You’ve probably been there before. Walking down the street, or through a mall, minding your business, when a man tries to spit some game to you. But not a young, virile man, that Hot fella whose attention you wouldn’t mind obtaining. No, instead, it’s someone the age of your father, or worse case scenario, older than your father (ewwww). He’s dressed in dad’s jeans or one of those old-school player hats when he grins that Cheshire Cat smile, watches you from behind as you walk past and visually picks you apart. He’s that creepy old man, and he’s set his sights on you. If you are hopefully 18+ (sometimes even younger), men 40+ are working harder than ever to get your attention, especially when you don’t to want to be bothered. It’s creepy old man radar, and you’ve got it. After conversing with one of my girlfriends and listening to my sister gripe about a large number of older men hitting on her in the bars, I’ve noticed that older men, aka, your daddy’s friends, are becoming more and more bold. But why do these men with their eyes and minds all strewn about in the gutter, get the perv face from us? And more than anything, why do some young women in their prime, ready and willing to date, only seem to attract much-older men?
First things first: Why are many women uncomfortable by the advances of a much older man? After recently reading Omar Tyree’s Dirty Old Men, I came across two very important points from a very informative and entertaining book: For one, there’s nothing that wrong with a man high in age still having a libido. Still recognizing beauty, and if not married, still trying to pursue it openly. Just cause you get older doesn’t mean you won’t be interested in sex, and there’s obviously something forbidden and exciting about fresh meat to a man, right?
Then two, even if you understand the need for older folks to pursue a sex life, you don’t want to think about it, and when you do, it’s just gross. Especially if they might want to have a sex life with you. Point blank, if you’re not looking to entice “Big Poppa,” than the strong flirtations are unwanted. But mostly, when you look at a much older man, you don’t necessarily see them as a love interest, but a trustworthy father figure. Some men even seem to agree. Writer Hugo Schwyzer said it best on The Frisky about men doing double takes towards young ladies, especially ones barely passing adulthood:
“So many grow up disappointed in—and betrayed by—older men. Part of being a good man is matching your language to your life, matching your desires and your values. Like it or not, in the eyes of a young woman, you’ll never be trustworthy if you’re hitting on girls her age. You’ll be a “creep” and a “perv.” And you’ll have earned those names.”
You know older men, hell you’ve probably been in the presence of an attractive, dare I say, Hot older man by being in the presence of your girlfriends’ fathers. So to have someone that reminds you of that man, let alone your own father, who should have his eyes set on women his own age come at you like a young boy on the streets (who might as well be whistling or going, pssst), it sits as badly as spoiled meat. In many women’s minds, your maturity should come before your sexuality, and eyeing a young lady like filet mignon when she could be your daughter’s age, is a no-go.
So it’s time to ponder the thought, why do you seem to be attracting so many older men, if not, only older men in some cases?
I guess in a way, you should or could be flattered. But when you’re looking to be booed up with someone your own age or at least only a few years older, it can bug you. There’s no set answer, just simple ideas. Could it be that you look “mature” for your age? And by mature, I mean, could you be dressing “older” than you are, making seasoned fellas think you’re fair game? Or could you be rocking a little bit less than you should, bringing uncomfortable attention from an older man? Or possibly, it’s because you’re just so fine that all eyes are on you, and while young men are intimidated to step up, older men who’ve paid their dues and don’t believe in playing coy, are just brave enough to let you know it! Who knows!?
Every one woman is different, and we handle these advances differently as well, so only you can pinpoint why so many older men are into you (one more thing, it could also be because of the places you’re hanging out in). But in the end, I think it has to do with the fact that to an older man, a young woman is like forbidden fruit. The nice change they’re looking for from the mundane. In most cases, you haven’t been fully jaded by the world around you as of yet, you have energy and you give him energy, you’re something garden-fresh and Hot. So he’s gonna holla. We know the same can be said for the cougars out there. And besides, once he gets over a certain age, what does a man really have to lose anyway? You can’t keep a man from giving you the eye, you can only say “no thank you” to his pursuits, or blow his mind and yours by saying yes.
So do you find yourself getting hit on a lot by older men? Why do you believe you get so many advances?
