Welcome to Love School. Class is in session! Abiola’s Love School is a weekly empowered Love Lesson, inspirational class and juicy conversation about love, relationships, dating, sex, commitment and self-worth. Each class will include homework, resources and actionable steps. Let’s move beyond the surface to experience the true love and intimacy we deserve. Are you in?
Love Lesson: Loving with an Open Heart
Hot new author Derrick Jaxn and his steamy book, “A Cheating Man’s Heart” are a viral social media sensation. With a huge and growing following across Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, Derrick gives heartfelt advice and commentary on men, women and relationships. The handsome lifestyle blogger is a former student-athlete turned author and spoken word poet who grew up as the youngest of five in a single parent household in Enterprise, Alabama.
He founded a non-profit teen mentoring organization called Team Jaxn in college. Jaxn also earned national and multiple conference football championships as a tight end for Tuskegee University, and received a Bachelor’s in Sales and Marketing.
Now, women can’t put his debut novel down. Let’s meet the poetic man behind the love, sex and dating truisms and see what he has to teach us today.
Congratulations on all of your success, Derrick. Please tell us about your uber-popular book, “A Cheating Man’s Heart.”
The story opens with Shawn Fletcher sharing with his therapist the experience of his first heartbreak. Emotionally wounded Shawn enters college with a vow to ‘keep it casual’ with all girls. Danielle, a ‘good girl’ comes on campus and is completely uninterested in anything Shawn has to say. She can see his womanizing ways from a mile away. The chase to win Danielle’s heart leads Shawn to become a better student and a better man. Everything seems perfect until doubt and insecurities attempt to lead them astray.
Aha! Always insecurities and doubt, right? Let’s delve into some of your popular quotations. Here’s a big one: “If you keep giving men part-time positions, you’ll keep getting minimum wage treatment.” We need someone to give us an “Amen” or a witness or something to go with that…
Some women are quicker to demand more from men than they are to choose men with more to offer. It’s like asking a small cup for more water instead of simply choosing a larger cup. With this quote, I’m encouraging women to want more not only for themselves but from themselves because that’s where the real power is. Don’t ask for a lifetime of love from men with seasonal intentions, and then blame them for not knowing your worth.
Thank you, Derrick. I’ve said that a million times in speeches, columns and with coaching clients. I think that it will hit home for many coming from you. This was a sweet one: “Feeling weird all your life and then meeting someone who’s weird in all the same ways.”
Some people call it chemistry, some call it fate. I call it meeting someone who takes everything about you that you thought was wrong and making you realize it was just right for them. That’s when you’ve found something special.
Derrick, the current popular image of manhood, particularly for black men and popular athletes such as you, is that of a hyper-sexualized, womanizing ladies man or pimp. Your image is that of a sensitive and stable brother who is not afraid to be vulnerable. To me, that is true courage. What in your upbringing or background made you feel that this was not the route you wanted to go?
It honestly wasn’t an option to begin with. I have sisters who were raised without a father. I have a niece, and if God’s willing, I’ll one day have a daughter. When I’m gone, I don’t want my legacy to be anything that will take away from their potential to be strong, beautiful, and intelligent women. Womanizing and pimping is nothing to be proud of. The fact I can look at any female member of my family in the eye and know that they are proud of me means everything.
Beautiful. What is coming up for you next?
February 15th my featured Spreecast on “ACMH Chat N Chew” at 9 p.m. ET will be in observation of National Side Chick Day. The message will be centered around, not giving more than you are getting. Don’t give someone one hundred percent only to receive less than that.
You can buy “A Cheating Man’s Heart” on Amazon.
Catch up on Abiola’s Love Class
- Blood, Sweat & Heels: Demetria Lucas
- Oprah’s Love Guru: Paul Brunson
- What is Vagina Power?!
- What Men Want from Women
- Fatman Scoop: Proud Single Dad
- Alexyss K. Tylor: Children in Jail
- Love, Trauma and Healing
- Are You Blocking Your Blessings?
Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives extraordinary women inspiring advice on healthy relationships, self-esteem and getting the love we deserve. You’ve seen her love interventions in magazines from Essence to JET and on shows from MTV’s “Made” to the CW Network’s “Bill Cunningham Show.” Find love class worksheets, advice videos, coaching, and more at Abiola’s Love University. Her upcoming advice guide is named “The Official Bombshell Handbook.” She is also the creator of the “Love Body Spirit Detox” Program. Tweet @abiolaTV or #loveclass.