Last night, I found myself falling into a black hole when I should have been sleeping. It all started when I stumbled upon VICE’s “The Little Death: Loving And Living As A Necrophiliac.” I learned about a lot of fetishes in college when I signed up for the course, Gender and Sexualities. Despite this, I decided to read the article to see if there was anything new to learn about this particular fetish since it’s an ongoing topic in my newest guilty pleasure, the Fox show Scream Queens.
The piece unfolded by detailing the life of Hayden, a young man who shared when and how he became attracted to dead bodies. Yes, you read that right.
“He was 14 years old at the funeral of a girl who had been a close friend—it was the first time he had come in contact with a corpse. When he would recall the experience, Hayden said, it was often accompanied with intense feelings of anger and guilt. And when he tried to tell others about what he had felt, he added, they were far from accepting.”
Although Hayden’s family and friends don’t like or support his fetish, one person does.
Yes, again, you read that right.
Hayden, like everyone else, deserves to be in a healthy relationship, and it’s nice that he was able to find someone so understanding. Good for him, and good for her.
But you would never catch me dating a person who fancied women who laid up in the morgue. Dead bodies? That’s asking for me to put up with a lot. But then again, most fetishes aren’t easy to deal with.
The word fetish is derived from the Portuguese word, feitico, which translates to “obsessive fascination.” A fetish is being sexually aroused by an inanimate object or nongenital body part. According to Psychology Today:
“Inanimate object fetishes can be categorized into two types: form fetishes and media fetishes. In a form fetish, the object and its shape are important, such as high-heeled shoes. In a media fetish, the material of the object is important, such as silk or leather. Inanimate object fetishists often collect the object of their favor. In some cases, the fetishism is severe enough to inspire the fetishist to acquire objects of his desire through theft or assault.”
While a person may have a fetish for a particular attire, shoes and, again, your feet, others like Hayden crave a more morbid experience to perform sexually. Psychology Today made note of why necrophiliacs desire interactions with corpses, stating that they want a level of sexual control. Though people may be grossed out by this type of fetish, VICE cleverly assessed that Western pop culture has thrived on fairy tales like Sleeping Beauty and tales like The Twilight series, and both have necrophilia fantasies in their stories.
Also, while doing some research on fetishes, in general, there were several threads on Reddit where people opened up about their intriguing fixations. Some were just as taboo as necrophilia. In one thread, a woman sought advice to figure out when it’s a good time to tell men she’s dating that she’s into “pegging.” As in, wearing a strap-on and initiating anal sex on a man. Another user revealed that he is into reenacting past sex stories. Folks with fetishes are not alone in this world. But do they end up alone romantically? Not Hayden.
While I can’t imagine dominating (pegging) a man anally or having to reenact a partner’s past sexcapades, my research leads me to believe that we all get turned on by things another person may not consider normal, legal or even sane for that matter. So it’s not fair to judge too much.
Still, could you date someone you knew had a very interesting fetish?