After you’ve already dedicated time getting to know someone, getting attached to someone and getting involved in their life, it’s depressing to think that was all just a waste of time. But you know what the real waste of time is? Spending your life with someone you’re not 110% into. And here are signs that you’re on that path.
You’re in your head during sex
During sex, you notice every face he makes, how loud his breathing is, how heavy his body feels on yours, the weird noises created by your bodies slapping against each other. You’re totally out of the moment.
You’re happier when he’s not around
You probably haven’t thought about it, or haven’t pinpointed it as such but, in reality, you are happier when he’s not in the room, than when he is. Plain and simple: you know what happiness feels like, and you’re not feeling it around him.
You choose sleep over sleeping with him
You’d rather stay home and get a solid eight hours of sleep in your bed, and your home where you’re comfortable, then drive somewhere to see him.
You don’t want to talk about your relationship
Talking about your relationship bores even you. When your friends ask you how it’s going, you say, “Great!” and change the subject. But come on: when you’re into a guy, you have a million things to say.
You don’t speak up when you’re upset
You acknowledge that your boyfriend is being selfish/rude/annoying but you don’t say anything. And the truth is, you don’t really feel upset. When you’ve become emotionally detached from somebody, you don’t feel affected by his poor behavior.
You think about other men, extensively
We all occasionally acknowledge that somebody else is attractive, even while we’re in a committed relationship. But you find yourself thinking about a guy you met for five minutes, for five weeks.
You don’t notice that you haven’t talked in a while
You vaguely, casually notice that, “Oh yeah…we haven’t spoken since yesterday.” But you didn’t notice his absence. And that 24 hours felt like it flew by.
You make no effort in your appearance
You just don’t care. You really don’t. You think about the prospect of him thinking you look ugly, and that prospect doesn’t bother you. This is what you want to wear right now.
You stop sharing exciting news with him
He’s not the person you share exciting, or difficult, changes in your life with. It just feels like effort re-hashing it all to him. And quite frankly, you don’t know that he deserves to share in your happy moments, or even vulnerable ones.
You stop asking for his advice
It just annoys you if you do take it in, and for the most part, you tune it out. You don’t value his way of thinking or living, so why would you want his advice?
You’re thinking about ending it. Every day.
Every so often, we might think about wanting to end it with our guy. But you have a thought about it every day—how you’d do it, what you’d say, what your life would be like without him etc. And the thoughts have only been increasing lately.
You’re hesitant to make future plans
Purchasing a $500 plane ticket to go visit his family in the Spring screams, “Bad idea!” to you. In fact, making any solid future plans with him that require much time, energy or money feels irresponsible.
The thought of him with someone else doesn’t make you jealous
If you think really hard, and actually visualize, in vivid colors and every detail, your man having sex with another woman, you don’t get a massive stomach ache. You should…
You really care about inconsequential things
It matters a lot what restaurant you eat at, or what movie you see, or if you go to Target or Walmart. Why? Because, when you’re into someone, their company makes all activities fun. But when you’re not into them, the activity itself has to do all the work of satisfying you. Your partner is just extra weight.