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Men and money.

It’s the topic of conversation amongst many women I know. Sometimes the topics are spoken about separately, but many times they are somehow intertwined. For that group of women who are infatuated with the idea of having a lot of money, men who can accommodate their materialistic obsessions are usually the preference. Expensive cars, nice clothes, and a large amount of coins in the bank is what some women want; but is it also why some of them are single?

As I write this, I can’t help but think of my own past, which was rooted in materialism. Until I changed my thinking, I remained unhitched. I was too picky, but about all the wrong things. I worked hard, I dressed nice (at least I thought so), and I was always conjuring up ways to earn more money. I wanted a man who was just like me–but on steroids. I was enticed by the cars, the money, and the allure of luxury living. I was clearly materialistic but justified it with my work ethic and an I-make-my-own-money attitude. That is until I dated men who fit the bill superficially but lacked what I needed emotionally in a long-term relationship.

I remained this way for most of my 20s. I dated men who looked good on the outside but lacked substance internally. They sounded good if ever I wanted to brag about what they did and what they had, but ultimately, I never fell in love with any of them. And I was too materialistic to give any man who didn’t meet my oversimplistic requirements a fair chance. Once I reached 30, I realized if I kept dating this way, I wouldn’t be headed down anyone’s altar anytime soon.

Women I am acquainted with or meet, who are around my age, seem to fall into two categories: those who are materialistic and single and those who are less superficial and in a relationship. While I believe there is someone out there for almost everyone, I also think we miss out on good people because of shallow thinking.

Wanting nice clothes and cars and even striving for monetary gain isn’t necessarily a bad thing. That is not what materialism is. Those who are materialistic simply consider material possessions that can be provided more important than any other aspect of a person. It’s what the person has or how he looks that interests them most.

While many women won’t just come out and say they’re materialistic, there are many whose actions suggest otherwise. Could you be materialistic? Are you so consumed with a man’s outside traits that you bypass the ones that won’t be seen on social media? You know what I mean. If he’s a good guy who makes you happy and drives a Honda, he won’t look as good on Instagram as the man getting outside of the Maserati who you can barely stand to talk to.

In a progressively materialistic society, it’s easy to get caught up with things that really don’t matter. And for those who are superficial, this could easily impair your dating judgment; but you can’t help but wonder if it’s the reason some of us can’t truly find what we’re looking for.

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