Before we go any further let me say a few things. No, I’ve never dated a Jamaican man. And no, I’m not even from Jamaica. So what is this Yankee girl going to tell you about dating a Jamaican. Well, my grandparents, aunts and uncles are Jamaican. I’ve spent a lot of time around people of that culture to learn a thing or ten. And in my short life, there are few things I’ve picked up when it comes to relationship dynamics. So if you’re thinking about dating a Jamaican man or you just want to be entertained for the next couple of slides, let’s dive in.
Don’t Believe the Hype
Before we get down to the nitty, gritty can we just agree that not all Jamaican men, or all men in general for that matter, are the same. Just as soon as you think you have a group of people pegged, that’s when someone will flip it on you. It’s no secret that Jamaican men don’t have the best reputation when it comes to dating. Rumor has it that they’re misogynistic, controlling and philanderers. But let’s be real, what ethnic group of men can we not say that about? Just like anybody else there are the good and the bad. Do I know Jamaican men who have treated their women with little to no respect? Yup. A few of them are in my family. But I also know Jamaican men, both inside and outside of my family, who treat their partners like queens. They’ve sacrificed to make life better for their wives and their children. How a man treats a woman has very little to do with his country of origin and more about how he was taught to treat women by the men and even women who raised him.
Keep Fast Food to a Minimum
You know what they say, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. And in the case of the Jamaican man, that food needs to come from your stove, oven. Bringing home a greasy bag of something is not quite going to cut it. You may be able to get away with it every once in a while but after a minute…you’re bound to catch some resistance.
He Won’t Go Down
While it’s generally assumed that American men lick it before they stick it, that’s not something Jamaican men do. Well, let’s be real. Most of them probably do it but it’s not something they’ll admit to in public.
I know you’ve heard the rumor about Jamaicans have 15 jobs at a time. It’s a stereotype sure, but one that has some truth to it. Whether your man has three jobs, or just one, more times than not he’ll have a pretty impressive work ethic.
In American culture, women think their relationship has reached some type of serious plateau once their man brings her around the family. That might not be so much of the case when you’re dating a Jamaican man. Not that he won’t take you to meet his family. He will. It just might not mean all that much. Thing is family gatherings tend to be a very important part of social life. Somebody’s cousin, aunt or something is always having a party. And you may very well be invited. But that doesn’t mean he’s bringing you because you’re his number one. It may just mean you were invited to that particular party. And another young lady may show up at the next one. And since he’s so close to his family, don’t be surprised if his mother’s opinion holds more weight than you’re accustomed to.
What that mouth do?
If you’re a bit prudish when it comes to discussing matters of sexuality, openly…like in front of those family members we just mentioned, this Jamaican man may not be for you. Somehow, some way sex always comes up in conversation. When I first moved to New York, I lived with a Jamaican/Trinidadian family. And like I said, the family was close, the daughter who had just gotten married, lived next door to her mother and father. One night, the wife, (the daughter), jokingly said to the husband, I was a virgin when we got married. And the husband’s response was: “Yeah right, of your mouth.” They had this conversation in front of a car full of people and it was funny. But the American side of me knew there were people who would cringe at such a “crass” conversation. Another time, my male cousin came out of the bathroom holding his pants up around his waist because he didn’t have a belt. And my grandmother looked at him and asked, “Is what you holding heavy?” In other words, it goes down. Prepare yourself.
That infidelity thing…
I can’t be completely honest about this subject without addressing the notion that Jamaican men just can’t seem to keep it at home. I’ve asked the women on my Jamaican side of the family if they believe it’s true that women just accept that their men are going to cheat. They assured me that it’s not something Jamaican women accept; but they can’t stop a man from doing what he’s going to do, if he’s going to do it. They can only decide what they’re going to do in response to his infidelity. I don’t know if I can honestly say that Jamaican men are more unfaithful than any other type of man out here. Who knows? But my “auntie” was right, you can’t stop a grown man from stepping out. But you can decide whether or not you’re going to accept it.
He may be homophobic
Obtaining and then asserting your masculinity is often of supreme importance to Jamaican men–like many men, really. And unfortunately, “being masculine” often means distancing and denouncing anything that appears homosexual. If you hear your man refer to another as a “batty man.” It doesn’t mean he thinks he’s crazy. Sadly there are too many reggae songs that perpetuate this type of hate. Damian Marley, obviously one of the biggest name in reggae rationalized the homophobic lyrics in many reggae songs by saying when they say they’re going to burn gays, it doesn’t mean literally but that they’re going to be burned in an eternal fire…So he basically believes, and makes music stating that gays are going to burn in hell. Naturally, all men don’t believe this, but it’s a prevalent sentiment.
Keep Your Guard Up– He’s Smooth
It’s not just the accent that will get ya. It also has a lot to do with his words and the way he strings them together to woo you. Be careful and don’t get caught up in a trick bag.
This one is strictly speculation, buuuut rumor has it Jamaican men put it down, do their thang, flip it and reverse it in the bedroom. Like I said, I wouldn’t know. But if the daggering we see in the dancehall videos is any indication, looks like you may be in for a workout. But again, I wouldn’t know…