Where Are My Glasses?! Struggles Only People Who Wear Eyeglasses Understand

March 4, 2016  |  
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I haven’t had adequate vision since I was in the fourth grade. I knew something was up once it became harder and harder to read the chalkboard during class, and at first, I was actually excited. All the people in my immediate family wore glasses. Some to read, others all day, every day to see, and I thought I was being inducted into some elite club. A girl was going to get her first pair of glasses!

But they were the first of many.

I soon realized that while glasses can be cute, there is nothing awesome about not being able to see clearly. And since I’m both nearsighted and farsighted (with a dash of astigmatism), it’s really not where it’s at. So after struggling to find my glasses this morning, I thought it would be fun to discuss, with fellow bespectacled beings, certain issues (funny and not so comical) only people with bad vision understand.

Never Being Clean Enough Struggle

Your glasses are probably covered in marks and fingerprints as you read this. And tissues just never clear your lenses up the way you hope they would. And those microfiber wipes? Please. After a few swipes, they always end up greasy.

The Swimming Struggle

Should I wear my contacts? Should I go the goggle route? Should I just go without glasses altogether?

If you’ve ever traveled and been excited by the opportunity to dive in some beautiful blue water, only to not be sure how you’ll be able to see once you get in it, you know the bad vision struggle. I can attest to how a trip can be turned upside down when one loses a beloved contact lens after being flung into the air by a wave. #itsallbad #alwaysbringabackuppair

The Foggy Struggle

When it’s cold outside and you try to wrap yourself up to stay warm, your glasses fog up. Not only does it look crazy, but you literally can’t see. The fog in my glasses recently caused ice to form after I stepped out in four-degree weather in February. #breatheoutofyourmouth #notthroughyournose #dontforgettobreathesoftly

The Sliding Down Struggle

Time for an arm adjustment! If you’ve ever started running on the treadmill or dancing wild in a Zumba class or spinning for your life at Soul Cycle, then you may have had the experience of having your glasses slide all the way down to the tip of your nose. And if it happened when you were a kid, chances are, someone probably joked about you looking like an old lady. Kids. So cruel.

The Makeup Struggle

Whether you’re posted up dead in front of the mirror trying to put on your eyeliner or you got your makeup done and no one can tell behind your big frames, it’s hard to be dolled up and fabulous with bad vision. And while contacts are an alternative, all that makeup could actually irritate your lenses when you’ve had it all on (specifically eye makeup) too long.

The Sunglasses Struggle

Dwayne Wayne had the right idea. Ever run out of contacts and still wanted to wear sunglasses? You either do like my co-worker and just be blind underneath your jazzy frames or do like me and buy the biggest shades you can find and wear your glasses underneath. Tacky, I know, but not as tacky as transition lenses

The Cost Struggle

If your vision is really bad, then you know how these retailers jack up the prices to try and explain not only why your lenses will need to be thick as layers of onion, but why you need to pay extra to get protective coverings, and all sorts of different features for your special glasses.

The Not Being Able To Find Your Glasses In The Morning Struggle

I know you’ve been there: When you fall asleep in your glasses, roll around the bed all night long and wake up in a panic because you’re worried that you won’t be able to find your frames underneath your winding sheets. Or worse, that you are going to look up, and they will be broken. Ah, yes. The stressful morning mattress swipe…

The Every Face You Make Without Your Glasses Looks Like A Frown Struggle

For instance, when I try to quickly clean my glasses and my co-worker says something to me. When I turn around she always bursts into laughter because I’m squinting as though I’m taking one of those painstaking eye exams. But alas, I’m ever so glad that my misery is comical to her.

The When People Take Your Glasses Off When You’re Sleeping Struggle

While it’s sweet that someone would think to take off your glasses to ensure that you don’t destroy them during a nap or a night’s rest, if you don’t know where your glasses are when you wake up, all hell is sure to break loose. Amirite?!

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