It’s All About The Clitoris: Part 1

December 12, 2014  |  

Who says a woman isn’t supposed to enjoy sex? Especially when women have been perfectly designed with their own special pleasure spot! Did you know this spot is the only organ in the human body with the sole function of providing pleasure? With over 8,000 nerve endings — more than its counterpart, the mighty male (circumcised) penis, which has about 4,000 — it’s no wonder why women can achieve multiple mind-blowing orgasms. According to some researchers, even stimulation of this organ accounts for 50 to 75 percent of most orgasms. And, over 90 percent of women experience their first orgasm through its direct stimulation. Even more amazingly, most women experience multiple orgasms as a result of direct or indirect stimulation of this special spot of precious pleasure. The Clitoris is her name.

So where exactly is she, the clitoris? Many women complain that their partner can’t find her, mistreat her, or don’t spend nearly enough time getting to know her. And the vast majority of women do stimulate her in order to enhance their sexual experience! She is a key player to sexual pleasure. She’s a small, round blossom of pinkish or brownish flesh located just above the vaginal opening. A true cutie but shy at times, she’s usually hiding under a soft fold of tissue called the “clitoral hood” that helps protect it from over stimulation. Her size and shape differs from woman to woman, but on average she’s about two-and-a-half to four inches long, similar to the length of a flaccid penis. How about that? But, it’s important to note that her size does not correlate with the amount of pleasure she gives. Treat her right with the right stimulation and the results of magnificent multitude can be achieved no matter her length.

There’s more to her than meets the eye! Only a small portion of her can be seen by the naked eye since about 75 percent of her is hidden internally. Most people only focus on her pretty bold head or “glans,”  but the clitoris is actually a complex network of nerves that stretch throughout the vagina and up into her woman’s body. Some of her hidden internal parts include: erectile tissue, glands, muscles, blood vessels, and nerves. Internally, the clitoris has a bulb, winged-like figure that is reminiscent of a wishbone and she sits on both sides of the urethra. These pretty wings are made of erectile tissue that extends beneath the inner lips of the vagina, and they fill with blood when her woman is aroused.

Once aroused, her bulb fills with blood, increasing her size and sensitivity, which may retract her hood to reveal her head. At the peak of pleasure or orgasm, she will return to her petite size. But sometimes when orgasm isn’t achieved, or for other reasons, her bulb may remain full. If it’s for longer than a few hours, her condition and discomfort is pretty much the female equivalent of “blue balls.”

Every woman is unique and therefore so is her clitoris — not only in appearance but in the way it maintains a satisfying level of sexual arousal as well. The sensitivity of the clitoris and how she likes it to be handled for pleasure varies greatly from woman to woman. The direct approach is not always the best approach when it comes to the clitoris. Some women don’t enjoy direct stimulation because the overall feeling can be very intense, which may eventually cause pain for them, while other women enjoy the intensity and direct pressure and/or stimulation of their clitoris because it feels exhilarating for them. Then there are others who prefer stimulation from the side area or on top of the clitoral hood and the feeling is just as breathtaking. But, if you or your partner are uncertain of your level of clitoral sensitivity, it’s always best to start out gently, nice and slow, then vary your touch depending on the reaction being conveyed.

Communication and knowing your partner is ultimately the key to providing sexual pleasure. Never assume you know how to please her. What worked for one partner may not necessarily work for the another. Take your time, explore her anatomy and appreciate her womanhood. In the end, your hard work will pay off! A sexually satisfied woman is always more willing to return the favor!

Stay tuned for Part 2 of It’s All About the Clitoris.

Dr. TaMara loves nothing more than talking about sex! At the age of 13, she told her mother she wanted to be a Sex Therapist! Her passion is deeply rooted in spreading messages about healthy sexuality. Dr. TaMara is a sexologist, sex therapist, educator and motivational speaker with more than 20 years of experience speaking, writing and teaching about sexuality. She travels the country helping individuals embrace and honor their sexuality. Dr. TaMara has published numerous books and articles. She is the owner of L.I.F.E. by Dr. TaMara Griffin Live Inspired Feel Empowered LLC-LIFE Follow her on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram,  or

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