Time to Roll Out! Signs He’s Playing You

May 5, 2014  |  
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Some men are just flat out users and abusers. No one wants to date a man who is out to be a player and a user. However, sometimes, the signs are usually obvious. Being used is not only frustrating, it’s painful, and it definitely takes a toll on your self-esteem. In the event that you’re unsure, here are 14 signs he’s playing you.

Things are rarely consistent

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Things are rarely consistent

The relationship is a rollercoaster, to say the least. Some weeks you two are talking and he’s initiating things and then a month later he has completely pulled away from you and no longer seems to want to be involved or invested in the relationship. That’s because he doesn’t.

You pay the majority of the time

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You pay the majority of the time

There’s nothing wrong with going dutch and in most relationships nowadays, things are split 50/50. It’s normal to go out to dinner one date and your man pays and then the next week you pay. However, if you find that you’re paying for almost every meal and activity that you two do together, it’s a huge sign that he’s playing you. Your wallet shouldn’t be the only thing providing funds in the relationship.

He keeps you in the dark

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He keeps you in the dark

Rushing a relationship is never good, but as time passes and things get a little bit more serious, couples usually have the talk about what the future holds. When a man keeps you in the dark about what he wants out of the relationship in the future and his wants and expectations, he probably isn’t seeking a future with you and is instead just leading you along.

Words don't match his actions

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Words don’t match his actions

Anyone can say something but what’s important is following up on those words. Is this man someone who talks a lot of talk and says a lot of sweet words but his actions just don’t match up with them? Sweet talkers tend to be players who are just looking to satisfy their own needs without really caring about yours. Nice words are good to hear, but follow-up actions have a much bigger impact. If the actions don’t meet the words, move it along.

He's dependent on you

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He’s dependent on you

Sadly, a lot of women fall into the trap of wanting to help their partners in any way, shape, or form, even if it’s detrimental to their own well-being, or bank account. If you are with a man who is dependent on you financially, then this is a huge sign that he may be playing you. When a man expects you to foot all of the bills while also paying for his expenses without contributing a dime, something is definitely up.

He puts in very little effort

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He puts in very little effort

Effortless relationships tend to rarely go very far, and things become stressful when you’re the only one trying to make things work. If you have been spending time with a man who isn’t interested in putting in much effort to get to know you or to advance things, then it’s likely that he’s playing you for his own benefit.

You rarely receive gifts

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You rarely receive gifts

Okay, so no one expects to receive cards and flowers on a daily or weekly basis, but it’s nice to receive a surprise gift every once-in-a-while. Are you typically the one buying this man gifts while he rarely buys you anything to surprise you with? A man who wants you and cares about you should be treating you to something special, even if it’s just a card. If you’re always the bearer of gifts, he’s probably not serious about things.

He's available when it's convenient

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He’s available when it’s convenient

Availability is pretty important in a relationship. Of course, we all have lives and with work, school, and other activities, we can’t always be available. But, if this man only seems to come around or have time for you when it’s convenient for him, something is definitely off with this relationship. You deserve a man who is around when you need him to be, not one who is around because he needs something from you.

True affection is rare

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True affection is rare

There’s nothing better than being able to feel loved and cared for by someone. But, as women, we know how to detect fake emotions. Does this man only show you some love when he’s looking for some time between the sheets? Men know that emotions tend to turn a woman into putty, but wise up here. If he’s only showing you affection to get you in bed, it’s a huge red flag that he’s just playing you.

You're the unknown

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You’re the unknown

Typically when a man is proud and happy of his relationship and the woman he’s with, he likes to talk about it and introduce you to the people that he is closest to. But, if you have yet to meet a single one of his friends after months of seeing each other, something is definitely wrong. Either he’s just using you or you’re one of many; both options are bad news!

You come third...or fourth

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You come third…or fourth

Priorities when in a relationship are crucial, and it’s nice when you find a man who is willing to make you a priority in his life. If a man is playing you, it’s likely that he rarely can make time to see you and your feelings, wants, and needs aren’t at the top of his list of priorities. Instead, he puts you on the back burner and comes around when he can make time, in between all of the bar-hopping and nights out with the boys.

He cancels plans often

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He cancels plans often

Sure, things happen and sometimes plans have to be cancelled. When you notice that this man continuously cancels plans with you and never makes plans to reschedule, it’s a sign that he’s playing you and doesn’t feel that spending time with you is important or necessary. When time with you isn’t important, he probably has ulterior motives.

He's selfish and unconcerned

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He’s selfish and unconcerned

Men can be a bit out of touch emotionally, but that shouldn’t stop him from being genuinely concerned and interested in your thoughts and feelings. If this man has no real concern or interest in your desires and wants, he’s obviously very selfish and self-centered, and is probably playing you so that he can benefit no one but himself.

You feel uneasy deep down

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You feel uneasy deep down

Dating and relationships are hard, and there will be times when your heart says one thing and your head says another. What’s important is that during times like these, you listen to your gut. If deep down you feel like something isn’t right with this man, you’re probably right. When you have that feeling that makes you hesitate, it’s time to re-evaluate things and possibly end them for good.

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