Let Him Look! Your Man and His Wandering Eyes

December 14, 2014  |  

Being out holiday shopping has given me plenty of opportunity to engage in one of my favorite pastimes – people watching. Watching men watch other women in particular is like a sport to me. I’m always fascinated by how visual men are, and how, for some men, ogling women is involuntary. For some, it’s like they have no control over themselves, while others are a little more stealth when it comes to checking women out. Even more interesting is to see how men, who are with their girlfriends or wives handle looking at women, if they even dare look at all.

For some women, having a man with a wandering eye is no big deal. But some women won’t tolerate a man who looks at other women because they see it as a sign of disrespect – and may even feel threatened by that behavior. Personally, I know that it’s impossible to expect that my husband not look at other women. Most times, as he looks, he also tries to draw MY attention to a woman he may see so that we both can admire her beauty. Luckily, he never stares or ogles women in my presence, even though I’m sure his glances may last a few seconds longer when I’m not around. And I’m okay with that.

It’s a tricky thing because admiring the beauty of others is a natural thing – for both men and women. It’s silly to think that once you’re in a relationship with someone both parties should automatically walk around with blinders on and never notice another human being…EVER. And if a man or woman tries to police their partner when it comes to looking at someone else, it may wind up backfiring on you.

For those that feel that wandering eyes are offensive, try to ask yourself what about it bothers you. Do you feel that your man should never look at another woman, or is it the way he looks that troubles you? I know that while I understand that my husband checks out beautiful women from time to time, I definitely would have a problem with it if he undressed a woman with his eyes and leered at her – especially if I’m standing right there. A glance is no big deal, but if he was staring in a flirty way and/or accompanied that stare with comments about how big her a$$ is, we would absolutely have a problem. But if you’re with someone who would blatantly disrespect you in that manner, then there are probably deeper issues at hand, and his behavior might be the first sign of infidelity .

No one should tolerate any behavior that makes them feel disrespected, unappreciated or threatened, so if your man’s wandering eyes make you feel that way then you should definitely bring it to his attention. He may not realize he’s doing it, so having a conversation about how it makes you feel might help him to be more sensitive when it comes to looking at other women. Make sure you tell him that you don’t expect him to not look at another woman ever, just don’t ogle. If he loves you, he’ll take your feelings into consideration. If he doesn’t, then it’s probably time to bounce him anyway.

People, and men in particular, will always notice something pleasing to the eye – and there’s nothing wrong with that. I know that if my husband admires another beautiful woman it doesn’t mean he finds me unattractive. If you are secure in your relationship, you’ll also be able to acknowledge another beautiful woman in your presence without feeling threatened, jealous or possessive. If you feel that way, make sure you’re not suffering from self-esteem issues before you attack your man for noticing another woman. Expecting your partner not to notice other people is unreasonable, but it’s not unreasonable to want to be respected in your relationship. Just remember that you won’t ever be able to control his behavior – so don’t even try. Decide if it’s something you can deal with, and if not…keep it moving.

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