What Not To Do When A Man Cries

August 11, 2015  |  
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When women cry, those who know us best know exactly what to do: get out the ice cream, try their best to relate to us, and play an episode of Girls until the tears are replaced with laughter. But when a guy cries, things can get complicated. Here are 15 things you probably shouldn’t do when a man cries.

“Are you crying?”

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“Are you crying?”

You know he’s crying. You’re looking at his face. Don’t make him feel embarrassed about it by pointing it out.

“I’ve never seen you cry before.”

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“I’ve never seen you cry before.”

Ah yes. That’s it. Remind him of how his image as a man is falling apart right in front of your eyes. That will help.

 

Opening a bottle of wine

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Opening a bottle of wine

You might be overwhelmed when you first see your partner cry. You can’t show that. Leave that bottle of wine alone.

Freezing up

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Freezing up

Don’t stand there frozen like he’s covered in deadly wasps and you can’t go near him. Offer him support and move on already.

 

Recruiting backup

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Recruiting backup 

He doesn’t want you to call his best friend right now or hit up his mom. You can handle this job. Even if you pretend that you can but you really don’t know how to, that’s enough for him.

The side pat

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The side pat

Don’t sit by his side and pat him on the back like you would a friend. The last thing a man wants is to feel that you’re being condescending. Give him a full frontal hug like you always do.

Pull out the tissue box

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Pull out the tissue box

Men don’t really mess with tissues when they cry. Somehow, they don’t get all snotty like we do and (naturally) their mascara doesn’t run. They would rather wipe the tears away on their own and move on.

 

 

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Try to initiate sex

While sex can make a man feel better under most conditions, it’s a bit much to deal with while he’s crying. In fact, it’s super weird.

 

 

Trying to make it stop

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Trying to make it stop

Don’t say “There, there” or blurt out whatever you can to make them feel better. That just makes them think you want them to stop ASAP. And that’s hurtful.

 

Changing the subject

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Changing the subject

You might think men don’t want to dwell on the reason they’re crying, but quickly changing the subject and asking what they want for dinner just tells them you don’t want to be there right now. And that’s cold.

Getting him tea

Men generally don’t do consolatory tea. In most cases, he’ll take a glass of water.

Bringing the dog over

You like to cuddle your dog and talk to him in a baby voice when you’re crying. Your partner, however, does not want you to put the dog on his lap and start speaking for it in a baby voice.

Offering to beat someone up for him

Maybe his boss was really disrespectful, but he doesn’t need you ready to up and fight someone for him. Not this time at least. Just agree with him that his boss is an A-hole.

Kissing him

Do you want someone kissing your blubbery mouth while you’re crying? Nuh-uh. Neither does he. Stick to cheek and neck kisses.

“It’s not that bad”

If he’s crying, it is that bad–to him at least. Trying to convince him that “It’s not that bad” only makes him feel you don’t think his tears are valid. Offer support and a listening ear.

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