As a married woman, I must admit this plain fact: I don’t play, understand, or watch video games. You? I find them pointless, but my husband enjoys them and once he goes into his man-cave, it might be several hours before he comes upstairs for air.
I know I’m not alone when it comes to not understanding or caring about video games, comic books and so many other experiences that men enjoy. Trust me – I’ve tried to ‘get into it’ as a spouse, spectator and friend. Real talk: It’s just not my thing.
Today’s reset is about giving our men a chance to vent, communicate and share with us what we should know about men and video games. Hopefully, we can press RESET in our relationship, grow closer and learn a thing or two about men. I transcribed a conversation that I had with my hubby, Andrew, this past weekend about what women should know about men and video games. I pledge to do better.
As told to Karen Taylor Bass:
Video games have been a constant in my life since 1983. Gaming has always been a great stress releaser and just plain fun. I can lose myself for hours in all sorts of worlds but throughout it all I am fully aware that it is entertainment and in no way reality. At 47, so many folks of my generation look at video games as a kids’ activity even though we all grew up with it. A good majority of women feel that as an adult man playing games, it somehow shows a lack of maturity, responsibility and direction. Not true.
What’s sad is that this perception creates a lost opportunity to get closer, to become more intimate with their mates. Playing video games is just another way for a man to relax just like watching sports. Video games don’t dictate how a person is just as a person’s taste in music doesn’t dictate who they are. If a man is immature and irresponsible—guess what—he was like that from the moment he was born. The game du jour, “Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare,” isn’t going to make someone immature.
Women should see video games as an opening to know more about what turns her man on, what fascinates him about playing and how she can support his hobby. Nothing is sexier than a woman who can understand the allure of playing video games or even better, is into it herself. In all my years playing, I’ve come across only one woman who got it. She was the girlfriend of a friend’s friend who joined us in some gaming matches. All of us were skeptical but she was into it, even busted several of our asses in the matches but what it showed was how tight they seemed to be because she accepted video games as part of their lives. It was really hot to see.
Generationally, the perception is changing but it’s harder to knock some sense in my generation. Like I said before, video games are just another way to enter your man’s heart.
RESET: Try entering the man-cave open minded and commit to learn something new about your partner. Give different a chance.
Karen Taylor Bass, an award winning PR Expert, best-selling author and Brand Mom, empowers entrepreneurs, small-business owners, corporations and mompreneurs with essential marketing, public relations and strategic coaching. Follow Karen @thebrandnewmom.