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While perusing my Facebook feed, a friend posted that he was about to meet an ex for lunch and that he had “butterflies in his stomach.” He wondered if this was normal when thinking about an ex. Most people commented that he probably still has feelings for her, or missed her in some way and didn’t realize it until that moment. Fast forward two days later and I literally bumped into an ex of mine from college while racing through Grand Central Station. Both of us in a rush he says, “Facebook me and let me know if you’re free for lunch. We can catch up!” I said okay and ran off, not really giving it much more thought. While I have plenty of exes that I would say I’m friendly with, there isn’t one that I’d consider giving another chance or who I felt was the one “who got away.” Once it’s over for me, it’s done – but that doesn’t mean there still aren’t some great memories to linger over every once in a while. Not all breakups have to be mean or bitter, and there’s nothing wrong with missing a few aspects of an old relationship…even if you don’t miss the PERSON. Here are ten things that I find are perfectly okay to miss about your ex (relationship) even if you’d rather pull your fingernails out one by one than get back with him.
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His Cooking
I had an ex who could THROW DOWN in the kitchen. Mind you, my husband is an excellent cook, so it’s not like I’m starving. But some women have a hard time finding a man who not only CAN cook, but who LOVES to cook for his woman. I’ve been lucky enough to find that twice in my lifetime, but if your current man can’t boil water while an ex was a gourmet chef, I see nothing wrong with missing some good eatin’ every once in a while!
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His Mama
I love my husband’s family. I mean, I ADORE them. So if we ever divorced, I’d have a hard time divorcing his family as well. I’d probably still call his mother to check on her, and visit his cousins in Michigan. That being said, I have an ex whose mother still comments on my photos on Facebook. Sometime the breakup is harder on us not because we’re losing the man, but because we’re losing his mother/father/sister/cousin/insert family member here. And that’s okay. Maybe you can still shop with his mama on weekends. Until he gets a new girlfriend that is…and then you may have to fall back.
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His Dog/Cat
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I have two cats while NONE of my exes owned a pet, so this doesn’t apply to me. But I’ve had girlfriends say they’ll miss their ex’s dog more than they’ll miss him. Most of them viewed HIM as the animal, not the pet. Go figure.
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His Cologne
There is nothing better than a man who smells good. But then you break up with that jerk and you can never enjoy that scent again. Or maybe you can if the breakup wasn’t recent and you can reminisce when you catch a whiff of CK1. Do men still wear that anymore?
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Your Favorite Restaurant
Usually when dating, it’s common that a couple has a favorite spot to eat. Maybe you introduced it to him, vice versa…or you discovered it together. Then you break up and now you don’t go to said spot anymore because you’re afraid you’ll bump into him and stab him in the throat with your stiletto. No? Just me? Okay…well psychosis aside, there is nothing wrong with missing that place that had the best brunch or soul food. It hurts when you can’t call it “our spot” anymore.
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His Taste in Food, Movies, Art, Film, etc.
Ever date someone who knew a little about everything? He knew which wines went with your entrée, the best films showcased at Sundance, had a pass to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Yeah, that dude. He might have been a world-class a-hole, but damn if you didn’t learn something new from him every day. It’s okay to miss being with someone who introduced you to cool new things, who knew all the things you didn’t know and had a bit of culture. It was like dating Google, or Zagats or something.
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His Friends
Similar to missing his family, you might miss all the cool people he was friends with…who then became YOUR cool friends. Now, these friends are no longer your friends because they knew him first. Or maybe they’re still cool with you, but you can’t hang out with them like you used to because their loyalty lies with him or you might run into him since they run in the same circles. Now, you have to settle for hanging out with your old friends pre-ex boyfriend…the ones who don’t rock a Super Bowl party like your ex’s friends do. Le sigh.
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His Sense of Humor
The reason you broke up with your ex is because he was a big kid, was immature and everything was a joke to him. You just couldn’t take him seriously. But he DID make you laugh. That is what attracted you to him, and now your new guy is mature, focused…and dry as the Sahara when it comes to bustin’ jokes. Maybe you and your ex didn’t share a future, but you could definitely share inside jokes that only the two of you understood. It’s nice when someone just “gets you” and can make you smile.
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His Handyman Skills
As a self-sufficient woman, I take pride in being able to hang my own pictures on the wall, change a light bulb and even top off the fluids under the hood of my car. But there are some things you just can’t or don’t know how to do when it comes to making minor (or major) repairs to your home or vehicle. Your ex was “Mr. Fix-it” and knew his way around a tool belt – and that was sexy as hell. Now that he’s an ex, you either have to pay someone to do all those little odd jobs or sashay around Home Depot hoping one of the people who works there will offer to come hang your blinds for free….which I don’t recommend by the way.
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1The Sex
Now, this is one you’re supposed to lie about to your NEW man when he asks if he’s the best sex you’ve ever had. Most women I know don’t marry their best sex, because he’s usually the guy who didn’t have a job or go to school…so he had all day to do nothing but watch porn and perfect his long stroke. Or he was a man-whore, which is why his sex was so good. If you’re lucky enough to marry your best sexual partner like I did, then kudos to you! If not, don’t tell your new man that you sometimes picture your ex during sex. Just make sure you don’t call out the wrong name.
