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Are you planning your first big trip with your new partner? This probably isn’t his first time traveling with a girlfriend and you can bet he’s dreading the following things. Here are 15 reasons men hate traveling with women.
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Small bladders
Part of the problem is we have small bladders; the other part of the problem is we need actual toilets to alleviate them. These two things together make it pretty annoying to travel with us. If there’s no bathroom on the bus forget it.
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Feeling protective
If your partner is a good one, he naturally feels protective of you. That feeling is amplified in a place where neither of you speaks the language or know your way around. A lot of men don’t like traveling with women just because they worry about them the whole time!
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Small bathrooms; big products
Even if you’re low maintenance, you probably have at least four products. But when you’re traveling, you’ll always have minimal counter space in the bathroom.
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Pictures, pictures, pictures
Walking around a museum takes four times as long as it should because you stop to take a picture of everything or to take a selfie of the two of you in front of every monument.
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Oh, and photogenic outfits
The whispy shoulder scarf thing is very photogenic. It also keeps blowing off your shoulders so you keep having to stop the bicycles or walking tour to go grab it.
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Shopping
Plenty of women (myself included) experience a place by picking up trinkets and souvenirs. Many men consider this a waste of time and bring nothing home but the memories.
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And the luggage that comes along
Oh yeah, those trinkets need suitcases. And those suitcases need a $50 baggage fee plus someone to lug them from one hotel to another. That someone ends up being your man.
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“Where do you want to go?” “I dunno”
The, “Where should we eat?” syndrome you deal with at home is amplified when you travel. You’re constantly deciding what to do next, and if you give the, “I dunno” answer your partner will go crazy.
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Social media
You post about every single thing you’re doing on the trip. When your partner gets home, all of his friends already know about the pizza in Milan and the boat trip in Stockholm. So much for storytelling!
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Dependent traveler syndrome
Women are naturally more social creatures than men are. For that reason, we can be dependent travelers. In other words, we insist on doing every single thing together on the trip. Men want to wander off alone sometimes.
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Nap time
I don’t know why—maybe it’s our complicated hormonal system—but of all the men and women I’ve known, women need way more sleep than men do. That means when we travel, we want to pause in the middle of the day to take a nap.
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Snack time
Women need more sleep and we need more snacks! Men can go for 10-hour stretches without food, scarf down a double cheeseburger and move on. Women prefer lots of small, healthy meals. This makes a 6-hour boat tour very difficult.
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Dietary restrictions
Speaking of snacking, we like to keep things healthy. But most of the food worth trying when you travel is, well, not healthy. Pizza in Italy, meatballs in Sweden and Bratwurst in Germany.
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Sore feet and cobble stone streets
Even our “comfy” shoes often aren’t comfy. Gladiator sandals just don’t hold up when you’re walking on cobble stone streets for 7 hours.
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Airport security strip down
Earings, bracelets, wire in the bra, necklace, belt, anklet, rings…This will take a while.
