A Man’s Guide To Navigating Your Girlfriend’s Period
For men, navigating a woman’s time of the month can be like walking into a trap. But it doesn’t have to be. Fellas, here’s a guide to help you understand and navigate your girlfriend’s period.
Love hard the first couple of days
How your partner feels about you the first day or two of her period sets the tone for how she’ll feel about you the entire menstrual cycle. Do not drop the ball those first couple of days. Be loving. Be available. Cuddle.
Focus on her boobs
They should be engorged right now due to the hormone fluctuations. Rave about them. This will take her mind off of her equally engorged tummy.
Mimic her cravings
If you suggest salad night, she will detest you. Now her only options are to A) Eat salad and pretend she wasn’t craving nachos/pizza/burgers/chocolate or B) Be the one to suggest the fattier food. You must suggest the fattier food. Let her feel like it was your idea.
Don’t make too many plans
Because our hormones fluctuate during our period, we can experience bouts of lethargy. We don’t need you to make us feel bad about canceling plans when we already feel exhausted.
Avoid movies with anti-feminist undertones
This is not the time to play with fire.
Don’t bring up hot-button issues…
Don’t bring those up now. Why do you have to go and bring those up now? Seriously, the hormones that keep us happy and calm (estrogen, serotonin…) are depleted when we menstruate.
Let her sleep
Sleep is a woman’s best friend when she’s on her period. We can feel so tired that it’s almost like we’re walking around with sand bags attached to our feet. Be quiet in the morning and don’t keep her up late.
If you don’t mind having sex when your partner is menstruating, or if you can catch a window when she’s not bleeding heavily, have sex. She is in the mood the most during this time.
Keep a lining in the bathroom trashcan
Don’t leave us hanging there, used tampon applicator in our hands, yelling for you across the house to put a bag in your garbage.
Yes, she can borrow your boxers
Or sweatpants or whatever cozy item of yours that she likes. Do not, for even a second, suggest that she might bleed on them. She’s been menstruating for several years now. She’s got a handle on that part of it. Now hand over those damn fleece pants!
Never say, “You’re just on your period”
Whether she’s being irritable or depressed or complaining about bloat, never ever say, “You’re just on your period.” JUST? Do you have any idea what it feels like to menstruate? Didn’t think so.
That being said…treat it like a situation
We feel like we’re not supposed to complain to you about our period, but we also really need to. So open up the forum. When we’re on our periods, and you call us, ask us “How are you feeling?” Don’t ask “’Sup?” or “What are you up to?” Ask “How are you feeling?”
Use the other bathroom
If you have one, use it. Ever heard of “period poop?” We can’t stop going when we’re on our period. And then we have the trash can full of pads and tampons. Just leave us alone in there.
Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle
Like I said before, we’re low on feel-good hormones during our period. We need all the boost we can get. Physical touch with the man we love helps a lot. So please, don’t make us ask for cuddles. Be a cuddling machine.
And, finally, give us a break
You know how when you didn’t get that promotion or your football team lost, you were grumpy for a while? We didn’t say you were overreacting. We realized you were going through something, and we took your bad moods in stride. You owe us that now. Don’t look at us like we’re crazy or evil if we lash out. Trust us, we don’t mean it.