While navigating the dating world, many women get lucky enough and come across the man they believe is the one for them and they’ve placed it in their minds that they are ready to settle down. We all know that once a woman has it set in her mind that she’s ready to settle down with “the one,” she puts her all into the man and the relationship until her goal is met. While there’s nothing wrong with putting your all into your relationship in pursuit of commitment, what happens if the one you want to be with is not ready to settle down at the same time that you are? What do you do when this happens? For some women, they lay it on thick and slowly begin placing pressure on their mate consciously and subconsciously. How is this done?
- By always sliding the topic of an engagement, wedding or marriage in the conversation in some way. Women who do this fail to realize that not only is this annoying, but it takes the future delight out of planning a wedding and it may be a red flag to your partner.
- By constantly asking, “Where is this relationship going?” While there’s nothing wrong with wanting clarity on the status of your relationship, there’s no need to consistently inquire. Ask yourself where you believe things are going and make a decision for your own sanity from there.
- Giving him an ultimatum. This is the ultimate pressure move and the ultimate mistake. While many women may believe that giving a man an ultimatum to make him commit works, and hey, sometimes it does, you can’t help but wonder if a commitment made based on an ultimatum is sincere. In my humble opinion, I think a woman should give herself an ultimatum in a relationship rather than the man. Why? Because he’s going to do what he wants to do and women should learn to give themselves the option to do the same.
Many women do these and other things on a consistent basis consciously and subconsciously for the sake of “securing” a mate because their biological clocks are ticking. They see others around them getting engaged or married and they feel as though they’ve reached a certain age in life where it’s time to settle down. And while a number of women believe that they are simply trying to move things along, without realizing it, they are placing more pressure on themselves than on their mates when it’s not necessary. Plus, it takes the fun out of dating. There’s a valuable saying that goes, “When a man finds a wife, he finds something good…” That should let you know that there’s no need to pressure a man into commitment because you’re good enough for someone to willingly commit to you–but at their own pace.
Are you guilty of pressuring your mate into commitment?
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin