Tall, dark, handsome and successful: these are all familiar traits many women want in an ideal mate, and rightfully so. While there are a number of other things women desire in a man, it’s almost a given that most of us want a man with a successful career.
Men who are out achieving their goals are sexy, but what we as women know all too well is when you date a guy who has a flourishing career, there are a lot of struggles and compromises involved. Some women may not believe this to be true. Some would argue that there are no struggles involved, and all a woman needs to do is sit back, be patient, and be understanding of the demands of his job. They may say that a woman should be supportive and thankful to have a man who is successful in his own right. However, when you are just as successful, you understand how difficult but possible it is to balance love and career. You know that it’s feasible to make time for a good relationship. The hectic life that comes with success is not enough of an excuse.
Using success and work as a scapegoat, some men do and say questionable things. For instance, one thing successful men do is communicate with women as if they are at work speaking to one of their employees. Text messages, emails, FaceTime appointments, or penciling us in for a brief lunch are sadly some of the ways career-driven men interact with the women in their lives. While some women may think this is okay, I’m here to tell you it’s not. With any relationship, effective communication is key to its survival. Calling (instead of texting), scheduling, and keeping dates are necessary to show a woman you’re interested. If you don’t have lots of time, small gestures like walks in the park let a woman know you’re interested in her and the relationship as a whole.
Another all too familiar struggle with dating a man at the top of his game is if (and when) he decides to take time from his schedule and actually calls a woman, all he talks about is work. If that’s not bad enough, the conversation is cut short! Fellas, if you have not made adequate time to have an adult conversation with a woman you say you’re interested in, please spare us the minute-to-win-it quickie call until you have time for a meaningful discussion. And please be sure to talk to us about more than your job.
“I’ve gotta work…” is the mantra of many men of substance, but this probably means he is the workaholic who gets to work early, stays late, puts in time on weekends, and only takes a day off if he has to. We all know the lines and excuses, and we tell ourselves that we understand. But in all actuality, we want to spend some form of quality time with him, and when we don’t get that, our natural reaction is to say something, right? Still, when we say something, men think we’re getting too needy and complain that we’re a nag when all we want is some time. That’s not too much to ask for, is it? Besides, it‘s no secret that a man makes time for who and what he wants and deems important, no matter what he’s got going on.
When dating guys who seemingly have it all together, there’s one other thing I’ve noticed about them that drives me crazy, and that’s their humongous ego. A lot of guys who have achieved certain accomplishments in life tend to think that they are the only man who has done so in history, so they have a slight chip on their shoulders. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being proud of what you have done. In fact, a little cockiness is pretty sexy at times. But there’s a difference between being confident in the man you are and being overly arrogant.
Whether you’re dating a man who is prosperous or one who’s well on his way to being successful, there will undoubtedly be challenges of every kind. And let’s face it, ladies, we deal with the less appealing aspects of them because we are drawn to men who set goals and achieve them. The ability to do that says a lot about a man’s character. Plus, many of us want a guy who is just as successful as we are, so I guess we’ll have to keep dealing with them to a certain extent. But know that if he can’t make time for you, there’s nothing wrong with making your concerns known. If he doesn’t have time for you, then he clearly needs to accept the fact that he doesn’t have time to date and be in a relationship.
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray for, a speaker and an advocate for single women. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.
