meaning screams insecurity. And hey–maybe it does have a secret meaning, but that’s not your problem.
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Making things “right” with people who were wrong

Going out of one’s way to settle an argument with somebody who, quite frankly, is a s-tty person screams insecurity. It means you even need people who you don’t like, to like you.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Living in your phone if you’re alone

If you cannot just sit, happily, looking around the room when your date goes to the bathroom, but must instead look at your phone, you seem insecure.
couple in bed unhappy

Corbis

Taking things personally

When a roommate asks if you could just clean your dishes more often, you make the discussion about something else entirely–something personal.
Frustrated/angry black woman, fingers in ears

Shutterstock

Being unwilling to hear other’s opinions

Being very stubborn in your opinions, and rudely shutting anybody out who has a different opinion shows that you’re actually so fragile that just hearing a different opinion could hurt you.
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