Women complain about their men playing video games, and men are in denial about how much they truly sit there and play, but I never really thought about this topic until it crept into my own home.
This is a matter I personally have within my relationship with my husband, the new dad to our baby girl. You know, if you wake up every single morning to a man in boxers playing video games and on top, go to bed whilst he’s back on the game – it can get quite annoying and frustrating.
“Maybe I shouldn’t complain. I mean, at least I know where he is and what he’s doing.”
Yes and no. Yes, let him be. Let him enjoy his time off; everybody needs some relaxation after a long day at work or with the kids. But then I also say no because if his gaming habits negatively affect your relationship, then it’s definitely a problem. Don’t nag him if he’s playing for a couple of hours after spending time with you; it’s okay.
But if he puts gaming first and everything else second, then you need to have a talk with him. I know that’s not always easy though. My husband and I had countless conversations about his gaming habits but as I mentioned before, most don’t want to realize the amount of time they spend playing. Try this: instead of getting upset with him, suggest watching a movie, going for a walk – whatever it is you feel like doing. If you like gaming yourself hey, go for it, grab a controller and have fun playing together.
Here are some other questions to ask yourself:
Is he trying to get a break from you?
Putting this question on myself and our marriage, I’d say no. My husband works and studies full-time, so I understand that he needs some “chill-time” to himself. And I want him to have that. I need it too. My girls and I meet up every Monday for “Mommy Monday”, it relieves a lot of stress to just let go and do something fun. For me, it’s hanging out with my friends; for him it’s playing online with his. Don’t see it as a way for him to escape you, but rather as a break for him, where he can just zone out and relax.
Nonetheless I hope men don’t get too excited. Although I am not a gaming opponent, I believe that moderation is key. No one want’s to wake up and go to bed to the same image every single day. Priority is key. He should take care of the chores, kids, work and woman first before turning on the console. Make sure everything and everybody is taken care of before you zone out. In the end, gaming will be much easier if you know you don’t have 500 other things to take care of afterwards.
How do I get him to stop playing so much?
Honestly, I’m still trying to figure this one out myself. It’s hard breaking anyone out of habits. You can talk to your partner about how you feel. Tell him right away what your expectations are and that you feel like he’s neglecting you, the kids, the house. But don’t try to make him stop entirely. If it’s something he loves to do, then let him.
Please don’t attempt give him times when you think it’s fine for him to play.
Even though he may play a lot of video games, he’s still a man. You could however suggest that he sets his own schedule. Women need attention and a lot of us need validation; seeing you play day in, day out does not give us either.
Like I said earlier, if priorities are set as a family, then everything else should fall into place. No hobby, whether it’s yours or your husbands, should ever interfere with the relationship. If someone neglects chores and family then a conversation is necessary. For some this issue may seem minor but if you have an extreme gamer at home, you’ll understand that it can be exhausting to deal with. Mutual understanding will always result in a better tomorrow.