Signs You’re Settling For Less Than You Deserve

January 16, 2014  |  
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Maybe you’re sick and tired of being single and you’re willing to date anyone at this point. Or maybe you have low self-esteem and think that you don’t deserve someone way out of your league. Whatever the cause may be, settling is never ideal, no matter the alternative. Here are 14 signs you’re settling for less than you deserve.

 You cannot wait for alone time

No matter who you’re in a relationship with, alone time is always a necessity in order to maintain your sanity and your sense of self. However, you may be settling if you find that you’re all but dying for alone time. You can’t wait until a dinner date is over and you can part ways with this man. When you’re with the right guy you’ll enjoy time you spend with him. If you’re itching for alone time a lot of the time, surely there’s a problem.

 

You purposefully ignore the red flags

You know that this man is in serious debt, but you brush it off and ignore it like it’s not big deal. Or maybe you’ve found that this man still lives with his mom and doesn’t have a stable job, yet you let it go. When you purposefully ignore the red flags about a man, you’re probably not with the one who is right for you. Don’t let the red flags become invisible in your mind.

You don’t have a lot in common

One of the biggest signs you’re settling is when you take a step back and realize that you and this man really have nothing in common. You have entirely different interests, you have different spiritual beliefs, and your future goals do not mesh at all. When you settle for less than you deserve, it’s likely that you’ll find yourself with someone who you don’t have much in common with.

This man easily agitates you

It’s rare that you’ll find a man who doesn’t irritate you in some way or another. However, over time, most couples tend to learn how to deal with and accept each others’ flaws and quirks. If you get ticked off at the smallest things that your man does, you’re clearly not seeing the best in him. When a man only irritates and aggravates you, you’re in the wrong relationship.

There’s no passion

When you two talk to each other rarely do you find yourselves looking in each others’ eyes. After you have some time in the bedroom you simply roll over and there’s never any type of emotional exchange or passionate expression. A relationship void of emotion or passion is simply just a relationship on paper.

 

You convince yourself that things could be worse

One of the clear cut signs you’re settling in a relationship is when you find yourself convincing yourself and others that while the relationship may not be the best, it isn’t the worst, and that for now, the relationship will do. When you’re at the point where you have to compare your relationship to other relationships to convince yourself that it could be a lot worse, you’re headed down the road to unhappiness — or already there.


You refuse to be single for any longer

We’ve all hit that time in our lives when we’ve been single for so long that we’re willing to date whatever guy comes to us, and while desperation may set in and could cause you to think and make some pretty bad choices, don’t let yourself settle just because you don’t want to be alone or single any more. What’s worse: being alone and happy or settling for a man and being unhappy? Think about it!

 

You never talk about deep topics

When you and this man talk to each other, you only talk about general things. You’ll ask how work went or how class went and maybe you’ve had talks about what your favorite genre of music is and what your favorite movie was last year. But, when it comes down to it, you’re not able to talk to this man like he’s your best friend. Instead, you avoid talking about the future, your dreams, and your fears.


You feel dependent on him for a silly reason

Maybe this guy knows everything about cars and has fixed yours numerous times before. Or maybe he’s good with money and you can always count on him financially if you ever need to borrow some cash. When you become dependent on a man because of something he provides you and you’re unable to imagine living without him because of that, there’s a bigger issue at hand. Being too dependent on a man you don’t even like is never wise.


You don’t believe true love exists

You’ve been burned in the past and after seeing relationships fail left and right, you really don’t believe in true love at all anymore. When you give up on the idea of finding love with a man, you leave yourself very vulnerable to simply settling for whatever comes your way. At the same time, you may also be completely unaware if and when you do come across a loving relationship.

 

Things are forced

You have to force yourself to contact him throughout the day, even though you couldn’t care less about talking to him. And when you spend time together you have to put on your happy face and act like you’re over the moon happy to see him. Faked emotions and relationships never go well together.

You’re waiting for change

When you’re settling for a man or a relationship, it’s likely that you’ll be hoping and waiting that one day some change will occur. You’re hoping that this man will morph into the man you’re looking for and that the relationship will eventually change into something better than it is. Sadly, that will never happen. Ever.

Things have been mundane since day 2

When relationships become one big mundane routine, the fix often isn’t easy However, if you find that you and this man go to the same spot every Tuesday evening at the same time and neither of you care enough to break that routine, it’s obvious that you simply aren’t excited about the relationship and that you’re more than likely settling for a lot less than you deserve out of a relationship.

Things are mediocre

If a friend asks how things are going or how the relationship is progressing and you don’t really have many words to explain it or you’re grasping for what to say, you’re definitely not in the right relationship. Things are good, and the relationship is nice, and you’re eager to move onto a new topic. Describing your relationship with nothing but mediocre adjectives is a clear sign that you’re settling.

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