How to Handle Getting Trolled By An Ex

March 1, 2015  |  

 

When you first start dating someone, you’re essentially telling them that:  “I don’t really know you that well, but what I do know is intriguing enough to make me want to get to know you more.”

Well, with that, sometimes when you do get to know that person more you begin to see certain traits that you don’t like, and they begin to add up.  You might reassess the relationship and get out of dodge.  That seems acceptable, right?

Getting to know someone, realizing that you didn’t like them the way you thought, and then breaking up to eventually run into them awkwardly when you go grocery shopping.

That should be the end, but sadly, in this day and age of over-sharing… it usually isn’t.

There a number of people who are so comfortable with sharing their entire life, that when they hit a relationship bump, or even a break up, they feel the need to share everything with all of their followers, friends, and strangers.

Some are even bold enough to “at” you just to make sure you know that they’re not subtweeting.  They want your attention.  It’s sad to admit, but trolling your ex is something that has happened to too many of us that it’s sad that we need an article like this.  However, as someone who was trolled by one of my exes a few years ago (*eye roll*) I’m here to give you some tips to keep in mind that helped me.

First things first:  Ignore them.  There’s a Bible verse that I live by that says:  “Where there’s no wood, the fire goes out.”  I take that to mean that if someone is coming at me crazy, I’m only going  to feed and prolong the situation if I react to it.  People can’t argue with themselves, and after a while (usually a short while) they’ll leave you alone.

Second:  Block them.  Refusing them access to your social media accounts can cut a whole lot of that crap out real quick.  If  they don’t have the common sense to just let you two part in peace, they don’t deserve the privilege to comment on your page, or see your updates.

Finally:  Report them.  Now, this is only for those very intense cases, like the man who tried to troll his ex into committing suicide.  There are those people who are out there who are that malicious, and only respond to an authority figure.  If the trolling has moved toward the line of harassment, seek help!

The issue with being trolled by an ex is that it’s a control thing.  Some of these crazy individuals were able to hide just how malicious they were until you started to get to know them.  Then, when you finally decide to go out on your own, they want to embarrass you.  It’s a way to control you to make themselves feel better for you leaving them.

Just remember that they’re trying to steal your agency, but you have more control over it than you realize.  Don’t settle for someone who is trying to make your social media life a living hell, because they can’t handle being without you.  They’re just proving that they don’t deserve to be in your life in the first place.  So if they’re giving you that line of:  “I just did that because I love you so much and I was mad,” please know that they will probably do it again.  You’re too good to endure that type of behavior.  Remember that.

 

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