Life is a journey filled with twists, turns, triumphs and trials, but nonetheless, it’s a course we all must travel. While we experience many things on this road, whether we want to our not, they all happen for distinct reasons. Those reasons are for us to learn, grow and help someone else who may have gone through or happen to be going through the same things. On my trip through life, I’ve learned so many lessons from people directly and indirectly involved in it. But I must say that the greatest lessons have come about by observing other women, and taking their advice about life, love, career, and faith to heart. I believe these gems will be valuable to some of you.
Be patient when it comes to love, relationships, and marriage.
One thing many women desire is love through monogamous relationships with the possibility of marriage, and many will go to great lengths to obtain it. However, what I realized from a few of my peers who are married is that love and marriage will happen when it’s time for them to happen for me. There is no need to rush or to rush anyone else because I may run into something just to regret it and want to run in the opposite direction.
Never envy another woman.
Jealousy is something that plagues women. We often look at other women’s relationships, careers, homes, figures and even their style of dress and desire the same things. However, we don’t know how they got there, or what they had to go through to maintain what they have. I think this stems from a lack of confidence in ourselves, being afraid to make a change, and being ungrateful for what we already have. Many times we as women are so busy looking on the outside at what others have that we don’t realize what we have right in front of us. Besides, what another woman has is for her, and what’s meant for you is for you. If you want more, go after it because it’s what you want, not because you’re trying to compete with someone else.
Also, don’t compare yourself to another woman.
There is a quote that says, “If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” I think this quote says it all. In layman’s terms, it means that you should never compare yourself to another woman, or feel as if you have to compete with her. You are who you were created to be for a distinct purpose that can only be fulfilled by you. Besides, if you’re always comparing yourself to someone else, you will fail to celebrate the wonderful woman you are.
Never, ever throw yourself at a man.
In today’s world, some women believe that there is a shortage of good men to have viable and productive relationships with, so what do they do? They shamelessly catapult themselves toward any man who will give them the time of day. They walk in front of them switching as hard as they can, they constantly initiate dates, phone calls, everything you can think of to win him over. Ladies, there is no need for all of this. Why? Because no matter what you do or don’t do, if a man is genuinely interested in you, he will let you know. And we all know that real men like a challenge, not a chaser. Which one are you?
There are so many women seeking love in shallow places because they don’t know how to love themselves. An important part of love is being able to be patient and kind. If we as women were patient and kind towards ourselves, then we wouldn’t be so quick to accept mediocrity in our relationships. Ladies, love who you are and who you are in the process of becoming. It’s the only way you will recognize true love when it comes your way.
Learn to accept and embrace your mistakes.
Mistakes are a part of life, but some people like to overlook them and pretend they never happened. However, what they’ve failed to realize is that life’s missteps are the stumbling blocks of growth, so they should not be overlooked but welcomed and fully embraced. For every mistake made comes a valuable lesson in place to make you a better person–and influence someone else.
Be confident in who you are, no matter how quirky.
What I’ve found to be true for some women is that their confidence comes from the way they look as opposed to their overall being. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s a great thing when a woman can appreciate her looks, but there has to be more to her than that, and her confidence should show it. I’ve learned to get to know who I am, what I like and what I truly desire out of life in addition to having confidence in my physique, and what I have to offer. Ladies, learn to value and appreciate the woman you are from the inside out because your looks can only take you so far. You will thank yourself in the long run.
Step out of your comfort zone.
As we live life, we establish goals and work hard to meet them. Once they’ve been achieved we then become comfortable and complacent. While there’s nothing wrong with living comfortably, it’s okay to step out of your comfort zone and experience as much as you can. You only have one life to live, and you should live it to the fullest.
Never judge another woman’s story until you have read her book.
Women can be very judgmental, especially towards other women. Whether we want to admit it or not, we often judge other women, and we shouldn’t for the simple fact that we don’t know what she has gone through, or is currently going through. Ladies, instead of making assumptions about other women before getting to know them, take some time and truly get to know them for who they are. Besides, there’s only one judge who sees and knows all. Stay in your lane because the same methods and measures you use to judge someone will be the same ones used against you.
Listen to yourself.
Seeking advice from others is something we all do, but what I’ve learned throughout the years is that some of the best advice I overlooked was from my own instincts. We as women are blessed to have a strong intuition, but we fail ourselves by second-guessing it.
As I continue to grow, I am always learning from the women who surround me. Some lessons are good, some harsh and others are sweet, but nonetheless they are lessons that open my mind, and ones that I hold near and dear to my heart. What are some lessons you’ve learned from other women that have had an impact on your life?
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For?, a motivational speaker, and an advocate for single women who encourages them to live their life to the fullest God’s way. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.