Signs His Workaholism Has Gone Too Far
Workaholism interferes with a person’s life in many of the same ways any other type of addiction does. It can capture all of a person’s attention and thoughts, it can make one sleep deprived, lead to health problems, and it can destroy friendships and relationships—including romantic ones. A workaholic might be appealing when you first meet him because he also comes off as ambitious, responsible and intelligent. And he is all of those things! But workaholics are also not some things, like not home for dinner, not listening when you tell them about your day, not attentive to your texts and not capable of traveling without their laptop. So when you’re looking for an ambitious, financially responsible man, just make sure his dedication to his work doesn’t verge on workaholism because he won’t make much of a partner. Here are signs his workaholism has gone too far.
He’s not up to date on your work
He has no idea what’s going on at your job. Actually, in your life. He is behind on several major life updates, like your mom’s surgery and your friend’s engagement, because he never has more than ten minutes to talk when he gets home.
You always go to bed alone
You usually get into an empty bed at night because he crawls in way later, after working until 3 am. So much for all those happy hormones you get from snuggling and sex.
You always wake up alone
You wake up to an empty bed, too. Your partner left long before you woke. You’re starting to feel a little sad about eating breakfast by yourself.
He won’t call back for 12 hours
His work is so intense and all-consuming that he won’t respond to your calls or text for 12 hours. Sometimes longer. The worst part is that when he finally responds, he doesn’t even realize how long it’s been since you reached out.
He can’t even attend your best friend’s wedding
He cannot put work aside to attend your best friend’s or sister’s wedding or some event that only comes once in a lifetime.
His work comes before your wedding plans
If the two of you are engaged, he cannot take five minutes to pick a location or a cake. Work always gets in the way. How is he going to take an entire day off to get married?
He forgets important events
He forgets your birthday, your anniversary, the fact that you have a very important presentation today, or the fact that you’re going to a doctor’s appointment about which you’re nervous.
He zones out
When you’re talking to him, he usually zones out without noticing it. If you stop talking, it takes him a while to realize you’ve stopped.
He can’t make plans with you
It’s impossible for him just to agree to make a plan because he never knows if work will get in the way. He won’t so much as agree to brunch three weeks from now.
He refuses to turn his phone off
He won’t turn his phone off—not to sleep, not to have sex, and not to comfort you when you’re crying about something.
He works your entire vacation
If you manage to get him to take a trip with you, he works the entire time. He sits out the kayaking session to work; he has his laptop by the pool, and he makes work calls when you’re eating pancakes in bed.
He will only spend money on investments
It’s very difficult to get him to spend money on something that isn’t’ work related. If you’re choosing a vacation destination, he first vets the place to see if he can make work contacts while he’s there.
He judges your career path
His work is his life, and he judges you because your work isn’t your life. He starts to see your weekend brunches with friends as “unproductive” rather than healthy social engagements.
He tries to mold your career path
He goes out of his way to look up networking events you can go to, find out about classes that could further your career and get contact information of important people in your field. And you never asked him to do any of that…
He has no friends
He doesn’t have friends. He doesn’t have hobbies. He doesn’t have a social life. And what’s worse is that he doesn’t think that’s a problem.