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Every relationship goes through a variety of things. The good, bad, bitter and sweet encounters of a couple are what make each party stronger and bring about new lessons to learn to enhance the present love affair you’re involved in, or to at least prepare you for a future one.

While we know that different things go on between lovers, many people, a few men and many women, feel the need to share every detail of their relationship with friends, family members, and in some cases, anyone who will listen to them. Why is this? Why is it that some people discuss the goings on of their personal lives with others so freely? I understand the need to vent to someone when you’re frustrated with your mate, and the desire to share good news too, but there is a difference between venting and flat out sharing far too many personal details about your relationship. While there is a thin line between the two, one must be careful not to cross the line. So why is it so important not to kiss and tell, and what are some valid reasons not to do so?

For one, it builds trust between you and your mate. As you spend more time with your man, your relationship grows. The two of you become closer, and of course, you share personal information with one another. When you’re sharing these things, you trust that your mate will keep them close to their ears and hearts and not share it with the world.

Secondly, you don’t want negative feedback that can affect your thoughts and actions in your relationship. More often than not, when people share details of their courtship, those lending their advice can say things or make recommendations that are less than positive. This advice can have you doubting your feelings, rearranging plans and can bring unsaid drama into your relationship because of the influence the third party’s words can have on you. The less you tell someone, the better.

Lastly, everybody doesn’t need to know the intimate details of your relationship! The things that occur between the two of you are just that…things that go on between the two of you. No one should know everything about your personal affairs with your lover unless you are sharing to get feedback on how to do certain things better… catch my drift?

While it is easy to go from giving someone a simple update on how things are going to slipping into reciting a page from Zane’s Sex Chronicles when speaking on your man, it can be avoided by keeping these simple things in mind:

1.) Know what to share. As much as we want to brag about what we’re doing, when, where and why we’re doing it, the reality of it all is that you must decide what’s too personal to share and what’s not.

2.) Know who you can share with. I think this one speaks for itself…

3.) Consider your partner’s feelings and privacy. How would you feel if you knew your significant other was sharing intimate details of your encounters with his friends and other people? Believe me, it’s not a good feeling to walk into a room and realize that someone you barely know knows all the big and small details about you and your relationship.

4.) Try your best to avoid the question and answer trap. We all have people in our lives who know what questions to ask to get the most information out of us about anything! You can maneuver your way around this by keeping all answers short and to the point, leaving no room for other inquiries.

Intimate moments between you and your love interest should be kept private and close to your heart. Sharing and venting are good things, and can be helpful to your relationship sometimes, but be mindful to keep things at a minimum. You should only be kissing and telling with your mate.

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin

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