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Trust is an essential part of any relationship. Without it, it is pretty impossible to have a productive one. When certain things happen that cause a person to have a hard time believing in their partner, it is difficult for a relationship to continue on the right foot. The betrayed party may choose to start doing crazy things to ensure that their loved one is faithful again. Moreover, even when the former cheater is being faithful, the scorned partner may still behave erratically and check up on them out of paranoia.

The paranoid things people do to confirm the fidelity of their mate include popping up at their job unexpectedly, making surprise home visits, and watching them from afar without them knowing. But one big no-no people do when the trust is gone is snoop through their partner’s phone, check their text messages, search through pictures and look through contacts for unfamiliar names. Some people even take it a step further and check emails.

Prowling through your mate’s phone is one of the worst things you can do. It can open up so many doors of disappointment and strife that you may not be prepared to deal with mentally or emotionally. There’s an old saying that goes, “Seek, and you shall find,” and it is very true. If you go looking for trouble in your man’s phone, you just may find it. Before you decide to make that bold move, ask yourself if you can handle what you may find, what your next move will be, how you plan to confront your mate about what you saw if it was incriminating, and how you plan to explain to them why you were going through their phone in the first place.

Ever wonder what your reputation is like in the world of dating, or if you even have one? Well, believe it or not, everyone has a rep or dating resume that people often refer to if they are are admiring you from a distance and want to get to know you better. One thing you do not want to follow you from one relationship to another is being known as the crazy chick or paranoid dude who lurks through phones trying to find anything suspicious. This tag will automatically put potential mates on guard and have them giving you the side-eye before things can even get off the ground.

Trust, trust, and more trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. Searching through your mate’s phone shows that you do not believe in the person you are with and what you have is not what you thought it was. Anytime you are compelled to look through your partner’s phone without permission, it is a sign that things are headed south. If this is the case, it may be best for you to move on because not only have you lost a certain level of trust in your mate, but once they find out you’ve been looking in their phone, they may not be able to trust you either. Yeah, this thing works both ways.

Having confidence in your partner and what the two of you are building is a great thing, but once that trust is gone, it is definitely hard to get it back. While no one is perfect and people will make mistakes in life, everyone deserves the basic right to privacy. If you have an issue with your mate and you are wondering about their fidelity, ask them about it directly, rather than going around playing Inspector Gadget. No Gadget, No!

If you cannot love and trust the one you are with, then be with someone else you can trust because searching through their phone and their personal items will only bring heartache and pain to you. And while you are so busy looking through their phone, you may be missing out on someone better who’s looking for you.

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? and a speaker and advocate for single women. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.


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