Why Online Dating Doesn’t Work For Black Women
Looking to find love online this year? You might need to look elsewhere. The studies are in and black women come near the bottom of the pile when it comes to finding love on mainstream dating sites.
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Online, Like Attracts Like
Most daters on mainstream sites like OKCupid, Tinder and Match.com are white. And the statistics say that most of those white men are looking to date someone who “share their racial background.” That means that, for the most part, black women’s profiles are passed by.
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Interracial Dating Isn’t Really On The Rise
Anyone who read the recent survey results on interracial dating like I did is really surprised by these results.
But as it turns out, even though 93% of people aged 19 to 29 say they accept interracial dating who they actually date is a different story.
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Black Men Aren’t Interested In Black Women Either
If OKCupid’s studies are anything to go by, black men gave black women the cold shoulder too and vice versa.
A recent study found that black people of all ages were 10 times more likely to initiate contact with white people than other black people.
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You Have To Do All The Work
One dating expert said “If you are a black woman on Match.com and you’re not going to initiate contact then you are not going to date. That’s just the reality.”
To get any response at all, black women have to reach out roughly 1.5 times the amount of any other group — and they are still the group that’s the least responded to.
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You Can Feel Unwanted
Putting in all of the effort for men who may or may not be interested in dating black women is frustrating enough.
But men are also more honest online. And that means that black women encounter a lot of profiles that blatantly say “no black women” or other comments that completely rule women out just because of the color of their skin.
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White Men Are A In Demand
White men are most numerous on mainstream dating sites like OKCupid and Match.com and that’s where daters go to look for them.
Black women looking to date interracially are up for some stiff competition. Women of all races have their eyes out for white men on these dating sites.
Add slim pickings to lots of competition and online dating can be a frustrating experience.
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You’re Likely To Be Exoticized
“I don’t date black girls, but I like you.”
“I’ve been looking for a black girl.”
“I don’t date white girls.”
Black women report that white men who do contact black women online often exoticize them.
Women who do go on dates with those men sometimes find out that they’re more interested in dating a skin color or a stereotype than getting to know them as a person.
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“Racially Ambiguous” Women Have A Rough Time
“What are you?”
“What kind of Asian are you?”
“What country are you from?”
Women that don’t look typically black or Asian or hispanic find that a lot of the messages they receive contain rude questions about their race.
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You Should Wait
The online dating landscape doesn’t look great for women now. But analysts predict that by 2017, African-Americans will be the most represented out of any ethnic group online. That could mean a lot more dating opportunities for black women on mainstream sites.
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You’re Looking In The Wrong Place
Until mainstream online dating sites catch up on colorblindness, many experts say that black women have more success on sites like Meld, BlackPeopleMeet or other sites designed for black people and the people interested in dating them.
