How I Avoided Having Sex With My College Bae

February 11, 2016  |  


After a night of playing drinking games at my friend’s sorority house, I drunkenly laid on her couch thinking about my walk back to my townhouse that was on the other side of our 5,000-acre campus.

Thankfully, Isaiah was there.

Our history ran deep; he was the first boy I liked in college and also the first one to break my 18-year-old heart, leaving me to cry in my academic advisor’s office during the first week of classes. Now, three years later we had developed a respectable friendship and eventually found ourselves in the arms of others.

That is until we both found ourselves single at the same time.

Isaiah had recently broke up with his girlfriend and would constantly apologize about how he treated me during my freshman year. Although I was over the incident, it felt nice to see Isaiah sweat me, a bit. Our sexual tension always hung like a cloud over our heads whenever we found ourselves in the same place at the same time. This night was no different and the alcohol made things worse. Isaiah offered to drop me home to my townhouse and I stalled, saying I could take the campus bus home. “F-ck outta here with that sh-t,” he casually said in his Brooklyn accent, as he grabbed his car keys and my hand, leading me outside towards his car. Although I acted like I didn’t want the ride back to my house in 20-degree weather, inside I was jumping for joy.

In the car, we casually caught up and spoke about classes, friends, and even the library’s new lunch menu. You know, the type of conversation that you have before you lose your morals. When we reached the parking lot of my housing complex, Isaiah parked and got out the car to walk me directly to my house. “Ohhh sh-t,” I thought as my heart began racing. Before I knew it, Isaiah’s lips and mine were locked as he pressed my body against my house door. After coming up for air after what felt like our 99th kiss, I opened my house door and both of us found ourselves on my living room couch. Finally, the sexual tension between us was being released, that is, until Isaiah began to unzip his pants. Once I saw his penis poking out even before he could finish unzipping, the Henny and 99 Peach Snapps I drank evaporated from my body.

I couldn’t have sex with Isaiah even if I wanted to. After he broke up with his girlfriend, Isaiah had become the campus community peen. The majority of girls I knew had been with him in ways that were more than biblical and not to sound like I found Jesus five minutes ago but I didn’t want to be on the list. Also, over the years, his ex-girlfriend and I became good friends who would party or have dinner often with our mutual friends. I was not down for sharing.

When Isaiah realized I wasn’t kissing him as passionately as before, nor was I shimmying out of my skinny jeans, he sighed. “Why don’t you want to have sex with me?”

“Because I’m not trying to get jumped at the next BSU party,” I whispered as I kissed him for the last time. He gave me a forehead kiss and slid himself off of me. He knew my explanation wasn’t far from potential reality. At the time, Isaiah’s cuddy buddies routinely bullied each other on Facebook and even got into several verbal altercations in the college union.

As much as I still liked Isaiah, I didn’t want to get caught under the voodoo spell of his penis. “You’re right. You’re right. Chicks are out here wildin’ and I don’t want you to get involved.” I smiled at his response. We continued to chat about the boundaries we would need to have in order for us not to find ourselves panting for air on couches or floors and it felt good to be respected by him even though the tension between us still stuck like glue.

Despite our plan, we found ourselves in similar predicaments but always with the same outcome. I guess I realized there were other men I could have sex with who didn’t bring drama to the table. Eventually, Isaiah and I stopped our stolen rendezvouses and have remained good friends till this day.

Have you ever had to pump your breaks before you got busy with a guy? Check out how the ladies in Relationship Hacks avoid having sex below.

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