It shouldn’t happen, but a lot of men can become intimidated when their partner starts making more money than them, earns more notoriety than them, or in some way becomes more successful than them. There’s a reason you see a lot of celebrity couples break up the moment the woman wins an Oscar or a Pulitzer Prize and the man, well, doesn’t. It’s sweet sorrow. You can lose somebody you thought you loved when you become successful, but you also learn that maybe that person wasn’t meant to be in your life in the first place and in that way, your success earned you more than just money—it earned you insight into your relationship. It is important to recognize if your partner is jealous of your success because if he is, he is probably holding you back. Whether you know it or not he’s draining you of energy, and messing with your confidence.
He asks if he has to come to your events
When you tell him your office is having a party or there is a work-related event you’d like him to come to his immediate response is, “Do I have to come?” As if it is a chore to support you.
When people compliment you to him
When your friends say, “Isn’t your girlfriend just incredible?” He looks exhausted and gives a, “Oh. Yeah.” Before going back to his cocktail.
He has actually said, “Enough about you…”
He has actually said, after you went on an excited rant about your career, “Okay enough about you. My turn.”
His friends know nothing of your success
When you briefly mention your success to his best friend who he talks to every day his best friend has clearly heard nothing about it.
His family knows nothing of your success
His family actually asks you questions that are so basic that you realize your boyfriend literally never talks to them about you. They ask you, “What is it that you do again?”
He doesn’t remember important dates
You’ve told him four times about the event on June 6th at 7 pm that is very important to your work. Come June 6th at 6:40 pm you find him in sweatpants playing video games.
He keeps you up late when you have to get up early
He tells you you’re a bad girlfriend for not staying up late with him, but you have to get up early for work…
He interrupts you
When you go into an excited rant about your work, he cuts you off. And he usually cuts you off to talk about something insignificant, like what type of toilet paper to buy. It’s his way of belittling what you do.
He has never thrown you a party/celebrated you
He has never once thrown you even the tiniest celebration over any of your accomplishments. In fact, once when you had something great happen, he asked you to pick him up some dinner on your way home.
He makes jokes about how you’re his sugar mama
He makes jokes to friends about how he can be lazy because you’re his sugar mama. You hear a tinge of resentment in them, though.
He raves about women less successful than you
He seems to go out of his way to talk about his “chill” or “easy going” friends who aren’t as career-oriented as you are. It’s like he’s trying to say that they’re better off.
He doesn’t want to have sex
If he’s feeling intimidated by your success, his libido will probably plummet. He may even make comments like, “You don’t have time to have sex—you have to get up early remember?”
Or he won’t finish during sex
If he’s been having a hard time finishing during sex ever since your career took off, it’s probably no coincidence.
He’s started drinking a lot
If your career success has shined a light on the fact that he isn’t doing much, he might become depressed and start drinking.
He’s started eating a lot
Maybe he won’t turn to booze, but he’ll turn to french fries and chicken wings instead. And Sour Patch Kids. And ice cream. And more French fries.