Mean Things Men Do That Make (Some) Women Want Them More
I’m not saying this list applies to all women—some of us have learned to be attracted to nice guys. But, there will always be a primal instinct in us that gravitates towards the aggressor, the narcissist—the “alpha” male. If we’re smart, we know that that’s just hormones, and walk away. But here are some mean things men do that, whether you like to admit it or not, grab your attention.
Pressure you into sex
Even though in reality, the guy just wants to get laid by whatever warm body is around, when a jerk is pressuring you to have sex, it can be a turn on—as if he just wants you so bad, he is throwing manners to the wind.
Just talk about themselves
About their success, their money, the famous people they know, the connections they have and so on and so forth. It might be very egotistical for them to talk out loud about how great they are, but then there is the hot side of it where it’s a guy who could get you into any club, introduce you to any celebrity, and take you to the most expensive restaurant in town.
Check out other women in front of you
Just to remind you that you are not the prize—he is—and that you are not unique—he is—a mean guy will openly check out other women in front of you. He might even say, “She’s got a nice rack” to your face. And then your competitive side comes out, and the guy wins.
List off impossible standards
“I don’t date a woman who isn’t making six figures, or whose family doesn’t have at least two summer homes, or who doesn’t run around with the most elite crowd. Oh, and who doesn’t keep her body in model-shape.” When a guy lists off impossible standards, suddenly you want to meet those.
Call at unreasonable times
Like at 2 am, asking if he can pick you up so you can come to an after-hours party with him. Or on Friday, to ask if you’ll take off work Monday and go to a cabin all weekend with him (to have sex, obviously). Or at 8 pm on the night you had plans to have dinner, to say, “I’ll be there around 10.”
Text when they’re with you
A jerk wants you to know that he is wanted all over town, and if you left, he would have a million other places to be and people to see. When he gets you to believe this, he gets to dictate what you guys do. God forbid you be picky about the restaurant when he has 15 people on speed dial who’d go with him wherever he said.
Tell you stories about having sex with someone else
“This one time, I was banging this chick on the rooftop pool of this hotel…” jerks want you to know that they get laid so much, that getting laid isn’t even a big deal—you have to be remarkable in bed to leave an impression. Hey, they’ve already had sex in a pool on the rooftop of a hotel. So, what do you have to offer?
Belittle the server
“Um, miss, my date’s pasta is almost Al Dente, but it’s not really. Take it back.” “Um, miss, is this the top shelf tequila—because I know top shelf tequila, and this doesn’t taste like it.” Sure, he’s being mean to the server, but he also wants to treat you like a princess. Which he knows turns you on.
Not take no for an answer
You say you don’t want to go on a second date and he says, “Yeah you do. I’ll call you tomorrow.” He’s disregarding your wishes but at the same time he is so confident he’ll provide you with the time of your life, he’s willing to ignore rejection, so he must be something special…right?
Tease your friend, behind her back
When your unassuming friend walks to the bathroom he says, “Aren’t you glad you don’t have thighs that size? She’s probably so jealous of your amazing figure.” He just insulted your friend, but he put you on a pedestal in the meantime.
Be politically incorrect
A jerk won’t hesitate to make a politically incorrect or off-color joke. That’s his way of saying, “I’m so powerful around here that I can say whatever I want.” And then you want to be the “queen” of the most powerful man in the room.
Tell you they will have you
If a guy simply says, “You will sleep with me by the end of the night,” you’re immediately convinced he knows you so well, and understands the inner workings of the female mind so well, he feels confident saying that. Next, you don’t even pay attention to whether or not any of that is true, and sleep with him.
Talk badly about other guys
If there is any competition around, the jerk has already pointed out how one of them obviously shops at the outlet mall, and the other has a stutter, and the other has a stupid job. And now, you feel like you only succeed if the jerk is the one you go home with, and you feel ashamed to talk to the other guys.
Kiss you, even when you say no
This is similar to the guy who pressures you to have sex—the guy who won’t stop groping you and trying to make out with you in public, even when you push him away, makes you feel irresistible, and like he’s proud to be seen with you.