Victoria: How long is to long to be in a relationship without being or discussing marriage?
DY: That’s up to you to decide. If you think it’s too long, it’s too long. That said, from what I’ve observed, adult couples who get married seem to do it relatively quickly (within two or three years of first dating). You have your exceptions, obviously, but those are rare.
Tierra: How do you stop hitting your man even if you promised you wouldn’t do it again?? He tends to be childish so I treat him like one. I know, its bad but how do I stop being violent?? I am starting to scare myself.
DY: You should probably seek some type of emotional therapy before someone ends up injured, arrested, or worse.
Mykesha: I’m 23 and I’ve never been in a relationship/had a boyfriend. Of course I’ve had crushes, but nothing of substance ever manifested. As I think about my professional and personal goals, I think about “fitting in” a relationship somewhere soon down the line, but I’m finding it to be a challenge to find men who believe in courtship and abstinence. What do guys make of courtship and abstinence? Is there an “appropriate” age to begin dating?
DY: Some guys will court you and respect abstinence. Some guys won’t. You just have to find and date the ones who do. And, don’t worry about “appropriate” ages and dating. Everyone has their own clock.
Shrell: Is it possible to love two people at once? Love or lust,how do you tell the difference?
DY: I’m sure it is. And the difference between love and lust is time. Lust tends to be temporary. Love tends not to be.
Nikki: I always seem to run into the super nice guy don’t mind helping out with bills and kids then become controlling and tell me how I’m doing things the wrong way without admitting their own fault I spent years with two of the same type.. how..
DY: I don’t know enough about you or your dating history to answer that question, but I do know that it’s not a surprise to me that a man immediately willing to take care of your financial obligations would end up being the controlling type.
Allegerria: Why do men fade away when they start off wanting to get to know you, especially when my interest gets piqued, then practically disappear when I tell them that I want to take things slow? I’m not trying to chase down anyone.
DY: Men who do that just aren’t that interested in the women they do that to.
Nikeria: I always seem to take back or have a sexual relationship with the guy that broke my heart…please help.
DY: It seems like you know what you should do. You just need to do it.
Sheena: Is it ok to listen to a friend when she tells you not to intervene when her son’s father is abusive to her whether it’s physical or emotional ?
DY: It is definitely not ok. If you witness this happening — or are aware of it currently happening — contact the police.
Erinn: Please admit all men cheat. All of them. And yes women cheat too but not all of them. All men cheat. Every last one of them. Even you have. And you. You you you and yo a$$.
Melissa: It seems like in all of my 4 long term relationships all of my ex’s even during are relationship would worry about me having sex with other men. I would notice that whenever I wasn’t in the mood I would get accused of being sexually involved with another or if I would say not today it would become an issue of rejection. Why are men always worried about being cheated on while cheating on their mate??
DY: I think you just got unlucky with dating a bunch of insecure men
Pittsburgh native Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) is the co-founder of the ridiculously popular VerySmartBrothas.com Their first book “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide To Dating, Mating and Fighting Crime” is available at Amazon.com.